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How To Forgive Someone Even If It Hurts To Do So

Updated on July 11, 2017

If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.

— Mother Theresa

There's nothing truer than this quote. When all has been said and done, forgiveness is indeed the true measure of love. Forgiveness is the alpha and the omega of any relationship. To be able to love someone truly, one must know how to fully forgive.

When we're hurting, the pain is sometimes overwhelming that we want to be angry to that person who hurt us. We want to abhor that person and wish that we never knew him. We want to do everything it would take for us to forget about that person.

But holding on to anger won't set you free. It will only form an enormous shadow in your heart that will only create more hatred, anger and pain.

So how do we forgive someone?

1. Acceptance - let's be honest, it's not easy to accept things especially when we're badly hurt and there's no timeline to do this. But we have to accept that we are not in control of everything and sometimes, we have to let things go and hope that there's something better in store for us. By holding on to anger, we are only prolonging our agony and the wound just keeps on getting deeper.

2. Being Grateful - instead of holding on to pain and focusing on the painful memories, try to look into the positive things in your life. Are we grateful that we woke up today? Are we grateful that we have something to eat today? Are we grateful that we have a place to stay? Sometimes we tend to ignore all the things that make our lives worth living. Think of all the things that make us feel blessed to have them.

3. Be Responsible For Your Part - they say that it takes two to tango and sometimes people find it hard to admit that they have faults. No one is perfect right? And admitting of our mistakes or shortcomings is just the mature thing to do. We grow and learn. Don't let our mistakes hold us back. Learn from them and strive to become a better person.

4. Be Kind Rather Than Right - this is the an idea that I've read from Wayne Dyer's article How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You: In 15 Steps and this is true. Being kind never hurt anybody. By being right, we are only inflating our pride. And for us to truly forgive someone, we must forget about our pride or ego and show love and kindness.

Forgiving someone is not an easy thing to do but always the right thing to do. It will take time but what is important is that at the end of the day, we forgive and we forget.


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      Anonymous 12 days ago

      Good advice!

    • lisln profile image

      LorLinda 8 days ago from Denver Colorado

      Forgiveness of betrayal is one of the hardest to forgive. But the bible teaches that we must forgive in order to be forgiven. But the most important is that it actually sets us free. Very nice reminder to all of us to take responsibility, thanks for sharing this.

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