How To Stay Safe with a Guy during a Date
© by Jennifer McLeod writing as jenjen0703, all rights reserved.
So, He Asked You Out...
You're out with your friends at a nightclub you visit sometimes, and this guy you've been noticing walks over to talk to you. He introduces himself and asks your name. Within a few minutes of conversation, you discover he is educated with a career, appears to be financially stable, and he is quite attractive. Sounds good, right?
Suddenly, he asks you if you would like to go out on a date in the future and could he have your phone number. What do you say? How do you respond to this gorgeous man? Should you give him your phone number? Should you go out on a date with him? You want to give him a chance to see if he could be "the soul mate" you have been searching for.
These questions are worth considering, even before "that guy" asks you out. If you set the rules in your life according to a certain code of moral ethics, you will have less difficulties when "that guy" asks you out. Is it possible to date and keep yourself safe at the same time?
10 Safe Dating Tips
Keep yourself safe on those first few dates by following the following tips:
- Drive your own car. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation and need to get away from your date quickly, you have a way out. This will also keep you from having to tell him where you live.
- Stay sober. This does not mean that you cannot drink, but limit your drinks to 1 or 2, depending on how long you are at your destination. Staying sober allows you to be legally able to leave the location and drive your car without fear of legal penalization. Also, do not accept drinks from your date if he buys them himself and brings them to you. Only accept drinks directly from the waitress or bartender. This reduces the chance your date can slip drugs into your drink. Also, do not leave your drink alone with your date. For information on date rape drugs, I have included a section describing those drugs.
- Do not reveal your home phone number or address. Certain personal contact information should stay private until you get to know your date better. Looks can be deceiving, and the last thing you need on your hands is a stalker or serial rapist showing up at your home. Giving him your cell phone is safer because you can always change your number if you need to, and it is an unlisted number.
- Take time to get to know your date. Before moving forward with your date, take time to get to know him. Go out on several dates with him, talk to him through text messages or the computer while you are waiting to decide when it is safe to reveal more personal information. You do not have to jump into bed with him on your first, second, or third date. Taking your time helps to weed out the losers because a good man will wait and want to get to know you and wait for sexual involvement.
- Listen to your gut instinct. If you are uncomfortable, in any way, it is OK to leave the date and go home. If your gut instinct is telling you that something is wrong, it is best to listen to it. Do not force yourself to stay in a compromising situation because you are afraid you will hurt his feelings and make him mad. If the situation has made you fearful, do not hesitate to "fake a phone call from your mother saying she had a heart attack and you have to go..." If your protecting yourself from possible danger means you have to tell a lie, then do what you have to do.
- Consider double dating and group dating. Let your best friend and her date tag along with you and this new guy. This helps to avoid unnecessary sexual tension and potential disasters because you have somebody else watching your back.
- Pay your own way. It is old school thinking that men should pay for the date. But today, many men like to expect sexual favors for paying for a date. Paying your own pay will help to eliminate that issue.
- Dress appropriately. If you want to have a successful date, do not show up wearing the bare minimal for clothing. This will send the wrong message to your date and open doors to putting yourself in a compromising situation. You can dress nice but tastefully.
- No means no! If your date becomes too sexually aggressive or starts touching you, and you tell him to stop, then he should stop. Get the facts on sexual abuse. In all reality, if he was a real man, he would not put you in that position to begin with. If he becomes pushy and does not respect your wishes, then leave. You do not have to stay and take that abuse. Just leave. Hey, you drove your own car, remember? If you did not drive yourself, consider calling 9-1-1 for help.
- Have fun! I don't think I need to elaborate on this one. It is self-explanatory.
Date Rape Drugs and their Side Effects
Date rape drugs are powerful and can render a victim helpless. These drugs are used to commit sexual assault and can cause the victim to be become weak and confused or pass out. This causes the victim to be unable to refuse sex or defend themselves.
The three most common rape drugs are:
- Rohyphol - also know as "roofies" comes as a small pill that dissolves quickly into liquid. Some are small, round, and white; however, newer forms of these pills are made with a dye that turns clear liquids into a bright blue color and will cause darker drinks to have a cloudy appearance. Two other drugs similar to rohyphol are klonopin (clonazepam) and xanax (alprazolam). The side effects of rohyphol include muscle relaxation, loss of motor skills, loss of consciousness, inability to remember what happened while on the drug, confusion, blurry vision, nausea, garbled speech, dizziness, feelings of being drunk, sleepiness, and possibly death.
- GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric) - also called "cherry meth", "easy lay", and "liquid ecstasy"; GHB is an extremely potent drug that takes effect within 15 minutes and lasts 3 to 4 hours. It comes in liquid form with no odor or color, as a powder, and in pill form. This drug can have a salty taste but can be masked with a sweeter tasting drink. Only a small amount of GHB is needed, so it is easy to overdose on it. The side effects of GHB are nausea, dizziness, drowsy feelings, lack of consciousness, seizures, tremors, inability to remember what happened while on the drug, troubles with breathing, slowed heart rate, sweating, vomiting and in extreme cases, coma and death.
- Ketamine - comes as a liquid or a white powder and is known as "Special K", "Kit Kat", "psychedelic heroin", and "bump". The side effects of ketamine happen very quickly, and the victim might be aware of what is happening but has no ability to move. Ketamine cause blurred vision, loss of the sense of time, loss of identity, distorted perceptions of sound and sight, out of control feelings, numbness, loss of memory, convulsions, troubles with breathing, depression, aggressive behavior, slurred speech, vomiting, and high blood pressure.
(Information retrieved from the date rape drugs fact sheet at Women's Health.)
If you experience anything like this, get help. Call 9-1-1. These drugs are dangerous and are nothing to take chances with. Blood tests can determine if you were given a date rape drug. If you were raped, do not wait to get help. Do not shower, douche, or wash yourself. Do not brush your teethe and take the clothes you had on with you. Do not wash them because they could contain DNA evidence on them. It is important to leave everything "as it is" until the collection of evidence is complete.