How To Get Over Being Dumped By Your Bestfriend
You and your best friend are very close. Heck, you're BFFs! For years you two were like soul mates. Closer than soul mates, even! It was great, you were both happy.
Then one day, your phone calls were ignored, texts too. At first you tell yourself, "he must be busy." So you give it a day or two and tried again. Same... calls unanswered, texts not replied to.
Now you start to worry. Where is he? What happened? Did he have an accident? Is he hurt? Has he caught some new bug? But, well, you two have been through a lot so maybe something is just bugging him. So you let it go for another few days. You try again a week after, same result. Now it's becoming irritating. You start to get angry and upset. But, friends are supposed to have faith in each other, you wait it out again. Then you notice it's been weeks since you two had any contact.
It starts to hurt like hell. You try calling from another cell phone (from someone he doesn't know... it's sneaky, but you can't help it). He picks up and says "hello," then the moment he hears your voice, he hangs up. You are now devastated! The sky has fallen!
There was no fight. Not even a disagreement. Nothing, actually. Things were perfectly fine then he just starts treating you like you have the plague.
It's now verified, your BFF has definitely dumped you. What do you do next?
It's a very difficult situation. You feel that you need some form of "closure." You feel you need to know what happened... what went wrong... The only way to have that happen is to speak with your BFF but he won't take your calls and won't reply to your texts or emails. So what now? You can ask people you both know about how he is doing. But then that doesn't give you the answers you need. You can try finding a go-between, but do you really want a third person to get involved? It's not like you two are a married couple and you need a therapist or something. A third person may just end up making things worse.
Should you go to his place? What if he slams the door on your face? You can try his office, maybe. But what if he ignores you and makes you look like an idiot? You replay such scenes in your head. Over and over you just try as hard as you can to come up with some plausible explanation.
Guess what? You have two (2) choices.
Either you try hounding him at the risk of becoming a stalker or try getting on with your life.
Of the two, I strongly suggest you try the latter. Since we you have no way of knowing what the real reason for his behavior is, it would be better to simply go on with your life and let your BFF do what he wants to do. As the saying goes, "when you care about someone, set that person free and if that person comes back again, then it was meant to be."
Maybe he is going through a very rough time and doesn't want you to get mixed-up in it.
But wait! There are a million "maybes" and thinking about them night and day will just make you depressed. If your friendship has survived many rough patches in the past, it is probably strong enough to survive this one. Give it time. And, while you're doing that, live your life. If you really have a tough time stopping yourself from thinking about him, make yourself busy. Get a new hobby. Learn a new language or skill. Rent and watch all those great movies you weren't able to watch. Watch tv, bake a cake, read a book, write an article, knit a sweater... anything! Just keep yourself busy. Believe me, it helps.
It will be painful and very difficult. You might even end up sending text messages that are so totally unlike you. You might cry on and off and have trouble sleeping (I found an mp3 player full of upbeat music helps you to get through the difficult nights). For a few days, it will be tough. Then things will get easier. May take a while, just hang in there.
Nothing hurts more than when a close friendship has been broken. It is made even more so when you have no clue why it had to break in the first place. But you need to accept that people sometimes make decisions and we need to respect those decisions even if they seem unfair to us. If your BFF decided to shut you completely out, then you need to move on.
If, some day, your BFF calls (or texts, or emails), pick up. Say hi and don't ask any questions about the past. Just be glad he called. Answers can be found later. If your BFF never calls back, keep living your life. Things happen for a reason. Oprah once said, "when a door closes, it means you weren't meant to go there."
Life is full of challenges and the trick is finding a way to navigate through them. Friends come and go. Even BFFs.
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