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How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back - The Complete Guide
Author: Essy Redfield
Hey girl, welcome to my page!
You are probably here because you are wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back. I've been there, trust me. I know how miserable you feel, and I am truly sorry for you.
Before we begin... as you'll see this page has gotten quite long with all the great comments I get (over 1000 now).
So... I decided to turn my How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Guide
into a video presentation to make it easier for you. It's not going to
win any awards for its video effects (!) but I hope you find it
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back (My Video Guide)
Sit back and watch this Guide that I put together for you.. (apologies that the video looks a bit amateur, I'm a bit new to making videos! I promise the actual content is good though :)
CLICK ON THE VIDEO to get started:
What You Should Do Next:
This is the link I refer to at the end of the video. Think of it as Part II of this Guide:
If you're asking yourself "What is the next step?" you should definitely check out the link.
Here's The Transcript Of The Video:
"You are probably here because you are wondering how to get your ex boyfriend back. I've been there, trust me. I know how miserable you feel, and I am truly sorry for you.
However, there is one person who can't be sorry for you right now.. And that's you!
A breakup is a very emotional and painful thing to go through. Probably all you want to do just now is to curl up on the couch, eat ice cream, and feel sorry for yourself. (And honestly, who wouldn't!).
But if you came here to find out how to get your ex boyfriend back...
...it is extremely important that you decide on a solid plan right now. Before you are tempted to make a bad move by instinct, and blow your chances in the process. (You will be tempted, no doubt about it, and the ice cream will be the least of your problems).
In life, usually it is good to do what your instincts tell you to do. Your "gut feeling" is right most of the time, and if you follow it, you will be alright.
However, this does not apply to breakup situations!
This is the one time where your instincts are totally WRONG. Believe me, if you want to get your guy back, you will have to act completely different from what your heart tells you to do.
So stop what you are doing for a moment. Try to control your emotions, and take a few minutes out of your time to read what I have to say.
My article is quite long, because I have a lot of important information to share with you. But if you are willing to invest five minutes to read this, those five minutes will have a huge impact on your chances to get your ex boyfriend back! So bear with me for a bit.
Three Ground Rules For Winning Your Boyfriend Back
I have defined three ground rules that any girl should follow if she wants to get her ex boyfriend back.
Of course every breakup situation is different. You may feel like your situation is so different, that the "common rules" don't apply to you.
However, if you have decided that you want your ex boyfriend back, I strongly advise you to keep these ground rules in mind, no matter what your situation is!
This is what I have learned from talking with hundreds of girls in breakup situations, and I am not exaggerating, feel free to look at the comments below my article.
OK here we go. The first rule is the simplest and the most difficult at the same time:
Ground Rule One: Be strong!
However heartbroken you feel, trust me, your ex boyfriend is not going to want you back if you show him that you are miserable and/or needy.
You probably have the urge to let him know just how terrible you feel, and how much you miss him, so that he will feel.. ehm... Feel what? Pity..?
A guy doesn't fall for a girl out of pity, ever! You'd be amazed though, how many women try to use this "tactic" to get an ex boyfriend back. Please don't be one of them! To get your ex boyfriend back, you will have to be confident and strong! Girls, I can not stress this enough.
A Little Psychology To Help You To Be Strong
By now you may be thinking "OK Essy, easy for you to say, but I just feel terrible! How can I act confident when I feel as rotten as I do?"
Well of course acting confident can be difficult right now, because after a breakup your self esteem may hit a low point.
Try this little psychological exercise for a minute, it's really helpful:
- IMAGINE how it will be when you are back together with your boyfriend. Not like in a memory, but in the future.That part is very important.
- EXPERIENCE how it feels to be back together after you have been apart all this
time.. Really feel his arms around you again..Feel his love in how
tightly he holds you.. Hear the sweet things he whispers in your ear...
How happy he is that he and you are together again.
Try to make this imagination as "real" as possible.
Now realize yourself (and make a mental note right now) that many couples get together after a breakup, every single day! This is not just a fantasy, you can achieve this goal if you put your mind to it!
People get back together after the most horrible breakups.. Even lots of people that shouldn't be together, still get a second (or third) chance.
Why? Well it's just a matter of biology and psychology.
- BIOLOGY: It's the chemistry between the two of you. If it "felt right" it probably was right, as far as mother nature is concerned.The two of you share a strong connection, so it is probable that you can make "good" babies together. And your (and his) body picks up on that.
- PSYCHOLOGY: This one is more complicated, and this is where you can put your magic to work.. Psychology is actually pretty simple if you know what you are doing. The only problem is, people act in the wrong way to get their results, and mess up their chances in the process. However, if you KNOW what you are doing, you can play your ex's feelings like an instrument.
He is still tied to you biologically. You have been together, right? So this shows that he and you are a biological match. The problem you are facing right now is psychological, which means that you can overcome it with the right strategy.
I am convinced that in most cases, if you want it hard enough, you can get your ex boyfriend back! You just have to be strong and smart about it!
OK, I hope that by now you know that you do have a good chance to get your ex boyfriend back. You only need the right information on what you should do and should not do. So let's continue.
Ground Rule Two: Limit Contact
One area where you need to be very strict with yourself, is contact. Whatever you do, don't harass your ex. This will definitely drive him away from you.
Instinctively you want to call him, because you want things to get back to how they were between you two.
And to get back together, you first need to make contact, right? Right..?
Wrong! Please, in your heart you already know this.. Don't call him! After a guy breaks up with you, he will regard your repeated phone calls as "stalking" or "harassing" way sooner than you think!
And even more important: Since you are giving him confirmation that you
still think about him, he will not feel any pain of missing you.
This is definitely not helping to get him back! So whatever you do, don't call him (unless you have your plan to win him back all laid out, more about that later).
If you have difficulty fighting the urge to call him, then try to keep your focus on your goal: Getting your boyfriend back in your arms! Try the psychological exercise that we did before. Like with most things in life, if you keep the end result in mind, it will just be so much easier!
Ground Rule Three: Find Other Things To Focus On
This may not seem like much of a "get my boyfriend back" tactic, but believe me, it is actually a very powerful method! Let me explain:
If you can find a new hobby or activity to dedicate some of your attention to, you will have less time to miss your ex boyfriend.
Apart from that, you will regain the feeling that you are in control of your life, and experiencing new and interesting things.
Those two factors lead to something very valuable to your goal: You will have more self confidence (and that definitely shows) and your ex boyfriend will notice that you have "moved on" with your life, or at least that you are not suffering full time because he is gone.This works like a red rag on a bull for most guys!
Well so far the basics. I hope you have learned that acting on instinct is a very dangerous thing to do when you try to win your boyfriend back.
"I Broke All The Rules!"
If you have come to this point and think... Oh No! I broke all those rules and then some!
Don't dispair. It's human. Like I said, it's the natural urge after a breakup to do exactly the wrong things.
This doesn't mean the situation is hopeless - Far from it! You may need a bit more help to fix things, but you still have a big chance to turn this situation around.
It's up to you now if you want to continue flying blind, or take matters into your own hands and follow a structured plan to get your ex boyfriend back. You can, if you are committed.
So let's continue with one of my favorite "real life" examples of how to get your ex boyfriend back!
Of course this method won't be useful to everyone, but if you feel that it might suit your situation, I recommend you give it a try!
Example #1 - Donna & David
Me and my friend Donna came up with this when her boyfriend of three years suddenly broke up with her because he felt that
"He needed his space', and
"He wasn't sure what he was feeling for her anymore".
Donna was devastated, she loved David with all her heart and didn't want to lose him!
Luckily, Donna was a psychology student so she knew a thing or two about male psychology. So instead of following her urges to call him up, she did this:
- Instead of pleading and begging for him, she "just" let him go.(For the moment)
- She tried the best she could, to not let him see how much the break up hurt her.
- And then... She took salsa lessons!
This may seem like a strange strategy, and of course Donna had to push herself to do it. But it worked out brilliant:
- It was a big boost for her self esteem (a lot of guys at the dancing class were giving her attention)
- It gave her something to focus on, apart from David
- It gave her a great sense of "adventure", of doing something new with her life
- And most of all: David heard about the salsa lessons (erm.. yes we made sure he did) ;) and he was extremely jealous about it!
It's important to know that guys are very "visual minded". When David heard about the dancing lessons, he immediately visualized Donna with those other men, dancing close together, and probably starting to feel something for one of them..
Before she knew it, David was leaving messages on her cell, saying he made a mistake and they had to talk! Of course Donna made him work for it a bit, before she took him back.. ;)
This happened over two years ago, and Donna and David are still together this day!
So there you see: If you play your cards right, make a solid plan an follow it through, then you will have a good chance of getting your ex boyfriend back!
Well these were my ground rules and a real life example that you can use when you try to get your ex boyfriend back.I hope you found this article helpful!
If you are still a little uncertain how to proceed from here, what's the best way to get your ex back.. then I would really advise you to get one of the professional "get your ex boyfriend back" systems that are available online.
Think about it.. How would it be if someone told you exactly what to say and what to do, Someone who has helped thousands of girls like you to turn their breakup around.. Wouldn't that be exactly what you need right now?
There are a lot of different systems available online, and I have read almost every one of them.
Some of them are really brilliant!
I can't give their content away in this article because it's copyrighted material (and I don't own the copyright unfortunately).. But I talk about the best available "get him back" methods on my site (click the link in the grey box below)
Here's What To Do...
What to do next?
I hope you found this Guide useful. I'd love to go into more detail here, but I've got to stick to my word limit.
Because this Guide has gotten quite popular (I think there's over 1000 comments now), and because of all the great questions I get asked every day...
...I decided to set up a page on my website with some more advice and recommendations EXCLUSIVELY for girls who have read to the end of this article :)
(think of it as the Part II version of this Guide :)
So I'd love you to join me over there. Click the link in the box just above this.
Stay strong! I'm rooting for you,
P.S. I used to answer a lot of questions in the comment section below, and even more through email.. But unfortunately I have to stop doing so. I am really sorry, because I love to help all of you to get your ex boyfriend back.. But it was taking me several hours per day and it just got too much, it started to interfere with my personal life.
If you need more help to get your guy back, you should make things easier for yourself and check my website
(www.ExBoyfriendHelp.com) where I show you the best methods I can recommend to you. You can also register to receive a free PDF version of this article by email.
P.P.S. If you liked my article and you want to help me, you can do so by giving feedback with one of the buttons just below here.
When I was going through my own relationship troubles, I decided to search for some further advice. I learned a lot and that's why I decided to set up my how to get your ex boyfriend back blog. So that I could help other girls out who are looking to get their guy back.