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Finding Love When You Think You Are Unattractive

Updated on June 27, 2015
Chavelle Murray
Chavelle Murray

The cliché goes “God made everyone in His own image”, in his eyes, we were perfectly made. So why would anyone think they are unattractive? It all boils down to perception, what we perceive as being beautiful or attractive. Cultural diversity has brought many definitions as to what different people define as “beautiful”. In some cultures, you have to have a small waist and very little flesh to be considered beautiful whilst in some you actually have to be curvy or “bootylicious”. As the Chinese Philosopher Confucius said “everything has beauty, but not everyone can see it”. This is so true in a sense that, everyone has their personal opinion of what they think beauty is and is somewhat “blind” to find beauty in anything other than what they perceive or just the same as how some persons fail to find the beauty in themselves.

The feeling of being unattractive makes it hard for some persons to find love, but they always say “every hoe has its stick a bush”. There is someone out there for everyone, but just in case you need a push start, here are some tips:

1. Self Evaluation

The feeling of being unattractive is a personal thing. Take some time and think about what makes you feel unattractive. What is it that you hate about being you? What do you think is making it hard for you to find love? Is it something you can easily work around? Understand that we all have flaws, and no one will accept them until YOU do. In the same breath, think about the qualities that make you unique, the qualities that can make you loveable. Are you funny or smart? Are you kind of person to entertain a good conversation? Yes, it is agreed that appearance accounts for more or less a percentage of what persons look for when choosing a mate, but as they say it’s what’s on the inside that counts, because most times, a more colorful personality is far more attractive.

2. Improve Your Self Esteem

Self esteem is a very important factor, it’s all about how well you value and pride yourself. It’s the perception you have about you. It is important to acknowledge yourself, your strengths and your weaknesses and eliminate all negative thoughts you hold about yourself. But just what else can you do to improve your self esteem? Always exercising and applying a positive mindset can significantly improve your self esteem. Never put yourself down or compare yourself to others. Another thing that can also help to boost your self esteem is indulging in your hobbies. A hobby is something that you really love, and persons tend to give out their all in something that they really enjoy and the end result of partaking in such activities usually yield a sense of positivity, and a sense of fulfillment.

3. Build On Your Self Confidence

Naturally, the progressive development of your self esteem will aid in the development of your self confidence. Having self confidence means you are positive about and believe in yourself. It’s like taking on the world and its challenges Obama-style-“yes you can”. Always wear a smile; it is one of the many signs of confidence. It can also come across as being friendly and approachable. Your development of self confidence can also make it easier for you to interact with persons of the opposite sex and this is a sign of attraction. What can be more attractive than a bold and confident man or woman?

4. Always Remember To Be Yourself

It doesn’t make any sense to pretend to be someone you are not to impress anyone. That only shows low self esteem and a lack of confidence. Sooner or later, that mate will either become bored of being with that pretentious partner or end up loving the pretentious person, which means they will never love you for you.

5. Acceptance

Accept who you are. Love yourself for who you are. A person with high self esteem and self confidence has a far greater chance of finding love. You cannot love someone unconditionally until you love yourself unconditionally.


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