- Gender and Relationships
How To Divorce. Divorce Advice for Men.
Did you hire a private investigator?
Is ignorance bliss? Some would say it is. You could live your entire life in the one suburb, completely unaware of the cultural experiences you might have abroad and you could actually be extremely happy.
In divorce, we often find out many secrets that simply anger us and have us seeking revenge. When your marriage comes to an end, it is because your partner may actually be very prepared for it. Perhaps they took steps months ago because they had made a decision to end it without telling you.
This is when affairs begin. For months you can be deceived while your husband or wife sneaks around. And maybe weeks, months or years after the marriage ends you find out the awful truth.
Perhaps you sought out the truth. But what did it do? It just left you questioning your entire life. Your trust has been obliterated. Perhaps if you never knew the truth you would have gone on to have a healthy, happy life with a new partner. But now, you feel you can't trust anybody and you are even angrier with your ex. This kind of thing is common and sticks to you. In fact it can grow inside you like a cancer, taking over all of your systems, eating at your brian.
Perhaps it is better to know AS SOON as you even suspect something is up.
This is where you need a private investigator. In fact, there are two reasons to hire a p.i leading up to your divorce, When you learn how to divorce, you will understand these two reasons perfectly:
1) To see if your partner is hiding a secret such as an affair or hidden millions
2) to conduct surveillance to ensure your children are safe.
The first reason allows you to prepare yourself for the coming times. By the time the separation comes, it could be you who initiates it. Nothing hurts more than when they split with you. But when it is you doing initiating the breakup, life feels much more in control and you are much more emotionally stable.
You can also prepare a lawyer, amend your will, prepare your assets and see a counsellor. If a private investigator turns up the information early, when you just begin to get a sniff of betrayal, believe me when I say your entire outlook on life is much healthier long her,
The second reason to hire a private investigator in a divorce, in Australia, the U.S or anywhere, is that often your ex partner will fall into a new relationship. As cliche as it sounds, there are statistics that show a new partner does not treat your children well.
As you do not trust your ex's new partner, you want to ensure they are safe. This can include whether the new partner smokes in the car with your children on board, whether they are being neglected or treated harshly.
This information goes a long way in family court during a divorce.
So as you learn how to divorce, a private investigator is an extremely useful resource that I recommend you use.
Even as a date coach / divorce coach, i would recommend a p.i. It is great divorce advice because many of my clients were completely lost. And they were lost because they never saw any of the tragedy coming.
Divorce in Australia, the U.S, U.K or anywhere is exactly the same when we are dealing with issues of the heart. Our entire lives are flipped on their heads.
So be prepared early on. Once the divorce is done, maybe it is better to stay ignorant of crimes committed by your ex during the divorce. It may only serve to cause you long term damage.
All the best,
Beginning a fulfilling life again after divorce
My name is Greg Dean. I am a confidence coach for men and women. It is shocking to me how many of us are too scared to take big risks in this world and also fail to appreciate and love who we are and what we give to the world.
We all get 24 hours a day and so if you have two working arms, legs and brain as I do, then you can do what I do and you can go where I go.
I have traveled the world, have built several successful business and speak 3 languages. I am at the gym 5 nights a week and I watch what I eat.
I don't waste a moment of this one precious life. It is why I am writing this article too. I am challenging myself to write an articulate article to inspire you that life after divorce is actually amazing, IF you know what to do.
As I stretched out my coaching business, I moved from just being a confidence coach for singles, but a divorce coach for men and women. The issue after a divorce for both men and women is that they are now much, much older and many times overweight, emasculated, weak and unachieved, or they are also, as women, too masculine and unattractive to men.
Marriage creates scars. It's not really the divorce in my opinion that crushes somebody's soul. It is what occurs DURING marriage that does that. The divorce is just the result of being betrayed, used, abused, berated and ignored for many years.
Often my clients, when learning how to divorce will not recount the painful moments during the divorce but they will continue to replay painful, negative and destructive moments inside the time they were married. The eventual fact is that they have anchored any memory of their ex to pain and to hatred. This does not carry well into a potential new relationship.
Now, perhaps, like MANY of my clients, you feel that love is for the young, but it is not. In fact, infatuation os for the young. That's it. Love is for the patient and the giving, no matter what their age.
But scarring, well that happens between when you are young to where you are now. Nobody wants a weak, broken, bitter and twisted older man or woman. It is why youthfulness is seen as so attractive.
Whether you now want a tomboy or a young Thai wife, it stems from feeling that the cranky older people around you are not good enough for you. And likely enough, you are not good enough for them, because you feel so damaged you will only make their lives even more toxic.
So how to you begin again after divorce? How to divorce with style?
Well, there are a few steps.
1) Unless it is an emergency, do NOT stay in contact with your ex. No SMS, no phone calls and NO social media. No liking their posts or replying to emails. Unless it is an emergency, treat life as if they never existed, for now. You need time away.
2) If you don't have the social skills to be attractive to the opposite sex, hire a date coach such as myself who has broken down the sting game into a step-by-step analytical process and can teach you to NEVER be scared to approach or be approached by the opposite sex. A good date coach will having you dating successfully within months.
3) Streamline the legal process of divorce. Don't get emotional and vengeful. Work out what you want to keep, which should only be your real assets and let the rest go. If your ex wants to fight over trinkets, let them have them. WHo cares. you cannot take them with you.
4) Ensure that your kids come first. In fact, ensure that they never see your ex in a negative light. Regardless of your opinion of your ex, ensure the kids know they they are loved equally from both sides. Let love fill their life.
5) Take an overseas holiday. Get your passport and go to a cheap country to be pampered. You will remember what life was like to be free.
7) Only take correct divorce advice. What I mean by that is that everyone has an opinion. Legal advice is expensive. So find an audio series or course that gives you a step by step on how to divorce legal, financially and emotionally.
Remember, anything that holds you back from living again, mostly is coming from within you. It is not external. It is not your ex, moth-in-law, children or job holding you back. It all comes from. Stop blaming others because it is doing you no good and living the past. Live for the future. But the now is a gift. It is why they call it 'The Present'.
All the best,
Your Divorce Coach
Loosen the rope and live life after divorce
Love or Trust? Which do you value more?
Which do you value more in your relationship if you could only have one? True Love or Trust?
Love or Trust?
You can love somebody dearly, but sometimes you mess up. Nobody is perfect.
Imagine you had a choice. Either your partner loved you deeply. It was true love. But you couldn't trust them to stay faithful, or be there for you at the drop of a hat or not tell you little lies.
You could trust your partner to NEVER lie, never cheat in any way, shape or form, always be available to you you and they never let you down, BUT they didn't love you deeply. They loved you ok, but not with deep, inspiring passion, as with your first option.
Which would you choose?
For the love of passive income!!
for any man or woman, defining yourself through your relationship is a BAAAAAD thing. If the score you keep to your successes in life surround your relationship, your future is in for a big overhaul.
It is better to cry sitting in the drivers seat of a BMW than it is to cry on a cheap scooter. So, while happiness should not be defined by what you own necessarily, money can and will help you keep score of your achievements.
So why not use your new single life to buckle down for 12 months and out earn weekly wage? Why not use those after hours to create a passive stream of income? Go for it!
The greatest fear my clients had was the fear of failure here. So what if nobody buys from you? Your first business was not supposed to make you rich. It was designed to teach you lessons. You should be happy if your business nets you just $100 extra per week, especially if it is passive, meaning minimal to no extra effort. If money is just coming into your account week after week because of something you created once, this becomes your new definition of how to keep score.
By learning a new skill, such as starting a business that builds a residual income stream, the way to keep score is then the amount of income earned subtracted by the hours spent earning. If you earn $100 per week and spend one minute working on it, you are in a great position.
Many unhappily married couples COULD have saved their love by working together on a business idea, but I have heard too many stories where one dragged the others ideas down and so they both lost out big time.
Now is the time to start that business. Work that business for free and learn those lessons with all that spare time. Put relationships aside and work on yourself. The money is there for the taking!