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How To Let Go Of a Relationship

Updated on June 1, 2010

When a relationship comes to an end, it can be difficult to know how to let go of it and move on. However difficult it may be, there are certain situations in which continuing to be emotionally invested in a relationship that is failing or has already broken down can cause a lot of heartache and distress. Whether you are "the other woman" who is waiting for her lover to leave his partner, or are continually reuniting with a partner who lets you down and treats you with little or no respect, learning to let go of a bad relationship is vital for your self-esteem and self-worth. 

Break contact

If you are still in contact with your ex-partner, you should make a concerted effort to break the ties. You cannot make a clean break from a relationship unless you do this, as he or she will still be in your life (and affecting your emotions). This can be one of the hardest steps to take as it seems so final, but you cannot truly let go of a relationship until you do so. 

Stop torturing yourself

Many people frequently torture themselves after a break-up, but this is rarely the best course of action. Analysing what went wrong and whether you were to blame for the relationship turning sour will only cause more distress. As difficult as it may be, you need to accept that mistakes were probably made on both sides. 

Learn to trust again

When you have been let down by an ex-partner, it can be difficult to trust again. It is only natural that you should want to protect yourself against a repeat performance, but this will only hinder the healing process. Experts suggest that refusing to trust again is also an indication that you are afraid of involving yourself in a relationship if you cannot control its outcome. Accepting that even in the best of relationships, you will sometimes experience hurt and pain is a key part of learning to trust again.

Letting go of a relationship can be painful and traumatic, but you need to do so before you can regain control of your life. It is worth reminding yourself of the fact that you were a complete person before you entered into the relationship, and there is no reason why you cannot be that person again in the future once you have successfully let go of the relationship.


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    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

      After my divorce I found and still find it very hard.