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How to Make Friends and Get People to Do Things

Updated on July 12, 2017
Paul Kuehn profile image

Life has been a great teacher for me. I have learned more from my various jobs and experiences with people than from books.

Adults Making Friends


The Importance of Friends

We are social animals so it is human nature for people to want to have friends. Friends are people who understand you because they share your same interests. You can also count on friends for assistance and sympathy in times of need. Not everyone, however, has friends or a lot of them. This is undoubtedly due to the introverted nature of some people and their lack of self-confidence. Based on my experiences in life, I would like to suggest some ways to make friends and how to get people do things for you.

Making Friends

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Tips on How to Make Friends And Get People to Do Things

Making friends is the hardest thing for some people to do. Due to my innate introverted personality, it was hard for me to make friends, too, until I started adopting the following measures which I will explain as tips for making friends and influencing people to do things for you:

1. Feel Good About Yourself and Express Self-Confidence: If you don't like or love yourself, how can you like or love others? Perhaps you don't like yourself because you are too heavy and have body odor. If that's the case, lose weight and get rid of the body odor. It will make you feel a lot better about yourself and also give you self-confidence when interacting with other people.

2. Force Yourself To Be Outgoing: Since most people look out for themselves first, they are not going to be that eager to reach out and ask you to be a friend. For that reason, you can not be shy or afraid to talk to people. Earlier in my life, I wasn't successful as a real estate agent because I was afraid to contact people with cold calling. The other agents who were quite extroverted and had the gift of gab were able to reach out to clients and get the listings which I was unable to get.

3. Smile: Why is a dog man's best friend? It's simple. A dog is always smiling and projecting itself to be very friendly to people. If you want to show people that you are approachable to them, you must smile and it should be sincere. I have always felt more at ease with people who frequently smile when they talk with me.

4. Give People Compliments: Everyone likes to hear good sincere things about themselves. It makes people feel good about themselves. When meeting a person for the first time, you might give compliments such as: "I just love your dress." or "You have really done a good job with your garden."

5. Call a Person by His or Her Name: Did you know that a person's name is the most important word a person likes to hear? When you meet a person, learn his or her name, and then use it often when you talk with the person. I guarantee the person will be very happy.

6. Find Out a Person's Interests: Most people are only interested in themselves; therefore, it is necessary for you to find out the other person's interests and talk about them. You'll be surprised how much people like to talk about themselves. While the other person is talking, you should be a good listener and not talk too much.

7. Mimic A Person's Speech and Body Language: You can do this by imitating a person's pronunciation and rate of speech, facial expressions, and gestures. This should not be done, however, to ridicule a person who for example has a lisp. The other person will probably not even know you are mimicking him or her; however, you will be subtlely connecting with the person.

8. Make a Person Feel Important: While you are talking with a person about their interests, don't be afraid to make comments to show how important their work is or how well-qualified they are to do their work

9. Get a Person to Agree with You by Showing That Something Is in His or Her Interest: Let's say that a person is quite good at planting trees; however, he is reluctant to come over to your house tomorrow to help you plant a tree. You could get him to help you by saying something like this: "John, I know that you are an expert in planting trees by just looking at your garden. You like planting trees, don't you?" John will probably answer yes, and then you could say, "I know you would really enjoy helping me plant this cherry tree tomorrow."

If you don't develop self-confidence and get rid of shyness, you will never make friends. Try out the nine tips above and you'll be on your way to making friends and being expert at how to make people do things for you.

© 2011 Paul Richard Kuehn


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    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      These are useful techniques for overcoming one's own shyness or introversion and reaching out to make connections with other people. As long as we are genuine and sincere in our desire to build healthy friendships, these are helpful approaches. SHARING

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 5 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      Thank you very much for the favorable comments and sharing.

    • profile image

      web promotion 5 years ago

      That was some interesting stuff here on Thanks for posting it.

    • Emmanuel Kariuki profile image

      Emmanuel Kariuki 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Good tips Paul. I find I fluctuate between extrovert and introvert, can't be sure which one is the real me. I recommend keeping these tips in view all the time for those seriously wanting to get ahead - shared.

    • profile image

      vonda g nelson 4 years ago

      Hi Paul....#7 is tricky.... people won't be so fond of a person pretending to connect on false pretenses. When dealing with someone that knows how to read between the lines they may just see you for who you are (and maybe take it as an insult) rather than entertain you. There is no need to be subtle, I think people that are genuine would rather genuine behavior....if my mind doesn't deceive me I think this may be the case.

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand


      Thank you very much for reading and your good comments. You are correct. People should not pretend to connect on false pretenses.

    • profile image

      vonda g nelson 4 years ago

      No problem Paul, you have a great attitude! If the truth be told I didn't think you would allow my post, but you did so it's all good..... Best of wishes to you and yours.....CiaO

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      Thanks for the regards. Best of wishes to you, too, Vonda.

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 4 years ago from Pune, India

      Great tips on making new friends, and influence them. Shared with followers.

    • Mike Spain profile image

      Mike Spain 4 years ago from USA

      neat tips thanks for sharing

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand


      Thanks for reading and your comments! I appreciate you sharing this hub.

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      Thanks for reading and your comments, Mike.

    • ishwaryaa22 profile image

      Ishwaryaa Dhandapani 4 years ago from Chennai, India

      An engaging hub with helpful points. If one is interested in making friends, one should overcome one's shyness just as you rightly mentioned. Well-done!

      Thanks for SHARING. Useful & Interesting. Voted up & shared

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand


      Thank you very much for reading this hub. I have been a somewhat shy, introverted person for much of my life. Now that I am older, I am much more extroverted, especially after coming here to Thailand to teach. I appreciate your votes, comments, and sharing.

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 4 years ago from North Texas

      I've been pretty successful in sales and customer service, but my outgoing personality has limits and eventually I get tired of putting on a facade. Not many people have the same interests I do. If you look at my selection of hubs you'll see more nerdy things than girly things.

      Calling me by name will not endear you. I hate my name and always have. If I pick up the phone and someone calls me by my given name I know immediately it's most likely a telemarketer or someone I don't want to talk to. There's a good chance I'll hang up the phone on the spot.

      But for normal people ;) this list of things to do in order to make friends seems great. Voted up and will share.

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      Thanks for your honest comments on this hub. I think I can understand how you feel.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Very useful tips for sure, Paul and you have done a great service for such people who find it difficult to make friends in the first instance.

      I think a smile connects people instantly because it sends positive vibes but of course in the right situation.

      Voting this up, useful, interesting. Shared and tweeted as well.

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand


      I'm happy you liked this hub. Dale Carnegie has written a great book on this subject. It is called "How to Win Friends and Influence People." I have borrowed some of his ideas for this article. I appreciate you sharing and tweeting this hub.

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 3 years ago from Pune, India

      Very true. following these things will surely gives us a lot of friends.

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 3 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand


      Thank you very much for reading and commenting on this hub. Showing a genuine interest in others is the first step in making friends.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 2 years ago from sunny Florida

      Yes, Friends are little treasures and I have among my friends Angels (and reading my hubs you know how special they are to me.) On your little poll I would have checked 'all of these' had that been a choice as I think it is a combination of things that allows us to make friends and for it to be a true friendship those behaviors should be two way.

      Well said Paul.

      And even though it would not seem possible I have friends here on HubPages even though I may never meet them face to face.

      Angels are on the way to you this

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 2 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      Yes, I should have added the choice "all of these" on my little poll. You are correct in pointing out that it is a combination of things that allows us to make friends and that friendship is a two way street. Keep sending your angels. I will need them in the near future.

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