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How To Prevent Anger From Impeding Your Happiness
"For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness," said Ralph Waldo Emerson. Very often, anger works against us, causing a lot of pain. But you may say that you have been pushed so far that you have been forced to get angry. But when you are angry, there may be a number of psychological and physiological effects. Your stomach may tighten up and you may start sweating and trembling. Instead of acting, you may be reacting.
Experts have named this as what is known as the "survival mode." The situation may cloud your judgment and so, your response may be wild. Once you cool down, you may feel ashamed and may start wondering how you have messed up the whole situation.
Anger is an emotion and this emotion is your response to either an action or a thought. Though the trigger for this emotion is mostly external, it is through the lens of our interpretation we see the external situation. Unfortunately, the color of this lens varies from person to person depending upon their unique mental concepts such as good and evil, likes or dislikes, right or wrong, mine or yours and so on. Since interpretations differ, conflicts are bound to be there. The main triggers for anger are greed and concepts like mine or yours. When we think we deserve more money, respect, etc. and if we do not get them, we get angry. In fact, the concept of mine or yours is what causes the issue of possessiveness in couples.
Some of the results of anger are feelings of pain, unfairness and loss, indulging in blame game and loss of focus. These things may negatively impact our adrenal glands as well as our immune system. In women, when their adrenal glands are negatively impacted, their reproductive organs may get affected also.
How You Can Overcome Anger
Change Your Physical Position
Experts say that if you change your physical position, you can bring the emotion of anger under control. One of the ways is to move your eyes away by looking up instead of looking down. You can stand up, stretch, let out a sigh and change the facial expression. You can move away from the scene and go near the window to bask in the sunlight. You can also jump ten times or poke fun at yourself by dancing ridiculously. Massaging the neck at the back with a hand and singing may also do the trick.
Write Down What You Want
Assess the situation you are in and write down what you want. This will help you focus on the end goal you are aiming at. While writing your end goal, you must be realistic, clear and specific. You must specify the exact date when you want to achieve the goal. Whenever your anger is triggered, you must shift your thoughts towards this end goal.
Use The Right Language
If you use negative words like no, not or don't, your subconscious mind will focus only on things you may hate to have. So, you must avoid using these words. For example, you must not say "I don't want to suffer." Instead, you must say "I want to be happy always."
Replace The Emotion Of Anger With Positive Thoughts
As you eliminate darkness by lighting a lamp, you must replace the emotion of anger with positive thoughts. If you always remember your end-goal, you will find it easy to divert your mind. You must practice this habit.
Keep Watching Your Thoughts
If you keep a close watch on your thoughts, you will gradually learn that your identity is different from your thoughts. Not only that, you will also learn that regardless of how you behave, the world will move on. So, align with the course of the universe and surrender to it. If you do not learn this concept, you may get angry over non-issues and this may lead to suffering.
Be With Positive People
If you keep away negative influencers, you can certainly succeed in controlling your anger. This means you must choose to stay only with positive people. Even when you are in a messy situation, you will be able to draw from their inner energy or strength so you can surmount the situation.
Write A Gratitude Journal
Take a piece of paper and start expressing your gratitude for all the things you have. This should include your physical and mental abilities, relationships and friendships, experiences and material possessions. This exercise will help shift your mind away from the negative situation you may be in.
This has been becoming highly popular in the recent times. You will not be able to laugh when you are angry or upset. Conversely, when you laugh, you cannot be angry or upset. So, you can make use of this therapy.
In addition to the above steps, you can practice meditation, breathing exercises and relaxation techniques for controlling your anger.