- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
How Do I Pick Up That Girl on the Bus?
Okay, so this is where things get intense. You need practice, knowledge and guts to get that girl on the bus. Unless you’re some kind of male supermodel, you’re not going to be able to get that girl on the bus just by sitting beside her and running your hands through your hair. Basically, we’ll assume you’re El Normalo guy like most of us guys are (and that you’ve followed my tips on the “How do I Get That Girl - Basics” page.
Contrary to what you may think, you’re not going to have to act fast, because to play your cards right, you’re going to have to get off at the same stop as her (you must not let her know you followed her off the bus… or, if you start conversation before getting off the bus, act surprised, “Oh, this is my stop, too!”)… the pressure happens when you’re on your way to work and you don’t have the time to get off at her stop (but, if you think she’s worth it, work can wait!). So, the parameters are that you must depend on what you say and how you act to pique her interest. Play your cards carefully…
- Try to make eye contact with her, but don’t appear as if you’re staring
- Smile if you guys do make eye contact
- Notice what she is doing – is she reading, using her smartphone?
- Approach her with a question; such as is that book you’re reading good, is that jacket from such-and-such, are you going to the game, etc.?
- Get off at the same stop as her, giving you more time and less pressure to “get her”
- Help her pick something up if she drops it… the heavens have given you an opportunity!
- Have something in hand, like a coffee or a book – it signals that you’re non-aggressive
- Ask her assumptive questions once in conversation (e.g. “So, you work downtown, eh?)
- Stare at her like a pervert, hoping she’ll notice you
- Just go up to her and say something stupid like, “D’uh, you’re so beautiful.”
- Go and sit beside her if there’s a seat open
- Stare into your smartphone, tapping away…
- Be empty-handed, like a predator awaiting his prey
- Ask her if she has a boyfriend or husband
- Ask her direct questions
On the bus, subway, skytrain, train or ferry, your body language and how you look are a very big factor in deciding the outcome. Firstly, dress appropriately for the season regardless of the temperature inside the vehicle. If it’s summer outside, wear something that connotes lightness, brightness… and don’t bust out your sweater that you keep in your bag because the train is usually a bit chilly. You want to match the outside seasons. That said, if you’re a bit on the flabbier side, then Fall and Winter are your best friends (even though we all know that Spring is the best time to get connected).
The next thing in regards to appearance is your luggage. If you’re a student lugging around a backpack, that’s fine – just make sure that girl you’re after isn’t a handbag-toting office lady. She isn’t going to go for a guy that appears to be 12 years younger (or worse yet, looks the same age, but dresses 12 years younger). If you’re a briefcase-toting mature gentleman, then please don’t go for the young girl with a Jansport backpack and Hello Kitty cellphone sleeve. Stick with the ladies who look and dress in the same age category. Why? In the end, women prefer to be with a man that is at the same stage of life as themselves… and no, most girls don’t want some old man “taking care” of her.
The other important thing to remember when trying to secure a spot in the commuting girl’s heart is that you can’t appear to be a predator waiting on its prey. Whatever you do, do not act aggressive, make sudden movements, or talk as if you’re negotiating. If she’s a fox, you want her to feel that you’re just another fox… if she’s a rabbit, you want her to feel comfortable nibbling on lettuce and carrots with you. Get my drift? You’re a friendly creature, just passing by, just wanting to make friends. And that is how you must frame the entire encounter – you just want to make friends (even though we know it’s not your real intention).
- You suddenly notice that beautiful girl on the train… play it cool, don’t stare.
- Check her out, but only in order to see if she has any conversation-starters; such as a book she’s reading, an accessory you recognize, a smartphone you know about, or practically anything.
- You’ll want to break the ice pretty soon; you can either do it while on the vehicle, or you can get off at the same stop as her and do it then. It’s easier to break the ice while on the vehicle, however, because you’re both trapped. Start off by mentioning whatever conversation-starter she happens to have (e.g. “Hey, is that a Banana Yoshimoto book?”), or you can simply start like, “Wow, some nice weather we’ve been having…”
- Normal people should respond by continuing the conversation – especially if it’s about something that they are reading or that they have. If she brushes you off, ignore it. Just know that you were brushed off for one of two reasons; she gets hit on all the time, or you smell and look like a camel’s rear end!
- Once the conversation is started (I hope you’re a good conversationalist), tell her a bit about yourself, but also ask her some questions about herself with assumptive answers. For example, “So, you must work downtown in the financial district?” NOT, “Where do you work?” Or, “I guess you take this train every day, because I vaguely recall seeing you before.” NOT, “Do you take this train every day?” Assumptive questions are more friendly, less intrusive and easier to answer.
- Wrap up the conversation with, “Oh, by the way, my name is so-and-so, I totally didn’t get yours!” Get her name and remember it! You can then end the conversation by exchanging business cards (the ideal situation); offer yours first, then ask for hers. If that’s not happening, then the second-best thing is to exchange Facebook details or e-mails. Only go for the phone number if she seems really interested (a girl that is not totally overwhelmed by you initially can always be worked on… but, you don’t want to scare her by asking for a thing so personal as her phone number.).
- On the other hand, if you had to get off the train with her (make sure to feign, “Oh, this is my stop, too!), then you continue the conversation while walking. It shouldn’t take too long before it’s time to part ways – make sure YOU are the one who says, “Oh, I’m going this way.” You both should stop and then follow through with Step #6.
There ya go pal! Wishing you the best of luck. If you don’t succeed, don’t worry, the best of us have failed while trying to get that girl on the bus.