ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How To Keep Your Relationship Strong in the Face of Perimenopause- Help for Men

Updated on November 13, 2012

All marriages that last end up facing this one common problem- Perimenopause. Perimenopause is that difficult period in a woman's life before and after menopause. Menopause is that period when a woman's hormones stop functioning and she is no longer able to get pregnant. The period before this happens is that time when her hormones go crazy and you both feel like you are going to go crazy. The period after menopause is that time when your wife no longer has those hormones and can be either calm or just as crazy as Premenopause. So, the question is, how will you both survive this time in life when you both feel like you're losing it? Better yet, how will you make your relationship strong through this time?

Signs of Perimenopause

So, how do you know if your wife is going through perimenopause?

1. Huge mood swings

Now, guys we are not talking about the minor mood swings of PMS. I'm talking mood swings that will drive you insane. One minute you are the best man who ever walked the earth and the next minute you are piece of crap. All that happens within seconds. You are left with your head spinning and wondering how God could expect anyone to go through this. Too, if she isn't mad, she's crying simply because she got a text from someone. Then she's happy because you are so wonderful, then she's mad because you didn't cry with her because she got a text. This time period leaves you longing for the good ole days of PMS.

2. Hot flashes

Guys, be prepared to be frozen to death. Your wife will be majorly hot, then majorly cold. Mostly hot though. You will want a vacation to Antarctica to get away to the warmth. By the way, it will all be your fault.

3. Depression

Your wife will most likely suffer through some serious depression due to the hormone changes going on inside her. She really won't have a reason to be depressed, so you will need to be patient.

4. Sickness and lack of energy

She will get very tired and sleepy, but be up all night. So, you will need to step up and help around the house. Too, she will be sick, but not need a doctor. You will just have to let her rest.

5. Changes in sexual behavior

Due to the hormone changes, your wife may lose her desire and have vaginal dryness, which will cause pain. Be patient. There are therapies for this, but love her through it.

6. Anxiety attacks

Many women experience anxiety attacks due to the hormonal changes. You will need to reassure her and help her calm down through these episodes. Keep in mind that nothing is wrong; she is just going through some major changes.

7. Memory loss

Memory loss is a common symptom of perimenopause. Your wife will say something and forget it two seconds later. You both will probably argue because she is blaming you for something that happened or was said, but she forgot. You will need to simply remind her.

What you can do to keep your relationship strong

As men, we love our wife, but this period of life can really test our love. So, what can you do to keep your relationship with your wife strong as she struggles through this change?

1. Remember who she is

It can be easy at this time to forget the amazing woman that you married. Your wife is still that amazing woman. What your wife is experiencing is not who she is. Who she is is that woman you married. Always keep in mind her amazing qualities that you fell in love with.

2. Be patient and loving

More than anything she need you to love her and be patient with her through this. Walk through this with her. Don't leave her alone. The woman who is normally nurturing, needs to be nurtured. So, give her extra love.

3. Take time for yourself

You will need to get away at times in order to keep from going crazy. Take a day trip, work on a hobby or do something to help distract yourself for a little while. Doing this from time to time will help you keep your cool as you try to love your wife through this difficult time.

4. Be there for her

You will often want to run away or yell at her. Just stay calm and listen. Remember, she doesn't like this anymore than you do. So, be there for her. She has been there for you. It's time to return the favor.

5. Take her on dates

Take her out for a fun and romantic evening. Your goal is to do one thing- Have Fun! You both need the release and she will love you for it. Be her hero. Be her knight in shining armor. It will keep the closeness for both of you.

6. Defend her

At times she will yell at others and create friction with others. You will need to gently tell them what she is going through. Others may not realize the change she is going through, so take time to teach them and defend her.


There it is. There is hope. You both can not only survive menopause, but you can thrive and come out the other side stronger than ever. It will take patience and a whole lot of love. But you can do it. You have it in you. If you follow these steps, you will be amazed how beautiful your relationship can be. If you put yourself out there for your wife, you will discover a man inside of you that you didn't even know existed. It will be very difficult at times to go through this, but if you determine to go through it together, your relationship will take on new meaning.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)