- Gender and Relationships
How To Get The "Sexy" Back Into Your Life
Let’s face it, we are all sexual beings. Ask any doctor. It’s a plain and simple fact. Since there is no denying it, we may as well give our sensuality its fair due. If you find you’ve been wearing the practical flat shoes and the bulky gray sweater way too often, that means it is time to make some changes. Your comfy shoes and no-make-up days have their place, but so do your high heels and long dark lashes. So....you'd best think twice about why you've subconsciously given your high heels the boot, so to speak.
Right now is the time to achieve some balance in your life---and that means letting your sensuality have some say.....I can hear it screaming to you now, “Let me out, woman!" "I want to be heard and I'm not taking 'No' for an answer!” Well, alright then. Guess that means it is time to get ready to push your personal boundaries a bit. A few subtle changes here and there will make all the difference. So let's get ready---you are about to feel like a desirable woman once again!
No More Excuses, Ladies!
For you ladies who say you will think about getting your "sexy" back once you lose 20 lbs, or once you save up for the Botox, or once you sign up for the gym membership, or once you clean out your attic, or once you get the car fixed, or once you do this and after you do that----Uh, No! Forget All Of That!
Dove Research: The Real Truth About Beauty: Revisited
• Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004)
• Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
• 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
• 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
• More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic
Life will always give you something for you to do, besides getting your sexy back.. You are making excuses and procrastinating even though, deep down, you're feeling "blah" and basically as far from sexy as any woman can be.
That sensual "spark" you once had just isn't there anymore. Somewhere along the line, it simply vanished. You chalk it up to having too much on your plate. Yet the truth is that you are just being lazy about taking care of yourself---under the guise of altruism. I'm not buying into that and either should you. Your life and your sensuality matter just as much as anyone or anything else on this planet---so stop your whining and start doing what you have to do to get your sensual sparkle back. The time is now! No more excuses!
Okay then, without further ado, let’s jump right in to activity number one.
Get the Sway Back in Your Hips.
Imagine the leaves of a palm tree swaying gently in the breeze. That's the "sway" you're aiming for when you begin working those pretty hips of yours. So how to begin? First you've got to dig your old heels out of the back of the closet. Okay, now put them on. In the privacy of your home, start practicing "the sway." I don't care if it's early Saturday morning and you've still got your pajamas on. Right now, it's the heels that matter. So go get your coffee brewing, and then start walking. You will soon realize that it is practically impossible not to move those amazingt hips of yours when you are walking in a pair of heels. Now remember, you don't have to over-do it. You want to aim for the "gentle breeze" effect.
Top Five Sexiest Countries According To Men
4. Great Britain
Hmmm. Apparently, the United States is nowhere to be seen. Guess we have our work cut out for us. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel
Truly, there isn't quite anything like working your hips in that soft and sensual way to make you feel sexy and alive! Shakira knew what she was talking about when she sang, "The Hips Don't Lie."
Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting you do the belly dancer "Shakira" thing as you practice swiveling your hips in those pretty heels of yours---well, unless the spirit moves you! Actually, the Shakira video below is meant for inspiration and fun! A way to get your creative juices flowing. In real life, you're a palm tree swaying gently in the breeze. Now get to it!
When asked, a very honest guy had this to say about high heels:
"Men like feminine women and high heels are distinctively feminine. Furthermore, they are somewhat restrictive and require an effort to wear, so by wearing them you are making the statement that you are serious about being feminine and perhaps also that you want the man to be masculine.....Finally, they tone your muscles and make you wiggle your butt very attractively when you walk."
~Girls Ask Guys~
A Word About Shoes
If you’re going to put a wiggle in your step, you’ve got to have the right shoes. Flip flops and Birkenstocks just won’t do. Stilettos are ideal, but if you just can’t walk in them or if they’re just too impractical for everyday use, no need to panic---your mid-heel or kitten heel will do just fine. The point is to own pretty heels, even if the heels are only an inch and a half high. Shoes should also fit well and be relatively comfortable, especially if you have to wear them all day at the office. Yes, the flats are practical, but they simply don’t promote that feeling of sexiness. On the other hand, beautiful high heeled shoes do wonders for a woman’s sensuality. We don’t know what it is, but they just make us feel “sexy.” So….dig out those high heels or better yet, buy some beautiful new heels. Either way, I guarantee that your gently swaying hips will garnish some overdue male attention.
What Is Your Sensual Quotient?
Let the Beat of the Music Be Your Inspiration
Have you ever gotten ready for the day while enjoying music? If you haven’t, you’re missing out on a sensual and energizing experience. I’m not talking here about listening to the lyrics from “Let’s Get It On.” What I am suggesting is that you first buy yourself some really good speakers. (I prefer Bose products), if you don’t already have some. Next of all, you might want to select music that has an ethereal, sensual element about it. You can find some excellent songs Pandora radio or Spotify.
Choose music that speaks to you. So if you need something extra peppy and sexy to get your body moving, you might consider Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back." After all, that is exactly what this article is all about. Furthermore, nobody (except maybe your pet) will see you getting a little “crazy” with your dance moves---well, unless you want someone to.....
Yep. It’s just you and your body enjoying the beat of the music, between swipes of mascara and dabs of lipstick. Not only will the rhythm brighten your mood first thing in the morning, the beat will also make you feel pretty darn sensual---and that's just what we're aiming for. I highly recommend this little trick. Believe me when I say it works wonders for the spirit.
Too Much Efficiency, Not Enough Sexy
Please Do Something With That Hair!
Have you been wearing the same tired hair-do for the past 15 years? Have you replaced going to the hair salon with a monthly box of Clairol? Have you been (god forbid) cutting your own hair? Do you have that over-bleached or, worse yet, the "mousy brown" hair thing going on? If so, then it is high time you decided to do something about that very unsexy hair of yours. Beautiful, shiny, well-cut hair, that compliments your face shape, is one of the best ways to begin feeling sexier. In fact, you cannot do without good hair if you want to be a sensual woman. And remember, it is imperative that you and your hair dresser choose a color that best suits your complexion.
Now We're Talking!
Maybe you've always wanted to be an auburn haired beauty or a warm blond. If so, discuss your vision with a good stylist. He or she would love to give you some great advice. That's what a good hairdresser does! And one more thing---if the stylist you're currently seeing isn't making you look gorgeous, you need to find a new one. Here's a tip: Find a hair stylist who is usually booked six weeks in advance. There is a good reason why these professionals are so popular. They know they're doing and needless to say, they're almost always worth the wait! Personally, I've had the greatest success with stylists who rent their own chairs. Also, they generally don't charge as much as the expensive salons with the pretentious names.
The key to getting a good hair cut is to share your vision with the stylist. Just remember, your relationship with a good hair professional is a two-way street. If they are proficient at what they do, you need to listen to them as well. Congratulations, you are now on your way to having gorgeous hair!
Draw Attention To Your "Unusual" Strengths
Funny thing is, what you think you don't have could turn out to be one of your greatest assets. Do you think you're a little wide around the hips? Nonsense. Curves are making a comeback! What you need to do is to bravely wear your skirts much more fitted than you have ever dared. If you must buy the spanks to flatten the tummy---so be it. And while your're at it, make sure you find a skirt with a tiny slit, for added fun! Fitted (not tight) clothing definitely goes a long way toward making a woman feel deliciously sensual.
And now a word about your facial features. I hear women saying, "Oh, but my nose is too big or too long." Well, that's just plain silly. Everyone knows that the nose is what gives the face character. A so-called "big" nose actually makes you look more interesting, in a good way. Your long nose is something to be proud of! It sets you apart in one way, but in another way, it lets people recognize your ancestry.
The truth is, there is something very appealing about a person who feels good about their supposed flaws. It's called confidence, and confidence is always sexy. Barbara Streisand would never think of altering her beautiful schnozz. And why would she---it's practically made her famous. Well, Okay, her immense talent gave her incredible fame, but we all agree----her nose is perfect for her and she looks sensual wearing it as well as she does. My point is this: Take a cue from Barbara. Learn to love your imperfections.
Another seductive woman who would never let her larger than average nose get in the way of her enticing self was Cleopatra. She managed to seduce both Julius Ceasar and Mark Antony, two powerful Roman leaders. Yet Greek historian Plutarch, maintains that “her beauty was in itself not altogether incomparable, nor such as to strike those who saw her."
Likewise, Plutarch states that conversation with Cleopatra “had an irresistible charm, and her presence, combined with the persuasiveness of her discourse and the character which was somehow diffused about her behavior towards others, had something stimulating about it.”
In other words, her immense charm outweighed her less than perfect features.
You're Never Too Old...
I'm sorry? Did I just hear you say you're too old to be sensual? Please do not let me hear you say that again. Ever heard of a woman by the name of Ernestine Shepard? If you haven't, it's high time you did. Ernestine is an American bodybuilder---one of the oldest competitive bodybuilder's in the world. She's also a marathon runner, and as of 2016, she is 80 years old. That's right---eighty! Furthermore, she's gorgeous, and she has sensuality coming out of her armpits.
So the next time you find yourself whining about your age, you had better stop that foolishness and begin realizing that you can maintain your sensuality if you put your mind to it. Well, alright then, now that you know the truth of the matter---get up off of that couch and start doing some push-ups. The girl-kind will do very nicely, thank you very much!
Not only can you be a sensual woman, but you can also be a fit woman. Ernestine Shepard was not always athletic. In fact, she was a middle aged, pudgy woman who hated the way she looked in a swim suit. She decided to do something about it. She joined a gym and she took baby steps, until one day, someone recommended that she try lifting weights.
That did it. Ernestine's life has never been the same since---and the same can be true for you. Frankly, it is much easier to imagine engaging in amorous activities when we feel "buff." The great news is that even one session of exercise can actually "trick" us into feeling like we're in better shape already! It's a matter of finding the right "exercise fit." Once you begin seeing results, there will be no stopping you---you sexy woman you!
According to How Stuff Works, "In one study of almost 13,000 subjects, individuals with the highest levels of anger had twice the risk of coronary artery disease and three times the risk of heart attack, as compared to the subjects with the lowest levels of anger.
Some scientists think that chronic anger may be more dangerous than smoking and obesity as a factor that will contribute to early death."
Let Go of The Anger, For Your Own Sake
Anger isn't sexy. Turn your anger into a spirit of generosity. Allow calm into your life. Make that choice and make it today. By the way, exercise is ideal for alleviating stress. Exercise increases something called norepinephrine, a chemical that moderates our response to stress, and as we all know, exercise also releases endorphins which cause us to feel happier.
Yes, the world feels like a crazy place much of the time. We are bombarded with horrific news on a daily basis; nevertheless, our anxiety isn't going to solve the worlds' problems. Not one hungry child will benefit from our unhappiness, so for goodness sake, give happiness a chance for yourself. There is still so much to be thankful for. Stop to savor your blessings, for they are there to make you calm and contented. And needless to say, your new-found joy will do wonders for your sex life!
Sexy Is Not Sexist!
Before anyone gets "up-in-arms" about high heels, pretty hair, swaying hips and who knows what else, just know that men want to feel sexy too. Men get in a slump just like women do. One of the funniest movies out there, "The Full Monty," captures this truth quite beautifully. Although the film is about six unemployed steel workers, who decide to put on a Chippendale type dance act to raise badly needed funds, the underlying message of the film is about six men with little-to-no confidence in themselves or their sex-appeal, and how they manage to get their self-esteem and their "sexy" back.
The point is---we do what we gotta do. When all is said and done, our sensuality belongs in our lives and it is up to each individual to find a way to recover his or her sensual self without wasting time on thoughts of "sexism."
A great scene from, The Full Monty.
A Final Word
Whether you find your sensual self through music, meditation, physical activity or in any other way, the important thing is to come to love your sensuality. In opening up all of your physical senses, you will also learn to savor a delicious meal, slowly, and with ample time for conversation; you will appreciate the clean smell of a spring day after the rain; you'll give in to the sensation of licking the whipped cream off of your café macchiato; and naturally, you will relish the sensual joy of massaging your lover's body with essential oils. There are so many ways to open up all of your senses to the physical world. It only takes some imagination and the willingness to let your spirit guide the way.
Lastly, this article is meant to promote balance. Women know, intrinsically, that her sensuality has nothing to do with "sex on demand." Rather, her sensuality is, quite simply and beautifully, an intrinsic part of who she is. Her sensuality is a gift....
And one more thing---never forget that laughter is sexy too!