ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How To Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up

Updated on February 21, 2020
yogaburnclub profile image

Belinda is a psychologist and relationship writer. Passionate about relationships and how to make them work. Let's connect on LinkedIn

Source

It's not your fault.

That your relationship has hit a bump.

It can happen to anyone.

At the beginning of your relationship. None of you can hold back each other's emotions. This is because of your newly found friend and lover.

*yeah, I know*

You can't get over of how smart, cute or funny your partner is. You spent all day, every minute thinking about your new catch. You are all convinced that this is the love you have all been waiting for.

You know that feeling, don't you?

Slowly but steady your relationship starts to experience problems. When the first signs of trouble arise. You decide to push them below the carpet. And not dealing with them heads on. It doesn't take long before you start fighting one another.

Well?

Even the best couples are sometimes faced with serious issues in their relationship.

*yep*

While problems are normal in a relationship. The way we address them can either make or break your union.

In this post, I will show you how you can fix your relationship problem without breakup.

Let's dive in, shall we?

Source

How Do You Know Your Relationship is Not Right?

Let's face it.

When you are newly coupled up, we look at our partners as angels. They are loving, funny. We want to spend most of our time together.

We always overlook small matters. He shies to introduce you to his immediate family? okay, it will happen whenever it happens. When she has a tendency of leaving dirty shoes and utensils scattered all over the house? It's just a small thing. You will sort this out and perfectly tidy the house.

The challenge begins when you get real in your relationship. There are some issues that are too serious to be overlooked. They are so serious that can even break your relationship.

What are some of these red flags that may raise concern in your relationship?

Let's find out in a moment.

When there is constant jealousy.

It's not a surprise that infidelity is the major cause of relationship breakup. Jealousy can originate from one person but most likely it's a feeling that involves both of you.

You always wonder what your partner is up to when you are not around. You worry when she talks to another guy. She even worries more when you mention another woman. Always in a suspicious mind.

That kind of energy in a relationship is usually draining as well as limiting freedom to both of you. You can't go on together as long as you have doubts about each other.

It needs to be addressed or otherwise, it will overturn your relationship.

Source

When in a high conflict relationship

You fight a lot.

When anger and bad temper cripples your relationship. You sometimes go physical.

No matter what. It seems that the two of you can't even do the simplest thing without making it a big deal.

Let's face it.

Constant fighting contributes to one-third of breakups. I know you Still love your partner and would like to stay together. But “hell no” you don't want the fights.

Having a healthy relationship does not guarantee zero conflicts. It means embracing better communication skills. Counseling, anger management, and meditation are some of the recommendations that will end the constant fights.

When you get bored.

Getting bored is almost inevitable in a relationship. If you settle for a routine there is a high chance you will get bored. The question is not whether boredom will or not happen. The big question is how you deal with it when it happens.

Life should be much more fun and rewarding. You should aim to feel excited and stimulated. In a relationship where you spend a lot of time together in everyday situations. You are likely to get bored.

Many boring relationships that go unfixed can lead to a breakup. How then do you break the boredom? This is by doing something new and exciting together this can be.

  • Taking a trip around the world.

  • Attending a dance class together

  • Go rent a hotel and party all weekend.

  • Exploring a new city that you have never before. It doesn't have to be far.

Plan to do new and exciting things together. It doesn't matter if it's eating sushi or bungee jumping. The point is that you need to introduce novelty in your relationship. It's not hard, make it simple you will have so many ideas to choose from.

Source

When there are changes in your sex life.

When your sex life is seriously lacking. Or it has become boring. It's time to rethink as it can end up in a breakup.

A relationship should not be all about sex, but it needs to be somewhat about sex. If your sex life is not as it used to be it doesn't mean that you can't do anything about it. You have to accept the inevitable and be ready for it.

What can cure a sex life that is not working? You need to try new things in the bedroom. Open a frank conversation about your new sex life with your partner. Make it fun but not heavy.

Try a sex therapist see the new tricks that they recommend. Attend a BDSM workshop, try tantric sex. Maybe this can manufacture new chemistry in your love life better than before.

The point is to try and have a meaningful connection. Trust me even if you love one another and totally on a different page when it comes to sex. Neither of you is going to be happy. You need a sexual connection for a long-lasting relationship.

When one is trying to change the other partner.

No one likes it when someone wants to change them. We all have different gifts and talents. Trying to change your partner to be you may cause stress. It can also cause resentment which is toxic.

If your partner is controlling your time with your family, friends or even finances, makeup or even clothes that you wear. This is something to take very seriously in your relationship.

Accept that you are not the same. Your difference is what makes dating and relationship exciting. Accept them the way they are. One reason for the breakup is when one cannot let the other person be themselves.

Ask yourself if you still love her. Was she right when you first met? Was she exactly what you were looking for? If you are still finding faults you need to consider maybe you are being judgemental. Maybe you have unrealistic high demand and standard that you are projecting to other people. Look and evaluate if you are the problem.

Source

What are The Top Relationship Problems?

No matter how ‘perfect’ your relationship is. There will always be some frustration that crops up from time to time. It's good to know about top relationship problem. This will make it easier to deal with them.

Want to know more?

Bet yes.

Here is a list of 10 relationship problems that affect most couples.

  1. Lack of trust

  2. Jealousy and insecurity

  3. Boundary problems

  4. Physical abuse

  5. Cheating

  6. Lack of unity

  7. Intimacy

  8. Finance

  9. Poor time management

  10. Miscommunication

When you identifying the nature of your problem. You are some step closer to solving it.

How Do You Fix Relationship Problems?

Even though every relationship has its up and down. Successful couples have learned to manage issues and keep their love life going strong.

They don't give up they learn how to solve complex day to day life issues. They face their issues head-on. The final reward is that their relationship becomes stronger.

But how do you fix a relationship problem?

That's difficult, isn't it?

Well?

Here are 7 solutions that will fix your souring relationship.

Source

Communication

When there is little or no communication. Your relationship is doomed to fail. How can you improve communication with your partner?

Make an actual appointment with each other. If you live together keep all the distractions away. cell phones, TVs, put the kids to bed. Have time to talk to each other. If this cannot be done without raising your voice. Look for a public spot a library, restaurant or park where you will feel embarrassed when people see you screaming.

Set up rules. To not interrupt your partner until they finish talking. Ban phrases like “ You always….” or “You never…..”

Use body language that shows you are listening. Nodding will show the other person you are getting the message. Do not keep looking at your watch or picking your nails. This shows you are ignorant on the conversation.

Sex problem

Sex is supposed to bring us close together. Releasing hormones that help our bodies both mentally and physically. It's the chemistry that keeps a healthy couple healthy.

But not having is one of the last things you should give up on. How do you address lack of sexual awareness in a relationship?

Planning for sex on your calendar increases your anticipation. Make sex more fun by turning things up,why not have sex in the kitchen? Do it while standing near a fireplace or along the hallway.Learn what turns your partner on.

If you can't solve your sexual problem by yourself consult a sex therapist who will help both of you resolve the issue.

Source

Money problems

Even before before you exchange your wedding vows,You may have experienced money problems. Partners are advised to have a serious conversation on their finances.

Be honest of your current finance situation. Strive to have a realistic lifestyle that will not be too costly for both of you. Set appropriate time to discuss your finances. Avoid discussion in a threatening condition that may lead to a heated battle.

Accept that one partner may be a spendthrift while the other is a saver. Understand there are benefits of both and discuss to strike a balance.

Don't hide dept and income documents. Share and discuss recent credit reports,bank statement, insurance policies ,investments and dept. Try to be as open as possible.

Develop a joint budget that will include saving and shared responsibilities of paying the monthly bills. Allow each party to set some money aside to spend on his or her own. Have both long term and short term financial goals both as an individual and as a family. Talk about caring for your aging parents. Discuss the financial needs they may be required.

Building trust

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Avoid unresolved issues that may trigger mistrust in your relationship. How then can you develop trust with your partner. Here are tips to help you improve your trust.

  • Be sensitive to your partner's feeling

  • Do what you say you will do.

  • Even in an argument try to be fair.

  • Respect your partner's boundaries

  • Be a good listener.

  • Don't overreact when things go wrong.

  • Avoid digging up old wounds

  • Avoid being jealous

  • Avoid lies -try to be true even with the little white lies.

Source

Struggling with home chores

Most partners have more than one job and mostly work outside the home. This becomes a big challenge in addressing home chores.It's fairly important to divide home chore not to overburden one person.

Trying to address the issue by writing all home tasks down and agree who is to do what. Be fair so that to avoid resentments.

If both of you hate house work. Be open to other solutions you can engage home cleaning services. If both of you like the home chores divide the work amongst yourself. One can do laundry while the other works on the backyard.

Dealing with conflict

Occasionally conflict is part of relationship life. How do you avoid the toxic routine of conflict in your relationship. You can take a calm look and lessen the anger even if you have underlying issues.

Learn how to argue in a more civilized and helpful manner. Realize that you are not a victim and it's your choice you react the way you react.

When in the midst of an argument be honest to yourself are your comments geared towards solving the conflict. If they are heartful and blaming its good to have a different approach.

Do not always jump to defend yourself before your partner has finished speaking. Hold off for sometime and listen you will realize how this can change the whole tone in an argument.

You cannot control everyone's behaviour the best is to change yours. Learn to apologize when you are wrong. You know its hard but try it it may work magic when trying to resolve a conflict.

Source

Making your relationship a priority

If you want to keep your love life going,give your relationship the first priority. Many forget once they say i do but this should not be your case.

Do things that you used to do when you were dating. Complement one another ,show appreciation and show interest to each other like you did on the first day.

Plan night dates together. Schedule time together for important life events .Learn to respect one another. Always say ‘thank you’ even for the little things that your partner does. Let you partner know that he or she matters a lot in your life.

Don't Breakup Fix The Problem

Breakup is not the solution. Don't think that your partner will meet all your needs. Don't think that your partner has supernatural power to figure out what is happening to you without telling them.

A perfect in relationship is only seen on TV series what I call a Hollywood fantasy…..of course they only act the best part of their relationship.

Be willing to address issues in your relationship .Don't think that breakup is the ultimate solution. Don't think you will be better with someone else .Unless you address the underlying issues of trust,money,conflict and sex.

If the problem keeps coming back and have reached a point where your inner lights are going off.(even if they going off softly) then it's time to take a step back give it a break. Finally if all of these do not work out. Then it's time to quite and breakup.

Do you have issues that you are facing in your relationship. Tell us why you have have not broken up with your partner. What you think about it .Share all these in the comment section.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • yogaburnclub profile imageAUTHOR

      Belinda 

      13 months ago from Kenya

      Thanks, Dashingscopio for your comment. Many people rush through the courtship period. Recently we have seen people meet for two weeks, they fall in love and boom plan a big wedding. What they don't know its a long journey that has just begun.

      My advice its to take your time to learn your partner. Learn his or her demons. Learn how you can bear with them.

      I agree with you that this is not the case. It used to happen but not with this generation Z......

      Thanks for stoping by

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      13 months ago from Chicago

      "When you are newly coupled up, we look at our partners as angels. They are loving, funny. We want to spend most of our time together.

      We always overlook small matters. He shies to introduce you to his immediate family? okay, it will happen whenever it happens. When she has a tendency of leaving dirty shoes and utensils scattered all over the house? It's just a small thing. You will sort this out and perfectly tidy the house."- This very true!

      Inexperienced daters tend to commit or believe they've met their "soulmate" during the {infatuation/honeymoon phase} of a new relationship. Generally it may take 3-6 months for people to reveal their "authentic selves". Once someone knows you're emotionally invested they feel "safe" enough to make demands and layout their expectations without the fear you will instantly walk away.

      Suddenly you find out things you thought they liked or enjoyed they were just pretending in order not to "blow it" with you.

      We must learn to enjoy the infatuation/honeymoon phase without allowing ourselves to become too emotionally invested.

      As important as compatibility is what will make or break a relationship is whether or not you can deal with each other's differences and how each of you behaves when things do not go (your) way.

      It's somewhat ironic that two strangers who know nothing about each other do not have any "communication problems" until after they've been together for a while.

      It's almost like moving to a new city and never getting lost until after you've lived there for a year. One would think the longer you have been with someone the easier it would be to get along.

      Sadly however the truth is in the beginning when two people are attracted to each other they both bend over backwards to impress each other and avoid doing or saying anything which might "blow it" with the object of their affection. They make each other's happiness a priority!

      Once they have each other on the hook sort of speak that's when they will boldly come out. It can feel like a total "bait & switch".

      Nevertheless I believe the key is to be true to yourself!

      If cheating or verbal abuse was a "deal breaker" for you before you got into this relationship don't let your feelings or time invested in a relationship cause you to compromise your beliefs.

      Going along to get along will never lead to happiness.

      There is no amount of "work" or "communication" which can overcome being with someone who does NOT want what you want.

      If you or your mate has to change your "core being" in order to make a relationship work it probably means you are with the "wrong person".

      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

      The goal is find someone who (already is) what you want.

      Ideally you want to have a "soulmate" and not a cellmate.

      A breakup is a public admission a mistake was made in someone's mate selection/screening process.

      Human beings make mistakes!

      (Including when it comes to choosing a mate or spouse)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)