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How a man can tear a woman down so bad that she loses herself!!

Updated on November 7, 2012

Some men can tear a woman down rather than lifer them up

A woman can get into a relationship with what she thinks is a great man, a man that may even sweep her off of her feet and make her fall so deeply in love with him that he's all she cares about!! But overtime his true colors start to show. Where He downs her, calls her names, treats her like trash, makes her feel like less of a woman than she ever thought was possible, in some cases even beats her, steals her joy and beauty that she's always known! Makes her feel like no one else wants her, tells her such vicious things like her mother should have killed her when she was born!! Pays everyone more attention than he does her! Won't touch her at night and tells her she's uglY!

Those are the very things that can steal a woman's soul from her, but through it all she'll still love him which makes it even harder to leave, plus the fear that he's instilled in her head that no one else will ever want her! (MENTAL ABUSE) It can kill a woman softly and take her away from the person she used to be, to where she completely loses herself in the worst way! Some men treat women in such a manner just to break her, and keep her with him forever! Because he's afraid to lose her! When in all reality she's lost within herself so he's already lost her!! A mans control can kill a woman slowly without actually pulling a trigger!

Broken heart


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    • profile image


      2 years ago

      An abusive man, seeks out women who don't know that they are already emotionally damaged. Women spend their lives having to take care of everything and everyone around them, that don't know that they themselves are in need of care. But, the abuser he has ways of seeking out this weakness. He is a master of illusion. He appears to be a good guy, who has come to rescue her. When a woman is emotionally damaged she doesn't understand that she's in a very low, and dark place. The only thing that lives in these types of places are dark, damaged, hurt, disappointed, hateful people; who are incapable of rescuing anyone including themselves. He's either showing you that he loves you or he's showing you that you mean very little to him. What are waiting around for? You can't take care of him, you' he not even taking care of yourself!

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Does this include a man not wanting his partner to do her hair, wear make-up, or dress nice; and when she does accuse her of trying to look good for the next man

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      Beware of a man name Harlen T Brace.

    • profile image

      Dakota Fleming 

      4 years ago

      Because daddy never loved her the right way.That's where the abuse begins

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Sometimes it can happen so slowly after you already love someone that u do not even know its happening until you feel like its to late and there's no hope

    • abbykorinnelee profile image

      Abigayle Malchow 

      5 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

      I was in a verbally abusive relationship with two different men. I lost a bit of my mind with the boyfriend and then turned around and married the same type of man who "saved" me from the other one. Go figure. He had PTSD so I thought the escalation and the violent behavior that started was all beause of that. I blamed myself. I didn't understand why people kept telling me I wasn't the person that I had always been, of course I was why couldn't they see that? I became more and more a shell of myself and had no clue. I thought I was crazy and got mental help and after he walked out one day it turned out to be a blessing in the end. 2 years after he left and a year after my divorce I read a book that made me realize that I was abused. I didn't know that verbal abuse could turn violent but not physical. I didn't know the control tactics or that verbal abusers are hard to spot because they have others so fooled that is why no one believed that it was his fault. I didn't realize that his PTSD has turned into his excuse or that he was showing the signs of being abusive before the disorder hit. I didn't understanad until that book that women don't always know that they aren't the same person and that they are a shell now of who they once were, only to realize it after they have been a shell for awhile. I didn't know that leaving a man like that an actually be dangerous until I was getting "hunt you down to kill you" calls in order to get me to stop support enforcement or give him the money he demanded. This is a great subject. I wrote about myexperience finally on hubpages. I think its important to reach out because another women doesn't know she is in this relaionship either...just like me....I hope it reaches and helps someone...I applaud your subject matter. Not all violence against women is physical and violent behavior isn't always physical abuse. Abuse can actually be financial as well..called financial abuse....Patricia Evans wrote the book...excellent but a little repetitive...still was the only thing to open my eyes. Been single for two years now for the first time because I need to learn how to recognize it avoid a repeat...good job voted up

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      5 years ago

      How a man can tear a woman down so bad that she loses herself!!? The answer is she allows him to!!!

      People that don't love themselves and don't have "deal breakers" will (find reasons) stay in toxic relationships.

      Instead of pointing the finger at the man (the woman needs to look into the mirror)! Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. You are responsible for your own happiness. If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead...(whose fault is that?)

      Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? Of course not! You learn to become a (better shopper)! Bad experiences give us wisdom and teaches us what not to do in the future. My book titled, "My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany) is about having a "wake up call" and seeing one's relationship for (what it is). It's also about determining if our "expectations" are "realistic" for (the particular person) we've chosen. Once again YOU get to pick your own mates! You decide whether to stay in a relationship or leave!

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. It's your life! Take the wheel! One man's opinion! :-)


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