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How To Fix A Failing Relationship

Updated on February 6, 2012
Establish communication
Establish communication

Tips On How To Make A Relationship Work

Everyone deserves a happy relationship in life, but it is so unfortunate that majority of people today don’t enjoy this, but why? Simply because we humans are too selfish when it comes to dealing with our fellow humans, especially with the opposite sex. In order words, we must find a way to make it work, and that’s why I have put together this article to assist readers fix their failing relationships, and to enjoy a happy lasting love life with their chosen partners.

Fixing a failing relationship is not so that simple, and therefore, deserves a full attention and dedication from the person who wants to fix his or her relationship. One of the things that make this task a difficult one, is the fact that most often, one partner may be working towards fixing the relationship, while the other is busy planning to start a new relationship with someone else. In situations like this, it is better you let the bygone be bygone, and move on with your life if you have tried all the possible things to fix the relationship, and there is no sign of change.

share your relationship problem
share your relationship problem

Share your relationship problems with a trusted friend.

Remember, a problem shared, is a problem half solved, so don’t die in silence, share your problems, the solution might be laying fallow in someone’s brain. This reminds me of a friend of mine who was dating a particular girl for more than four years, and at a time, the girl began to act weird, and my friend started to seek for a solution to his girlfriend’s change in character, and in the process, he shared his burden with me. For the fact that I hate seeing my friends in an unhappy relationship, because I wouldn’t like people to point an accusing finger at me as the cause of whatever is happening, I began to counsel my friend on how to fix the problem in his relationship. Firstly, I told him to sit back and trace when and how the problem began, and then examine himself to find out if there was any way he veered off the right lane. Secondly, I advised him to sit his girlfriend down and talk things out with her, by throwing open-ended and close-ended questions like: why are you acting like this dearie, am I treating you bad, what have I done wrong, do you still love me, do you still want this relationship to work, tell me exactly what I have done wrong and I am ready to apologize and change, please; do you still trust me, what do you think is not working in this relationship, etc.

My good friend did all that I told him, and it was during the course of their discussion that he got to find out that his girlfriend was no longer happy with him because he stopped giving her money like he used to, and that was because he lost his job and was now making due with a part-time peanut job, which the girl ignored. How did she make this known? She asked my good friend, “when was the last time you took me out on a shopping?” “When was the last time you asked after my makeup or welfare in general?” “When was the last time you gave me money to take care of my needs?” and in response, my good friend replied, “Baby, you know what I’m going through now, and you know that I am planning to start up my own business, and it’s for our own good and future, so be patient with me okay?” “So I should die in the name of being patient right? Anyway, I’m no longer interested in managing, for Christ’s sake can’t you see? A pretty girl like me ought not to manage okay? If you want a girl that will manage with you, please I’m not the one, before you turn me to a granny at twenty-six,” she voiced out.

That was how my good friend got to discover that his girlfriend was no longer interested in the relationship, and the cost of fixing it was too exorbitant for him at the time, so he had to let go. In order words, the first step towards fixing a bad relationship is to communicate with your partner, because it helps you to discover the source of the problem and why your partner is aggrieved.

Sacrifice- this is another vital step to take when you want to fix your relationship. You must be ready to sacrifice something for the other person, and remember that sacrifice is something that one does out of pain and rigor. In every failing relationship or marriage, there must be something one partner can sacrifice that would definitely save that relationship or marriage, so be ready to sacrifice something you wouldn’t give out so easily.

Patience- after you must have done all that is required of you; you also need to be patient for the positive change to come. Don’t expect your partner’s negative behaviors or character to change automatically, no, it doesn’t happen that way for many, so learn to be patient.

Re-establish friendship- remember, that relationship started with friendship before love, so in order to bring it back to life, try restoring it to its default state, by reestablishing that initial fondness of friendship between both of you. What are those things that make up a good friendship? You must begin to re-introduce those ingredients of friendship into your relationship, to restore it back to its original state. Remember, friendship demands sacrifice, frequent communication, sharing, mutual understanding, and patience. Therefore, for you to fix your failing relationship or marriage, you must reestablish friendship with your partner to bring back the lost fondness in the relationship. Good luck, and do watch out for the part two.


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    • accofranco profile image

      accofranco 3 years ago from L Island

      @MaieLB, thanks so much for stopping by with some words of encouragement. I really appreciate, thank you.

      @Sunny, why would you say that? Please do you mind sharing how you feel and what led to such statement with us please? Thanks in anticipation

    • MarieLB profile image

      MarieLB 3 years ago from YAMBA NSW

      Yet another great article accofranco. Very informative.

    • profile image

      Sunny 3 years ago

      I hate my life but at least this makes it bealbare.

    • accofranco profile image

      accofranco 5 years ago from L Island

      @Mia, he is a man remember? And remember again that men are adventurous in nature even when they love a girl with their heart, but the good thing in his own situation is that he apologized and even allowed you to speak with the girl in question, which means he truly cares and respects you. So I would advice you let the situation and scenario out of your heart so you don't allow it to destroy your relationship and connection with your boyfriend. I understand how you feel, but you must also compromise if you want your relationship to work in life. Good luck and I hope this answered your question? If not, get back to me ASAP. Cheers!

      @asa, he must be obsessed with cheating, which is a bad trait....therefore I would counsel you to give him some rules and mandate to stop or you quit, and then watch out his reaction, and if he continues, pls quit for your health and emotion sake. Good luck dear, I feel your pain, quite disheartening.

    • profile image

      asa 5 years ago

      my bf is cheating and he doesn't stop wat he is doing.. but he lvs me and i know dat. wat must i do

    • profile image

      Mia 5 years ago

      Hi .. Me and my guy always happen to have a fight this past few months .. And i don't know what to do .. i found out that he's calling his ex the last time we had an argument .. Im afraid he might fall for that girl .. I know he loves me because he's doing all rhe stuff a good guy will do for his girl .. Just this one., and i can't take it .. He said sorry and admit that he called her ex because i was mad at him .. He also let me talk to the girl .. But it really hurts and i can't help my self not to brinv back the issue .. What will i do?! ;(

    • accofranco profile image

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @Leeann, try navigating through my articles, I have written a lot of articles that will help you to understand the things you need to tell them to help them mend their failing relationship. But if you can't still find useful info in the articles, then get back to me, but then, you must first figure out who is at fault or who is failing in his/her duties in the relationship because in every successful relationship, each partner must know his or her role and must also play those roles timely and judiciously to make the relationship a success. a relationship must not be a one-sided affair whereby a partner would sit down and expecting the other partner to do almost everything; remember, in a successful relationship, no one partner is supposed to be a receiver while the other remains the giver. nope, it doesn't work that way. Good luck in your first relationship counselling care dearie.

    • profile image

      Leeann 6 years ago

      hi i currently have a 2 friends that are in a relationship that is not good in matter of speaking they just asked me to counsel them and try to help them to work on the negative things what tips can u give me to help them and help me with the counseling them? i am very open to helping them i just need some guidance myself.

    • accofranco profile image

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @Maria, sometimes, you have to let go. Letting go doesn't necessarily mean you are a loser, nope, but do always help you connect with the right person that would appreciate you more. In conclusion, he may not be in love with you, you can as well be patient and see if it will grow in him, but don't wait for too long and don't force yourself into a guy, remember that there is a guy out there waiting to welcome and celebrate you like a queen you are, so don't give up! Good luck dearie, just try to stay calm.

    • accofranco profile image

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @Maria, sometimes, you have to let go. Letting go doesn't necessarily mean you are a loser, nope, but do always help you connect with the right person that would appreciate you more. In conclusion, he may not be in love with you, you can as well be patient and see if it will grow in him, but don't wait for too long and don't force yourself into a guy, remember that there is a guy out there waiting to welcome and celebrate you like a queen you are, so don't give up! Good luck dearie, just try to stay calm.

    • profile image

      Maria 6 years ago

      Hi, I tried a Sacrifice, I tried Patience and we are currently friends, but it's very hard. He doesn't want to get back nor do his bit to make the relationship work. What can i say to him that will make him understand that he needs to meet me halfway? Its not only me that needs to make all the changes and sacrifices.


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