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How To Get Over A Serious Heart Break

Updated on April 19, 2017

Heart Break

Heart breaks, are unfortunately, not avoidable in today's world. Many people find themselves asking "how can I get over a heartbreak". Its not a problem that can be solved by anything other than time. Its the sad truth that those you love the most, those who spark the brightest fire in your heart, are likely not the ones we spend out lives with. Who likes pain? No one, and mental pain unfortunately is the worst forum of pain, because there is no full solution other than time. Although here are some tips to make your moving on process a little easier for you. These 10 steps helped me get through the loss of my relationship of 5 years, which was one of the hardest things i've had to do.

If you feel the need to cry. Cry.

Often, people feel embarrassed to cry they make attempts to keep it in rather than letting it out. This is the first stage of overcoming someone you were once close with. If you keep it inside, it till only build until one day it can explosively in a blind rage. When you let the sadness out, slowly the feels go with them. Find a quite peaceful area and let loose.

Talk to someone you are close with.

Let your feelings out to someone you trust, and who thinks in your best interest. Letting feelings out can help speed the healing process, since someone knows your exact struggle. If so you can turn to that person in a time you feel especially upset or weak.

Think Positively

Think about anything you can that is positive and going in your favor. Weather it be that promotion you just got work, to the $1000 dollars you managed to save up. Think about anything that will not hurt you further. Which of course is easier said than done.

Know the differance between depression, and grief

A serious heart break can spiral down to depression, and it is good to be prepared and know the difference. In normal depression, it feels as if nothing matters, and you lack all motivation to do anything. You keep reminiscing about the break-up as well as being able to stop your mind from teasing you with painful thoughts. This can mean not wanting to get out of bed, to not wanting to come home from work. Your favorite things don't even seem like fun anymore. These are clear signs that you are depressed rather than just sad. If you reach this level it is best to talk to a counselor at your school, or seek help outside from a professional.

Listen to your favorite songs as loud as you want

Listening to music can be Therapeutic, and i do not mean those "break up" or "love songs". But more or less those pump up, feel good songs, that normally get you going. These songs can trigger the "feel good" chemical in the brain called endorphins, helping fight stress and lifting your mood.

Delete who and what you want

If you are constantly reminded about your break up by old photos, or people you are following on Social media. Do not feel bad about doing this as it is in your best interest. A picture can be painful to delete, but that pain will to fade over time.

Art of moving on
Art of moving on | Source

Move on

As straight forward and unpleasant it sounds, moving on is something you must do. You can't keep finding yourself elaborating on the past. Look for someone who is cute and try to start thinking about them more. Think about what you can do to improve your social or financial status, or focus on school. None the less, you need to get your mind on something else.

Don't get into rebound dating

Often times, rebound dating leads to more drama than it is worth. The chances of your ex running back to you are quite slim, considering the fact they are likely the ones who broke up with you. Not to mention the fact that it is not right to the person at the end of the spectrum, since they clearly are interested in you enough to date you. Its just wrong to both parties and benefits no one.

Goal

The goal is to untimely forget about those who have hurt you, even if that means you need to go through the grieving process. I am personally a firm believer of the term "there is always a better fish". So what? This particular fish fell back into the ocean. Cast back in and catch another.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 months ago

      There are some good tips here.

      The reality is most people experience their (first) heartache usually while in Jr. high or high school. Generally speaking we're too immature to realize that the odds of finding our "soul-mate" at age 15, 16, 17, or 18 is unrealistic!

      It's no parents laugh or tease us about teenage love.

      The simple fact is we have yet to figure out who (we are) let alone know what we want and need in a mate for life.

      Nevertheless because of our age and inexperience we have raging hormones and are "all in" since we've never been hurt.

      When I was in Jr. high school a 13 year old girl attempted suicide because her 14 year old boyfriend dumped her in order to pursue the "new girl" at school.

      Naturally with age comes wisdom and we know that no one at age 13 should think their life is "over" because of a failed relationship!

      (No 14 year old should be held responsible for anyone's welfare.)

      I often wonder what she thought about in retrospect when she was in college or maybe after being married later in life and had her own 13 year old daughter.

      The most important thing to do is keep things in perspective.

      In order for your (ex) to have been "the one" (he or she) would have had to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually WANTS to be with you! (And vice versa)

      Thankfully we live on a planet with over 7 Billion other people!

      Odds are there are hundreds, thousands, or millions of people who would consider you to be an ideal mate.

      That person who you feel you can't live without just know this; there are Billions of us who are doing exactly that! In fact you use to be one of us before you met her or him!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      If someone dumps you they clearly don't believe you're special.

      Every ending is a new beginning!