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How To Have A Difficult Talk With Him

Updated on October 12, 2010


First you have to know your mate and know there is a time and a place for everything under the sun. Would you have a difficult talk after an argument…? No. If your mate comes home from work already agitated from the day he had, is that time for difficult talk…? No. Why would you have difficult talk over the phone; that’s the cowards’ way out? Look each other face to face.


The way to have a difficult talk is 1) opportunity; 2) setting; 3) timing and most of all talk when the atmosphere is calm. Season your words with salt; meaning you don’t have to cut deep to have difficult talk on a topic. Whatever your issue or concern is; it’s always better spoken with kind words at a time when tempers are calm. When difficult talk is done and deliberate hurtful words are left out, one is able to sit, talk and be reasonable instead of tempers running high, with yelling and screaming, having the only objection to get one or the other’s point across. This means no one is listening.  This being done without caring how hurt or insulted he may be. That’s the wrong way to go about it.


Difficult talk can still be done in a loving and respectful way. This way he will know its not personal attacks; it’s a serious concern or issues you may have. Communication is always very important. However, remember never let issues continue because you don’t want resentment to settle in, have that talk at the right time.


There’s nothing wrong with being respectful, that’s not a sign of weakness that’s a sign of strength and love. Anyone can be nasty and hurtful that’s easy; however, it takes a strong person to control the situation for the positive and to sit and ponder about what’s best for a situation.


Realize women and men are different. A woman wouldn’t talk the same to her girlfriend as she would talk to her mate. If it’s not the right time you will get a negative response. Never unjustly make a person feel like they have to be on the defense or that their back is up against the wall. Learn him and discuss difficult issues the same way you would want to be approached if the shoe was on the other foot. Act with knowledge, knowing the one you love and then talking to them the way you know you can reach the inner him.


Remember, you can always have difficult talk; it just depends on when and how you do it. Know him, love him, respect him and you can have a difficult talk turn into loving easy conversation.  


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      Jen 7 years ago

      Thanks for the tips!