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How can I find a boyfriend in a chat room?

Updated on March 11, 2012

First, you must ask yourself: what type of a boyfriend are you hoping to meet in a chat room? If you mean simply a guy you can chat with because you do not have many male perspectives in your life, then this might be a good option. However, if you think you might be looking for romantic love in a chat room, seriously, I would not take a chat room that seriously. The Internet is a fun way to meet people who share your interests, but finding a boyfriend in a chat room should not be your main goal in life. If you go on a chat room with the primary purpose of meeting men, well it will show right away. The type of men who are up for this arrangement are most likely looking for a casual relationship, but you might find a few serious ones along the way.  Just do not expect prince charming to be awaiting your arrival in the chat room, as he may have been scared off by the bots. The question is: Why do you want to meet a boyfriend in a chat room? Have you tried online dating sites like Eharmony and, which are actually geared towards meeting potential dates online? Maybe you could try if paying to date online is not your cup of tea. The bottom line is trying to find a chat room is not the easiest thing to do, but I do know some people who have found dates on these chat. One man dated a woman for six years he met on a chat room, but this was before the days of 2.0 social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace.

Can you find a boyfriend on a chat room?  That is up to you, but it is not exactly easy!
Can you find a boyfriend on a chat room? That is up to you, but it is not exactly easy!

Those Who Hate Bars

Many of us hate bars and we are definitely not social butterflies, so chat rooms would be a better place to meet men. The only problem with a chat room is you will have to do more sleuthing to figure out who the person you are talking to really is because it is much easier to lie online, whereas in person you can determine what a person looks like right away. If appearances are not important to you then this may not matter, but do not expect a guy you meet in a chat room to be six foot two just because he typed this on the screen. He can provide you with a picture, but both women and men are known to lie about their appearances online. Some even may send you an outdated picture, so if you are big on looks, the chat rooms and the Internet in general may not be the best method for finding dates.

Also, another thing about chat rooms is that many users are not people, but bots. The bots will try to get you to visit a site off of the chat room, and often these sites are about hooking up or dating, and usually very adult oriented sites. This is okay if you enjoy navigating through all the bots on a Yahoo or AIM chat room to find the real people, but it may take a few minutes to say the least.

Some have argued that chat rooms are a thing of the past and most people network on Myspace and Facebook these days, but there are still a few people to be found on chat rooms. However, unless you are looking to start up a long distance relationship with someone on the other side of the world then chat rooms may not be the way to go.

Try To Find Local Chat Rooms

Long distance relationships usually do not work out, well unless, you are interested in helping someone apply for a visa, and are willing to marry them so they can become a citizen in your country. I actually chatted with a few guys a couple of years ago who were very sweet and sincere, or so I thought at the beginning. Over a couple of months they buttered me up with compliments and then boom, one asked me if I could sponsor him for a visa. Another time the guy asked me if I could send him money for a test. I also chatted with a man who bought a Russian woman a plane ticket, but guess who was not on the plane when it landed? She probably used the money to take her friends out to lunch, and laughed at him for being trusting enough to fall for her scam.

This may sound very gullible to some, but when you are single and not meeting anyone on the dating scene, well then a friendly person in a chat room can sometimes charm you, into doing things that are against your better judgment.

This is exactly how many men and women have been duped into sending people money via those scams that we hear so much about on the net. I have always been able to step back and not fall for these type of scams myself, but a couple of years ago I do admit to being charmed by the things someone said to me on the computer. When they asked for money it was over, but it is a real thing to be aware of when dating people you meet on a chat room. Yes there is such a thing as cyber dating, and people can often spend more time video chatting with each other then some couples do on in rendezvous.

Many of us introverts do not easily meet people in person, so the Internet has been a way to meet potential dates. Unless you have a large circle of friends and can always ask people to set you up, then dating in person can be hard. Online dating is not for losers or social outcasts as many portrayed it to be in years past, but it does take a longer time to meet potential dates online. I personally do not think a chat room is the best place to meet potential dates, but over the years I have met some good friends this way. My very good Australian friend who I enjoy talking to over three years, well I met him on a Myspace chat room. Today Myspace does not even host chat rooms, which shows more and more these are being displaced with the new social media. You can still meet friends on chat rooms today, but contending with all the bots is not exactly my cup of tea.

Of course it would be nice to meet a man in person at Starbucks, but many of us women are not just going to go up to random men and ask them out. Many men would not want to do that either, so in this case the Internet is a good alternative for those who do not have a large pool of potential dates in their day to day life. I would just caution using the chat rooms, and regard these as more of a way to meet international friends than dates. Often you can still meet local men on the more localized chat rooms, but in this day in age those chats are harder to find.  Try to meet friends of friends through Facebook, or try to connect with locals through Myspace.  Does anyone have a happy ever after chat room story to share?  We would be very interested to hear one.


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    • profile image

      LeeAnn Marie Hipkins 

      2 months ago

      I just wanted a boyfriend

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      OK thanks

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Thanks for helping me..

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I just want a boyfriend

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I need a boyfriend now!!

    • profile image

      joselyn ramirez 

      7 years ago

      thanks a lot for your help

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Thank you for sharing CyclingFitness!

    • CyclingFitness profile image

      Liam Hallam 

      8 years ago from Nottingham UK

      Great hub SweetiePie, i've met a number of women online through chat rooms as the ease of approach and annonymity allows development of conversation with a random stranger. It also allows one to explore options outside of your normal social circle.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      SweetiePie, I was surfing on the net and I saw this question. At first I was surprised that someone will actually ask this kind of question, but then I think a lot of people has this question in their mind, just that they don't want to speake it out and I am one of them. I don't like to go to bars and pubs and I work in a place were I'm the only person in the office with my boss. I live in a place were transportation isn't convenient at all. My social life with an opposite sex one can say is totally zero. Of all this I feel like is impossible for me to meet anyone, so I went online and hoping to find someone nice and decent to date with. But then I found out later that was impossible or just that I don't have the luck. It made me think a lot after I reading your suggestion, thanks a lot :)

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Southern California, USA


      I tend to agree with you actually. I think it is hard to meet people online, but I would not go there expecting to meet someone. Many people do, but you must be cautious as well.

    • profile image

      Angelica Maria 

      9 years ago

      ohh no I dont recommend Chat rooms In my opinion they are terrible and more if you are looking for a boyfriend.

      Always it will be better when you know the person face to face.

      You have to be very lucky to find Good friend online and a partner more lucky then.

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Southern California, USA


      What is wrong with people meeting online if they want too? People are just not used to the new technology yet, and fifty years from now I doubt it will be as big of a deal for people to meet online as it is now. However, I do agree it is easier to get to know the real person in real life first, and meeting people online is very problematic in that many people are deceptive.

    • artycraftyparty profile image


      9 years ago from Oakley - Aylesbury - United Kingdom

      What's wrong with the old fashioned social skills of facing the one you like in real life.

      Nowadays we seem to have simplified and removed those skills and prefer e-meeting to the ever-so-thrilling experience to start a conversation with a real person at the shopping center, at the bus stop or wherever else.

      By the way ... facebook, surprisingly, gave me the unexpected, "new-fashioned", youngster's feelings of infatuation. Without meeting in real life, though, it is all useless, in my view.

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA


      Those are all good alternatives. My friend met her fiancé at a church group, so there are many social situations that are better than bars for sure. Thanks for sharing this advice.

    • Paradise7 profile image


      10 years ago from Upstate New York

      Sweetie Pie, you know a good alternative to bars, that's NOT ONLINE???? I'm busting my brains and the best thing I can come up with is, a course in something you're interested in at a college, or possibly music lessons. Sometimes also people meet lifelong mates at church.

      Just a few alternatives to meet people in person without stepping into a local.

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA


      Never personally met a boyfriend on a chat room, this was just a hub request. Basically I gave up online dating years ago, but I was instructing the girl who wanted to meet a man in a chat room that this was not the best way to go. I thought she would be better off with a dating site, if she really wanted to meet someone online.

      That being said I have found a few decent chat rooms, but not recently. I used to visit a couple of international chat rooms, and crafting topic chat rooms where everyone acted pretty decent.


      Thanks for sharing Anamika!

    • Anamika S profile image

      Anamika S Jain 

      10 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

      Interesting read. I would not want to make a boyfriend in a chat room. I have enough troubles without that itself,lol.

    • profile image

      Leta S 

      10 years ago

      OOOooo, SP. Chatrooms are scary places. Kind of like the dive bars of the internet or something. Speaking of which, this place is going that way, too, I think, ;). Meeting online, OK. Just another medium...but those who 'chat' seem to be of a certain character from what I've seen.

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA


      Those are all very thoughtful suggestions, and sound a lot better than a chat room :).

    • bearclawmedia profile image


      10 years ago from Mining Planet Earth

      Good and helpful hub Sweetie Pie. I have one positive contribution to make as far as dating goes.

      Go to web sites that list meetings in your area for professionals or artists or what ever type of person your interested in meeting. Look up events , book launches and attend them. You are free of the bar meat market syndrome and the internet scarry loser syndrome.

      An example would be that Architects have meetings regularly,they give presentations constantly, there are public and private presentations, there is always socialising time, you will at a minimum be exposed to a good topical discussion.

      When people attend galleries, book signings or professional presentations, you always have a reason to be there. It would not be odd to attend by yourself, especially if you do your homework and show some interest for the event. Those who attend are often in a good mood and putting there best foot forward. You can always get in if you are well dressed and well mannered. If you are shy someone will just think you are an incredibly sensitive artist and engage you in conversation.

      You can meet someone who is not just looking for an easy time. You also get to inspect the merchandise. It is a respectable place to hook up so you get invited to dinner straight away.

      I hope this was helpful, sorry if my comments sound like a hub. Bearclaw

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA


      Yes it is best to let love find you, but some us have to help it along. If you are an introvert or have a small circle of friends, and going out to bars is not your cup of tea, well online dating is a nice alternative. I really do not date people I meet online anymore, but it is a good way for more reserved types to meet people. I absolutely have never enjoyed parties or large social gatherings, so I can totally understand why some people prefer to meet others online.


      You also offer some great advice. Thanks for sharing!


      Glad things worked out for you in the end :).

    • Muderboy profile image


      10 years ago from Glendale, AZ

      I met my current wife online, well not exactly... A friend of hers was trying to hook her up, but decided to keep me for herself. We dated for nearly two years, until I discovered she was nuts - well, I knew all along that she was nuts, but the sex was great and that usually wins out with guys. We are so damn simple, it's truly amazing. Anyway, after we broke up, I started dating the woman nutgirl was trying to hook up originally, and eventually we married and are living happily ever after for the past 6 years. So, in a roundabout way, it sometimes works out.

      I understand why there are scammers out there, but also a lot of sincere folks too, who just want to meet the right person. But if you lie about who you really are, then what chance do you really have? Not many, I would think, but then I never lied, so I ended up with a great deal online. She's nuts too, but in a very nice way...

    • emievil profile image


      10 years ago from Philippines

      Hey SP, Happy New Year! Your hub reminded me of the time when I was still active in the chat room. Two of my ex - bfs, I met through the chat room but it was only after we saw each other several times that they (one at a time huh? LOL) became my bf. Plus I had a friend who met her American ex-bf through the chat room. The thing is, my friend and I both waited to see the other guys before we actually committed but I know some people who actually hooked up even before they saw each other outside the chat room.

      I agree with everything that you wrote in this hub especially the sleuthing part. There are just so many chatters who are not really giving out their true info so one has to be really careful before one gets to be serious with somebody else.

    • profile image

      Nancy's Niche 

      10 years ago

      Maybe the best thing to do is let love find you!

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Hi Hello, Hello,

      No I would not recommend dating online in general at all. However, it is a better way to meet people if you are more introverted as myself. Personally I met most people on sites specifically for dating, but even then I never found someone I truly liked. My suggestion to the person making the hub request is they would have better luck with a dating site than a chat room.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      10 years ago from London, UK

      It was fun to read but personally I would not try any of them.

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA


      I am not looking to meet a boyfriend to date online personally, this was just a hub request. I met a couple of nice guys on, but I did not want to date them. I was just giving the person that made this hub request some alternatives to the chat rooms, where it is find a local living human being. Thanks for the supportive comment though :).

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Plentyoffish is crap, I have tried it and most are old relics washed up on the shore, you deserve better !

    • SweetiePie profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Southern California, USA


      I do not discount the woman who made this hub request will meet the love of her life in a chat room, but I am a little skeptical as well. I have been on the chat rooms and between the bots and others I have not had much luck myself. Maybe some day I would meet the love of my life on a chat room, but I just do not think so. I have met a handful of really good friends on chat rooms that I like to talk to online, but that is the extent of it :). Thanks for sharing dohn!

    • dohn121 profile image


      10 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      There is a certain mystique to meeting people online, but for the most part, they can be a bit dishonest (HubPages not withstanding). It does take some time and some building of trust but I do believe that it is possible. A couple of people I know have found others online and have fallen in love and even married. I might not be as bold, but it can happen when you least expect it.

      Thanks SweetiePie. It all starts with friendship :D


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