- Gender and Relationships
How Women Should Stay Safe While Dating
No woman should experience a night out with a guy she thinks is a good catch, where she ends up being raped, robbed or killed. The world we live in today is not like it was thirty years ago or even ten years ago. With each passing decade this world becomes a more dangerous place to live in, but there is something that will never change and that is our desires to find our one and only soulmate. We can run into a lot of disappointments along the way when we date someone for the first time, because each person we meet is not meant to be for us.
Just like trying on shoes in a shoe store, we have to see which one fits, which one will not be harmful to our feet causing all sorts of problems, like corns and callouses, which ones is better for space or what shoes are more comfortable for long walks and jogs. In the dating world we are trying different people on, to see if they are good for us emotionally, spiritually and physically. We want someone who will treat us with love and respect. However in meeting different people we can easily be put into a dangerous situation, even if it is just getting into a relationship with a user or abuser.
Many women are eager when it comes to finding a good guy that she psyches herself up to believe that every guy she meet could be the one. A woman should just relax, unwind and have fun without the thoughts of if some guy is the one, because 9 out of 10 times he may end up making her want to swear guys off for life, when she realizes that the only thing he did while they were out on their date was flirt and get other women phone numbers behind her back, when she steps into the ladies room.
Most men are predators who seek prey, they are hunters and believe me today they are not hunting for wives, they are hunting for whatever sexual partner they can get. Now I will be fair to the small amount of men who really truly does date to find his soulmate, he is out there ladies. The problem is if he is a good guy, he will be found quickly...leaving the booty call men, the pimps and the players to the rest of the girls.
How do a woman find a date? well first of all it does not take a rocket scientist, but sometimes it seems as if there should be a college course for women on how to land a date, boyfriend or husband. Usually good friends who know of friends who is just as single and ready to date as you are can spread the word that you are looking for a guy to attend a concert or basketball game with because you have some extra tickets. A good trusting friend will not steer you in the wrong direction.
Your friend's should know the guy well enough to introduce you to him and you make sure that friendship is established before any romantic relationship takes place. Hanging out with this guy and finding things you have in common will make things transition easily into a loving relationship down the road and if it is meant to be and if the two of you just find out that the only thing you have in common is a love for basketball, a friendship should suffice.
Online dating is a scary thought for some people and it makes them feel desparate. But it could be a good idea if you go to such sites like eharmony or other pay sites that offers personality background test. Christian Mingles is another site to consider, hoping that you will meet a man with good morals. Free sites are not the greatest or sites with people who have strange fetishes. It is always good to use your gut instinct or good judgement. People usually get what they pay for or don't pay for.
Meeting people at random on the streets or in nightclubs or bars can be a problem if you attract some criminally minded or insane man to you. And my mother always used to tell me, that if I play with trash it would get into my eyes." It was her way of telling me to be careful of who I allowed into my life because it could be hard to get rid of them and I could be hurt.
Libraries, laundrymats and grocery stores are other random places...nevertheless, if you have been going to the same laundrymat or grocery store for years and you know of this person whose been frequenting this place every Tuesday afternoon for the past three years doing the same thing you are doing... maybe it is a good idea to strike up a friendly conversation or don't shy away from him when he says hi to you.
If you attend a church, that is a great place to keep your heart open for who God leads to you. Unfortunately you can meet a creep anywhere so putting the matchmaking into the hands of God and praying is the best thing for a faithful person. If you have any potential upcoming dates, make sure that you meet anyone who is a stranger in a well lit public place like a food court in a mall, a restaurant or coffee house. The afternoon or early evening is a great time for meeting a blind date or internet date. Just remember not to go off alone with some strange man. And making sure that you come home at night at a decent hour shouldn't just be for teens. Tell a friend or relative where you are going and who you are going with. If you feel the need to bring a chaperone or even an entourage of people, hey do it if you feel safe and if the guy doesn't like it... it is his loss if he doesn't call you or doesn't want to go out with you again, at least you'll be safe.
When any woman goes on a date with a stranger, this is a list of the things she should carry in her purse or handbag:
1. Cell phone
2. Mace/pepper spray
3. Cash, in case she ends up needing a taxi
4. Emergency contact information of relatives
5. Maybe even a permit for a gun and the gun to go along with it...just make sure you have the proper training to use it.
6. Condoms, just in case...he forgot and she doesn't want him to back off
7. Breath Mints
8. A bible, just in case...she wants him to back off
9. A list of all the people with sexually transmitted diseases she slept with, so he can back off, whether it is a real list or an imaginary one to scare some jerk away.
10. A whistle...so others can hear her when she's in trouble and alert the police.
The days when the only thing she needed to carry in her purse was her make-up, Kleenex, breath mints and a quarter is long gone.
A little word of advice... talk to this new guy over the phone for at least a month, go on a double date, just until you get to know him.