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15 Ways to Know He is the Right Man For You
Is He The Right Man?
"How do I know this is the right man for me?" many women ask themselves when they are in a relationship. There are a few qualities a man should possess which will tell you that he is the right man for you. If he respects your opinion, is not short-tempred, is a good communicator, he shares your values, is a man of peace, and is not excessivley jealous, he is the right guy for you.
How To Know He Is The Right Man For You
He Must Respect Your Opinion
If he respects your point of view on issues and does not try to belittle or disregard your opinions, then you can take your chances with him. Such a man will be more willing to take advice from you and to admit his mistakes when you marry. When a man respects your opinions, it shows that he respects you as a person.
A man who does not respect your opinions is not likely to respect you as a person when you marry. He is more likely to treat you with contempt, which will not make you happy in the relationship.
He Talks About "We" not "Me"
If you want to know if he is the right man for you, you must pay careful attention to his language and pick out certain keywords. One of the keywords you should keep your ears open for is the word “We.” If the man uses “we” a lot when he is conversing with you, as opposed to always saying “Me,” it means he sees you as a part of his future, and that means he can see moving into the future with you. It also implies he is serious about having a stable relationship with you, and you can bank your chances on him being a responsible lover.
He Loves Those You Love
The right man for you will love the people around you, your friends and family, and do his best to be agreeable with them most of the time. He will see them as a part of you, and since he loves you and cares about you, he will be concerned that he does not treat your friends and family in a way that will make you feel he does not love you. If he is not right for you, he will not care about treating your friends and family members anyhow because he will not care about your feelings.
He Will Understand You
The man who is right for you will show that he understands what you want in life. This will create a rapport between the two of you so that you will feel absolutely comfortable in his presence every time. If what you want to do will even cost him, but he gives you the go ahead to do it, he may be the right man for you because he is prepared to sacrifice his desires so that your desires can be fulfilled.
If the man does not understand you and is always insisting you do something opposite to what you want to do or feel will make you happy, he may not be the right man for you.
He Lets You Be Yourself
If the man is comfortable with who you are and says so, and does not try to make you behave in the way he behaves, he may be the right man for you. It shows he is secure about himself and so trusts that you are secure about yourself. The right man for you must feel secure about who he is, and must make you feel secure too.
Does Not Criticize Destructively
A man who really cares about you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you will not tear down your emotions with his words. Even when you do something he hates, he will reprimand you in a respectful and courteous manner, and not be too judgmental.
He Must Be A Man Of Peace
There can never be a relationship without conflicts. Disagreements and quarrels are normal in all relationships. Our nature as human beings causes us to be in conflict internally and externally all the time. Whether or not your marriage will succeed depends to a great extent on how you manage conflicts that will arise in your relationship.
If he disagrees with you without becoming vindictive or violent then you can take your chances with him. He should show a willingness to accept criticisms of his weaknesses and to take practical steps to overcome his failings.
A man of peace is tolerant. He will agree to disagree with you. He may hold onto his viewpoint, but acknowledge that his woman has views and opinions of her own and respect them even when you have quarrels. He will try to develop temporary working arrangements with you when you have fights, instead of assaulting you or stalking out of the house. He will discuss with you alternatives to bring about a termination of hostilities and to enable some form of co-operation. He will show a willingness to compromise, to make concessions so that you will be happy. If your man shows this attitude, he is into you and is the right guy for you.
He Must Not Be Short-Tempered
Observe him very closely. Is he contentious? Is he someone who destroys the peace among people? Then probably, he is not the right person for you.
If he is patient, gentle, kind, and has reasonable control over his temper, he is more likely to resist from assaulting you when you fight. You are more likely to experience happier times with such a man than with a man who is short-tempered.
If the man has a habit of getting angry easily, he will pick quarrels with you often. You will not be happy in such a marriage. And so if a man exhibits such qualities, he is not the right man for you.You have to think twice before giving your heart to him.
One of the foundations on which every good relationship is built is effective communication between the partners. When communication is good, some would-be conflicts are avoided or solved so that they do not affect the relationship adversely.
The man must be able to communicate well with you. If the man engages you in good conversation, encourages you to share your heart with him, then he probably is “Mr. Right.” If he shares his joys, sorrows, and problems sincerely with you, and does not get offended when you do the same, then he is more likely to be a good shoulder to lean on in times of trouble when you marry. It shows that he trusts you.
He should also have the ability to express his affection and appreciation verbally. He should not feel shy to tell you how he feels about you when you ask him. And he should show signs of gratitude when you do things for him. Such a man will appreciate the things you do for him in marriage, and when he appreciates what you do for him, he is more likely to remain faithful to you, and give you a more fulfilling marriage.
The Value Of Values
Do you share the same values with your boyfriend?
He Must Share Your Values
In every community certain values are considered important. Values influence human behavior. Personal values form the basis of an individual’s judgments and decisions and have a deep influence on behavior.
As you grew up and interacted with other people in your community, you built up a set of values. On the basis of such values, you developed likes or dislikes—you place a certain “price tag” on certain things. If, for example, you cherish honesty because that value was inculcated in you when you were young and your man exhibits honesty in all his dealings with you and with his friends, then he is a man worth marrying.
If the man does not share your values, there will be tension in your marriage and that could adversely affect your life together as a couple. If you were brought up to respect God, for example, and the man you are attracted to is not God-fearing but you decide to marry him anyway, do you think you will be able to raise an altar to God in your house if you marry him? Will your partner urge you to do it? How will your children be brought up? Will your partner allow you to bring them up in the fear of God? You will teach them one thing and your partner will teach them the opposite and encourage them to live lives that are not pleasing to God. This is bound to result in conflict and disunity in your marriage. You will never be happy in such a relationship.
The sharing of the same values is of vital importance to the proper operation and functioning of your relationship. When both of you share the same values, it is more likely that you will get things done and experience co-operation in your marriage. Values function as a means of solidarity. Your shared values will be a “rallying point” in your relationship to hold it together.
How You View Jealousy In A Relationship
Do you think jealousy in a man is romantic?
He Must Not Be Excessively Jealous
According to psychologist Sigmund Freud, “Jealousy is one of those affective states, like grief, that may be described as normal.”
Jealousy strikes at everybody. And as everyone can attest to, jealousy is no respecter of persons. But some people find it difficult to handle their feelings of jealousy.
A jealous man will feel threatened by your relationships with other people such as your friends, co-workers, and even your family. If he accuses you of being unfaithful with the people around you or forbids you to see them, you need to re-consider your association with him. Some women mistake this to mean romantic or protective behavior in the initial stages of a relationship, but jealousy can later be used as an excuse for violence. There are many stories of women who have had acid poured on them because their partner suspected them of having an affair. Other women have been murdered by jealous spouses.
If your man can keep reasonable control over his jealousy and does not embarrass you when he sees you with another man, or is not overbearing and controlling, then he is the right man for you and you can take your chances with him and hope everything turns out well.
Use Common Sense
God has furnished us with commonsense and He expects us to use it. Sometimes, the choosing of a lover all boils down to your own preference. You can exercise your own intelligent choice in many matters, including knowing whether a guy is the right man for you. Use your ability to think to weigh the facts, remind yourself of the man’s behavior towards you generally, analyze situations and judge if you think you will be comfortable with him for the rest of your life, and make a worthwhile decision.
Ask Friends and Family
- When you are caught up in a relationship and the hormones are making you feel so affectionate towards the man, you may be blinded to obvious things that show that you may not be compatible. Other people who are not romantically involved can spot these things and tell you about them.
- If you are in a relationship with a man and you do not know whether he is the right man for you or not, do not be ashamed to ask the opinion of your parents , siblings, cousins, or friends. They may spot whether the two of you make a good team or not.
- If you are lucky to have your grandmother alive and she is living where she can see you with the man regularly, ask her to observe the man and tell you. Grandmothers are good at spotting such things.
Listen to the "Inner Voice"
If you are close to God, He reveals things to you, and sometimes warns you of danger when He sees you heading in a direction that could lead to your destruction. Sometimes you feel an inner urging of an undefinable nature, an urging that you just cannot shake off. You just feel that, “This man is right for me!” or “This man is not the right man for me!” Try as you might to shake off this feeling, or to forget that thought, you just cannot get rid of the feeling or thought that the man is right for you. You may not understand why you feel that way, and know the reason for the feeling, but you are aware of that feeling. On some occasions, God leads His children in this way to make right decisions.
So, if you keep thinking that he is the right man for you, and you keep hearing a voice repeating those words in your mind, it is likely the man is the right person for you.
The Bible says in James 1:5 that, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God.” When you are confronted with a decision that requires an unusual amount of wisdom, such as knowing whether a man is the right man for you, you can always seek God’s help. As you continue to pray about it, God often instills in your heart an increasing sense of whether he is the right man or not for you.
- A friend told me once of a girl who looked so attractive and who he was interested in. After praying about it and asking God to reveal the woman’s nature to him, he started having strange dreams about her, and this made him break up with her. Later, she exhibited terrible nature, was so disrespectful to a guy she got into a relationship with that they broke up eventually, and my friend was grateful he had prayed about the situation!
- Do not look at only the physical appearance of the man, or think he is such a great guy because he appears so romantic. He may just be doing that to win you, and after that reveal his true nature. But God can expose him if he is acting. So, ask for God’s help to know the man. You can pray a prayer such as, “Dear God, I am attracted to Ike and want to have a relationship with him. He appears to be a gentleman, but I do not know what is really in his heart. Please reveal his true nature to me. Help me to get to know his real character. Let him unconsciously reveal his real nature to me so that I will know whether to enter into this relationship with him, or quit. I am counting on your help, Lord, and know you will answer me. Thank you for answering my prayer. Amen.”
- As happened in the case of my friend, God will reveal the man’s true nature to you so that you will know whether he is genuine, or a fake.
Which Qualities Does Your Current Boyfriend Have?
© 2015 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio