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Smart Girls Guide: How To Get Started Dating Online

Updated on October 21, 2008

Your friends do online dating, their friends do online dating, now you are looking to join the world of online dating too. Finding love online is becoming more popular then meeting people at bars. The majority of us just aren't into the bar scene and all that great conversation to be had there, let alone have time for it. Finding love online we can find time for.

But how to get started? There are countless online dating sites, classifieds, message boards, and chat rooms. What will work for you depends on what you are comfortable with. You can post a personal profile on one of the more popular dating sites or post a personal on a dating classified site. The key to finding the dates is to put your personal profile or personal ad on a site that will reach single men in your area. Single men that you could actually meet in person this week.

First, understand that finding love online will not happen overnight. You could line up dates right away, that part is quite easy. Just like with any other method of meeting people, the person you meet may not be your soul mate. Have an open mind and remember the trick to successfully finding love online starts with getting to know more then one person. Until you find that loving committed relationship, whether in the stage of sending e-mails back and forth, talking in IM or by phone, or dating in person, there is nothing wrong with getting to know a few guys at once.

Your First Impression Is Your Photo. Make It A Good One.

You've already made the descion to jump into the online dating scene and pursure the opprtunuity to meet someone. Good for you. Before you get started, get yourself ready. You wouldn't go out a normal date without looking in the mirror right? Approach online dating the same way.

Online dating differs from real world dating because your first encounter with guys isn't face to face. Where it is the same is when it comes to being visually presentable. Part of online dating is sharing photos of yourself. Physical attraction is important to everyone. You do not have to be supermodel beautiful, but you do need to show a picture of yourself that will not have the tag line "boring old me".

Get a haircut, try out some new make-up, and starting using your digital camera to take photo's of yourself. Try different lighting, different rooms, outdoor, indoor, etc. Make sure your picture is a head shot, far away photos will not do.

Once you have 20 or so pictures, pick your best. This will be your your profile photo for your personal ad. This can also be the photo you used to e-mail to guys when answering their personal ads.

Should I Post a Personal or Answer His?

I strongly encourage to other women that you post your own personal.

You should feel free to answer a man's personal ad if he strikes your fancy and you think you may have something in common. But for the majority consider this. Do you want to go to the men, or do you want the men to come to you?

Putting up your own personal does not say "look at me I'm single and desperate". Done right your personal should say about you "I have a great life. I'm single and looking to meet a new man to have a great time with me"

When your the one placing the personal it puts the dating game to your advantage. You've put out there to all the eligible guys that your are available and looking to date. Now they must get in touch with you directly and try to be that e-mail that sticks out amongst the many others.

Give The Right Guys Your Number

Not long after posting your personal the e-mails will start coming in. Do not e-mail them back right away. Give each a day or so. Remember you are very busy in your great life. Go through the mail and highlight the ones you are interested in. It's your personal choice but I recommend a thanks but no thanks e-mail to those you just aren't interested in.

Don't delete any of the e-mails, just file away. You may not suceed the first round of responses. Having a record of who e-mailed you will help you keep track of which guys are serial personal ad responders. Some guys create generic responses and e-mail them to every girl that is available.

The ones you are interested in do a little online research on before e-mailing them back or giving them a phone call. You can find out very quickly that some guys just aren't what they seem with just a few google searches. . Type their name, screenname and e-mail address in google search. Entering it in myspace.com may turn up some interesting results as well. I've gone into more detail on this HERE

Anyone that seems like they would be great for a date, write them back. Do not call! Include your phone number with your response back to them if your ready. Just like you wanted them to answer your ad, you want them to call you as well. Because you do not want random guys calling you at all hours I would suggest setting up a time.. ";I'll be up till 10ish if you want to give me a call"; or I get off work around 6 call me anytime after 7";

Good Luck

Writing Up That Personal Ad

Whether it is your personal ad or your personal profile, what you put here is going to make or break it for you when it comes to getting a guys interest. Keep in mind these tips when putting together your personal profile, or your personal ad

1. Sell Yourself!

No, do not put a price up, that would be a whole different adventure. By selling yourself I mean market your strengths, your hobbies, the best things about you in your personal. Countless personal ads and personal profiles have easy to spot reasons why they aren't getting the responses. Unlike men, we women tend to downplay the best about us and tell all about the things that are not so great about us. Why do we do this? Most men don't. They do the opposite, they do it right.

Proof read your personal ad or personal profile and DELETE anything in it that would suggest you have anything but self confidence, high self esteem, and a good self worth. Let them find out that you snore, or that you aren't crazy about your butt after they meet you. Guys are not sharing with you that they would honestly rather play video games 8 hours a day then go on a picnic so why do you have to divulge it all right away? You don't.

2. Honesty

While I fully encourage leaving out the negative, I also want to stress the importance of honesty of the positive. Do not put in your personal ad or personal profile anything about yourself that is not true. If you have the mindset that "oh, I can come clean with him later" remember that when he finds out you weren't truthful, he may question everything else about you and it could ruin your dating experience.

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