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How Women Think Verses How Men Think

Updated on May 23, 2019
EvieSparkes profile image

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer and company director from the UK.

How Women in Relationships Think

We women process information externally. If we are worried about something we want to get it out into the open. We don't believe in letting it fester inside until it grows in magnitude. Get it out there and be done with it, or get it out there and go on and on and on about it. I prefer the first.

Men become terrified when women want to talk. They don't know how the conversation is going to go, how they will process the information and what if they don't handle it right?

It doesn't even mean women want you guys to fix anything most of the time. They just want to get it out there because they are thinking about it. It's in their heads and they want to either vent or just make you feel as bad! Sorry, that's a huge generalisation but it's a fact in some cases.

Day to Day Relationship Woes

Men switch off. They aren't listening when you tell him how the queue was ridiculously long int he supermarket, how one of your friends was a pain in the ass that day, how you're sick of him parking in the middle of the drive so that you have to use the horn to get him to come out and move his car because you can't get in.....

Men process information differently to women and they don't express things as women do.

How Men Think in Relationships

Men do think, sometimes just as deeply as us women, but not quite so much! They are fearful of sharing deeper thoughts with the woman in their lives. They don't get the emotional way women sometimes react to big conversations about the relationship. They want to ask 'why are you so emotional?' only they don't, for fear of a really hard slap. Men process their feelings internally rather than externally. They deal with it or don't deal with it. They just don't want to have to have a big talk or make it into a huge issue. It's how they are programmed. It's not their fault.

It's a scientific fact, yes scientific no less. Women are far more likely to behave in an emotional way than men when it comes to relationship talks. Higher levels of testosterone is associated with lower sensitivity to negativity. So for example, say a man was show lots of negative images, the same as the woman, they would be far less sensitive to them and they would be far less likely to have an emotional response. That's not just my opinion, it's a fact.


What Men Think About Dating

Men work on assumption far more than women. If a guy approaches a woman and she's a little shy she might come across as disinterested and he's likely to walk away before the conversation even gets going. He's assumed her nervousness to be disinterest. He doesn't try hard enough to get some real conversation going and he misses out on what might have been something wonderful. He doesn't pay attention to her body language. He misses vital clues that she is actually interested.

Men look at other women. It's just the way they are built. They can't help it and so what? Women get all insecure and hung about about their man appreciating another woman's beauty. They think it says something about their relationship but it doesn't necessarily mean that. I have never had an issue with a man looking at a beautiful woman when she enters the room. The difference between the sexes is that we try hard not to look at a gorgeous man. We don't want him to know we find him attractive. That's because we are more sensitive than men. Testosterone takes over and they don't think before they look. Think about it this way, do you want to sleep with the gorgeous man? Probably not. You just appreciate his gorgeousness! The same for guys. Looking doesn't mean cheating.


Men Don't Care if Your Hair is Flat

Men don't care if your hair didn't go right, if you skin is dry, if you have a spot....they probably haven't even noticed. Men just don't see that stuff. They are with you because they like you, they are attracted to you and a bad hair day is not going to make a jot of difference.

Men don't generally care about cellulite either by the way. Men like curves, they like a bigger ass and they probably don't care if you don't possess a pair of 34dd's.

Women get hung up on the little things. Men don't see the little things.

Both men and women have insecurities. The thing is, men get frustrated when they find us hugely attractive and we can't see it.

She's So Into Me

It's been proved that men are blind to no sexual interest from a woman. If you show a little interest in them as a person they take this as great she's into me. I can vouch for this fact. I have been polite and chatted to guys. That's me. I find people interesting, I might even think he's cute from time to time. But I am not going to do anything about it and I have not (in my opinion) done anything to make him think I am into him. Regardless, he goes on to make it obvious he likes me in that way and then goes on to suggest a hook up. What?

Actually in research, it has been shown that men that go around thinking that all women want them actually do have more opportunities to get them into bed. I was quite surprised at this fact because I was thinking the opposite would be true. It's all to do with evolution it seems.

Women, on the other end of the spectrum, have evolved to under-perceive sexual interest.

Don't Judge

So let's stop judging each other and making things up in our heads. Okay so us women are a little more sensitive than you guys, but does that really matter? You can see now that it's all evolution's fault.

Get on with living together, dating and having fun. Stop trying to work each other out and accept good times for what they are. Detach from what you perceive to be negative and let it be.

Comments

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 weeks ago

      Very interesting article.

      Simply put there are "gender differences" when it comes to dating and relationships. Anyone who insists upon forcing the other gender to think and behave as their own is likely to become frustrated.

      There are and always will be "double standards" as well.

      If a woman slaps a man for making a rude comment it's comedy.

      If a man slaps a woman for making a rude comment it's a tragedy.

      If a woman says: "I refuse to settle!" She is applauded.

      If a man says he refuses to settle (He's afraid of commitment!) :)

      A lot of women will avoid socializing with promiscuous women.

      Men admire guys who are players and want to know their secret!

      I believe one of the reasons women feel insecure when a man looks at other women is because they view other women as their competition. They believe there is a shortage of "good men" and they don't trust other women coming around their men.

      On the other hand men believe there are plenty of good women to go around. Mature guys seldom feel threatened by other guys.

      "Men work on assumption far more than women. If a guy approaches a woman and she's a little shy she might come across as disinterested and he's likely to walk away before the conversation even gets going." - Very true!

      With the advent of the #MeToo, #TimesUp movements along with defining sexual harassment as any unwanted advances many men are reluctant to put much effort into approaching women these days. Every rejection/failure could come back to haunt them. Being stopped at 2nd or 3rd base sounds like an assault.

      One of the most commonly asked questions in dating forums these days is: "How can I tell if she/he likes me?"

      It's as if everyone is back in junior high seeking a friend to find out whether someone is interested in them or not.

      You're also dead right about guys misreading things.

      Not long ago a guy asked if he should pursue a woman based upon the fact she always establishes eye contact with him, smiles, and laughs at his silly jokes. It turns out this woman works at Best Buy as a cashier. I reminded him that friendly customer service is her job!

      It's no wonder so many women look away when men walk in their direction or avoid smiling. They don't want to give a false greenlight!

    • EvieSparkes profile imageAUTHOR

      Evie Sparkes 

      3 weeks ago from Bath

      Thanks Lorna!

    • Lorna Lamon profile image

      Lorna Lamon 

      3 weeks ago

      I enjoyed this very refreshing read and I do believe that sometimes we just overthink things. Great article.

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