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Stop Trying To Get Your Ex Back- Move On- Heres How-

Updated on August 29, 2011

I Want My Ex Back!

Have you ever heard the saying "They are your ex for a reason?" Time and time again I hear people asking how they can get their exes back. My question to you is, WHY?

Relationships come and go quicker than the Subway. This obsession with retaining the bad relationship that has ended has become one of the most Googled Searches in the World. I am really at a loss of words as to why people are so desperate of sorts to "win" their exes back. Relationships and significant others are not a prize to be won. A relationship is to be cherished and upheld with respect. However,when that ends, so does the relationship.

I looked in the mirror this morning, but I only saw me without you.

There are periods of remorse in ending a relationship. It can be a very traumatic time filled with sorrow, loss and confusion. You may be asking yourself what you did wrong, where did things turn for the worse, why?

All I can say is that the time after a relationship is the time for deep searching within yourself. It is a time to learn from the mistakes of the relationship. By all means it is not the time to conger up some slick maneuver to win their heart back. Ultimately, this form of "courting" will embarrass and humiliate you. Not win them back.

Have you tried to

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Did it work?

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Make a List

One of the best pieces of advice I can give is to make lists.

1. List the WRONGS of the relationship

This is the MOST important list to make. In your times of weakness, and there will be many, you must have this list to remind you of the reasons it's over. We, as people in general, tend to remember the good times. This leaves us vulnerable and weak to the temptation of reaching out to our exes. Don't do it- read the list, remind yourself and go another day.

2. Make a to-do list

Our minds are sometimes our worst enemy. Especially when you have time on your hands. Thoughts invade your head as to why things weren't "that bad" and so forth. So make a list of things to do. Cleaning out a closet, making cookies, writing an article for HubPages (see how to join below). Anything to keep yourself occupied and away from your own defeating thoughts.

3. List the wonderful things about YOU!

Self-serving? Darn right! And that is what you need right now. You are wounded, so mend your wounds with a little self love. Complimenting yourself not only makes you stronger but reassures those doubts about yourself since this relationship ended.

4. List your goals

No, getting them back is NOT one of them. List the things you want for yourself. Now or in the future. Have you always wanted to take a class or get out of town. Now is the time. Start making goals that do not include the other and move on with them.

Move On

I realize it is difficult to move on after a significant time has been invested in someone else. I know that your feelings are hurt and you feel lonely and maybe a bit lost.

But know that things do happen for a reason. Breaking up is just a hard lesson in the game of love. But in the game there is no winners or losers, you cannot manipulate the game to your advantage. It just is over.


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