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How To Tell Your Wife You Wear Panties

Updated on June 14, 2010

I've written several articles about breaking the news that you're a man who likes to wear lingerie. This is a more specific targeted guide designed especially for guys who are married and would like to share their secret lingerie wearing with their wives.


It's Not The End Of The World

Introduce it in a light fashion. For you this is a huge deal. This is something you've fantasized about and agonized over for a very long time, years certainly, perhaps even decades. To you, this is the largest, most pinkest elephant in the lingerie drawer that there ever was.

However, understand that you don't need to make a big deal of it when you introduce it to your wife. In fact, the less of a big deal you make about it, the more likely she is to accept it. If it helps, think of it like introducing a child to a new experience, like flying on a plane or going to the dentist. You don't get all serious and tense if you want them to be relaxed, instead you talk about how fun it is. Adults are all overgrown kids at heart, and kid tricks work on us more than we would like them to.


Have Fun

So have fun with it! Don't get all serious and sad and sit her down to break the horrific news to her. For the love of all that is good and right in the world don't say / text / email “there's something you have to tell her” and then leave her to stew about it for hours or days. She will assume the worst. She will think that you're cheating, or that you're ill, or that you lost your job and you're going to loose the house.


Set The Mood

Approach her when she is in a good mood. If she is tired or upset about something else, don't bring up your lingerie wearing at that moment. Take the trash out, give her a foot massage and wait for her mood to improve. Women are all about mood.

Wait until she's having a 'bedroom' moment. You know what I mean. Don't make me get explicit. Wait until she is receptive and in the mood for such things.

If you don't think that will work with her, try humor. Slip a bra on under your shirt, or a pair of panties under your trousers. Flash her a little lingerie. Make her smile and laugh.


Show and Tell

Answer her questions, if she has any. Talk to her about it a little at a time. Don't throw your whole lingerie history at her if she hasn't asked about it yet.

Do A Trade

If all else fails, use the barter system. I guarantee there is something she wants. Maybe its for you to do more handy work around the house, maybe it's a different kind of handy work in the bedroom. Offer her something that makes her happy. Sweetening the deal never hurt anybody, and if you make her happy and satisfied enough, trust me, she won't care if you're wearing Victoria's Secret or a Hawaiian grass skirt.


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    • profile image

      JamsD 

      8 years ago

      I started wearing panties after 17 years of marriage, tried to tell my wife, but it never really came out. I just said that I liked how they felt and they are made better, softer, silkier. She, eventually looked in my underwear drawer and saw quite the collection of panties. She got very, very upset. I emptied my drawer for the most part to go back to mens underwear but I can't get the urge out of my head. My wife thinks that it may be "male menopause", I don't think so...just an obsession, cause they feel so good.

    • profile image

      Bob 

      8 years ago

      Actually it was my wife who bought me my first set of panties.

    • profile image

      andy 

      8 years ago

      I have always loved to wear womans panties and i waited about a year into my marriage before i went to bed one night wearing one of her panties and when she found out she didn't seem to mind but as the years went on and i was wearing panties more and more she went along with it but not as much as i would like...

    • profile image

      Ward44 

      8 years ago

      She did not really mind teh panties, but she was very upset with the bras

    • profile image

      FirstTimer 

      8 years ago

      i just got into this new relationship and she has asked if i had any secrets.at first i didn't want to say till 2 days ago i talked to her about me wearing panties or hers and now it seems she is very happy i talked to her about it.she says what good is a relationship if u cant talk about things like this.tuesday will be my first day me and her will go out and buy sdome silk underwear for me and her to wear.i have gotten rid of all my underwear and now wearing them everyday.she smiles everytime i wear them and asks me if they feel good or feel just right if they don't we can get some others that will be more comfortable to me.my size is #8 or #9 silk frilly panties.she thinks i look so cute and i admit at times i do get embarrased but hey if she is cool with it then i should be to

    • profile image

      peanut 

      8 years ago

      i used to be afraid to buy feminine things , and the check out line , oh it was horrible, now its not.

    • profile image

      bwhcpty 

      8 years ago

      Well I have been married for 32 years and she did not know until recently that I love to wear panties. She does not like it and at first was very argumentative about it to the point of throwing them and saying things like “are you gay” or a cross dresser?” So I have been wearing secretly again. Every once in a while I will take a pair of her panties and wear them, then leave them to be found as she is in the bedroom or bathroom. She would get really irate at first but now she is calming down to the point of occasionally coming up to me after I have had a shower and touching me and smiling to see if I am wearing her panties. Sometime when I leave them in the bathroom for her to find she will call me crazy as she smiles etc. It is a long way from where we were about eight months ago when I told her about my desire of wearing panties. She has lost a lot of weight and I think I will try to talk her into buying new panties because just recently she mentioned she needed new panties etc and I agreed with her and said why don’t you buy some size #8 and smiled (that is my size!!) and she smiled and said you would love that, that’s what size you would wear if you bought panties. Like I say, we have come a long way!

    • profile image

      pantylover 

      9 years ago

      married for 26 years and wearing my wife's panties everyday for 26 years.

      I just told her i love the closeness of her

    • profile image

      Robert 

      9 years ago

      the last 4 serious relationships ive been in, the girls have known that I like womens lingerie. 3 out of the 4 were just "ok" with it because it made me happy. The girl im with now genuinely seems to like it and it seems to turn her on quite a bit actually. She's told me she doesn't care what I wear. Ive worn just panties, and panties, stockings, garterbelt and a bra to bed and she said it was "very hot"

      One thing ive learned from telling 4 different women, is don't make it a big deal, tell them early in the relationship, be honest. Don't give her the whole story the first night, mention your like, see what she says, if she seems receptive, wear some to bed one night, turn her on and let her find out you're wearing them. If she wants to ask questions after that, then answer. But, Don't make it the focus of your bedroom activities.. If your into wearing them during sex as I am, you don't have to do it every single time. Mix things up. And most important of all, if you tell your partner, and she's ok with it, do what you can to keep her happy. She's doing what she can to keep you happy, and she also now knows one of your bigger secrets that you wouldn't want public knowledge. Two of the 4 girls I was with were more than happy to let people know about it, and it wasn't easy to smooth over, however they had that "just been broke up with jealous bitch" syndrome, so it wasn't that hard.

    • profile image

      ILoveLingerie 

      9 years ago

      Although I'm single right now, this article will definitely help those having a hard time revealing the lingerie wearing to their partners IMO.

      Nice work;)

    • white atlantic profile image

      white atlantic 

      9 years ago from INDIA

      nice hub

    working

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