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What can Women do to Defend Themselves from Domestic Violence

Updated on November 1, 2011

This is such an important topic - important because there are just so many women out there who face domestic violence constantly, mostly at the hands of their husbands. It is so difficult for women to handle this situation because they just can't walk away and leave (especially those who are married and have kids and have no substantial or no income). Also, some women are just too scared to report the abuser to the police for fear of more harm coming their way from the perpetrator. However, status quo is dangerous and it may cost the victim much to dearly to be risked. So, what should women do to protect themselves from domestic violence?

Especially if you've been threatened with murder or bodily harm (but even otherwise), you need to take immediate measures to safeguard yourself. You could call one of the domestic violence hotlines and seek their support. They would provide you valuable advice on what specific measures can be taken to protect yourself. Also, you can consider obtaining a restraining order after informing the local law enforcement authority. However, it is better to get away from your abuser before taking any measures that could be viewed by the abuser in a hostile manner. Also, restraining orders would be of no use in offering you immediate protection - hence the better option would be to leave this abuser ASAP and thereby put yourself out of harm's way.

Another important thing is to know what gets your husband (abuser) dangerously angry. The kind of anger that threatens you and makes you fear for your life. Try to not argue with the abuser when they are in that angry frame of mind. Just soak it all up. You don't want them to get more angry and trip; they might end up doing you bodily harm or worse. So, try and control the urge to debate back.

Be prepared to leave - always. In order to leave, you need to keep your essential items ready. You need to ensure you have a place to go, that you have adequate cash with you at all times, that you take all your important documents. You can keep all of this ready in a bag that can be taken with you at a moment's notice. You need to ensure though that the abuser has no clue as to the existence of this bag and your intentions.

Things can get quite difficult and complex when kids are involved. You need to try and protect them from becoming casualties of domestic abuse. You should educate them on how they should respond when your husband (or any other abuser) is shouting at you or threatening you. You need to tell the kids firmly that they are NOT TO get involved when such situations arise. Often times, the abuser might take out his anger on the kids. Educate them on how to seek help (like 911), how to contact relatives/neighbors, how to get out of harm's way.

Even though some women find it difficult to leave, it is in their best interest to in fact leave - if indeed the husband (abuser) is extremely volatile and prone to uncontrollable rage. Such people can end up killing and it is definitely not worth the risk, either to you or to your kids (if you have children).


Copyright ┬ęShil1978┬« 2011 - All Rights Reserved



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    • Shil1978 profile image

      Shil1978 5 years ago

      Jen, you are quite right. It is difficult to break the cycle, but break they must somehow. The cost of not doing so can be potentially deadly, as demonstrated by the real incident you've shared - truly heart breaking. I hope if the women themselves are not able to break the cycle that someone close to them can pick up on the signs and help encourage them to break the cycle and leave. Would save so many precious lives from being lost, abused!!

    • JenJen0703 profile image

      Jennifer McLeod 5 years ago from Battle Creek, Michigan

      It's not as easy for an abuser to walk away as everyone says it is. There are women out there that have known nothing but abuse their whole lives, and at what point are they going to break the cycle? When things can't get any worse, when they are afraid for their lives. I lived down the street from a family for several years, and one day, for God only knows what reason, the man shot his wife and son and killed them both. When they pulled the carpet out, it sat bloodsoaked for 6 months along the road side because the garbage company wouldn't touch it. A constant reminder laying there on my street, what domestic violence can do. That's why women are afraid to leave.

    • Shil1978 profile image

      Shil1978 8 years ago

      Haven't seen that movie - can you briefly touch upon what advice is given in the movie?? Yes indeed, legal recourse needs to be taken. However, I would think that first you need to get out of harm's way. Relocate to a safer place and then seek legal help to keep the abuser away.

    • lindagoffigan profile image

      lindagoffigan 8 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Your advice sounds like the movie "Enough." I would advise the abused to seek legal assistance from a free legal service inthelocal area. Do not wait on a second abusive action. Go about it the legal way.