- Gender and Relationships»
How To Have An Enduring Marriage
Simple ways to have a really happy marriage or relationship
If you find yourself wondering what your marriage or relationship is missing, try really listening to how you talk to each other. How often do you say "Thank you" to your spouse or significant other? If you listen closely, you might find that those two words are sorely missing from your shared vocabulary.
My husband may be ten years younger than me, but I realized this Thanksgiving, after nearly ten years of marriage, that we said "Thank you" to each other more than any other couple I have ever been around. I learned this from him. As we say in Texas, "This ain't my first rodeo", but it IS his, and he has taught me so much about a true marriage and what it really takes to have a happy, solid foundation on which to build a life together.
Common courtesy goes a long way. Just the simple act of saying "thank you" when your husband or wife cooks dinner, fixes the car, etc makes the other person feel special. I don't mean just saying it when they do something "special"-I mean getting used to saying it for everyday things like holding the door for you when your hands are full, handing you a cup of coffee, any time your spouse does something that made your day easier or better. I even thank him when we are having a disagreement and he finally agrees with me on some little, silly point I am trying to make !
I haven't always been this way. I was so used to the way things had always been for me in past relationships...the usual great behavior in the beginning, then the "honeymoon" was over and people settle down into everyday life where they get so busy that they begin to take the other person for granted. That's when the "Thank you's" and the "I'm sorry's" go out the window. There is no need for this to happen. Just try an experiment for two weeks. Try telling your husband or wife "Thank you" every time they do even the smallest thing for you. You may start noticing that they are responding to you in a nicer and more caring way. You may also find that they start going out of their way a little more to do more for you.
This isn't a one way experiment, though. You will have to start responding in kind. Start going out of your way to do more for them as well. It doesn't take much, or any heroic acts. Just the simplest things can cause a person to respond to you in a more positive way. Then, hopefully, we can start slowly working, couple by couple, to bring the 52% divorce rate in this country down a bit. Don't you want to start a movement in this country to actually help keep couples together because they actually love each other? I certainly do! Let me know how this works out for you!