- Gender and Relationships»
How do I love thee?
Who taught you to love?
Love is a many splendid thing as the old song goes but in reality humans are borned with the ability to love but must be taught how to love. Sadly here in the new millineum, most people especially in America, learn to love from the media. What's wrong with that? you may ask. To be honest, a lot! Media love is plagued with pitfalls,
1. The thrill of the chase: Most all Hollywood love stories revolve around the chase. It goes something like this, Boy meets girl, girl rejects boy or boy rejects girl, then the quest begins to win his or her affection, it usually ends with a reconciliation, the two love birds wrapped in each others arms sharing a long, passionate kiss. If that were the end and they remained that way for the rest of their lives; life would be grand. We all know that here in the real world it doesn't happen like that at all; there are many hurdles to cross and hardships to endure in a real relationship. The problem with this cenario is that so many young people buy into the lie and when reality comes to call they are unable to handle it and Americas divorce rate climbs to a new high.
2. Everything is beautiful: Oh yeah, everything is beautiful in Hollywood. From the ripped six packed guys to the bikini bodied babes all is glamorous on the silver screen. While we must agree that there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, we must also agree that real beauty comes from within. The problem the inability to obtain this beauty can have devistating,and sometimes even deadly results. Thousands of young people die from anarexia,bolimia,nervosa and still many others commit suicide rather than face the "Ugly truth".
3. Happily ever after: Ah yes those wonderful words that we have had read to us in so many fairy tales. There's just one thing wrong with a fairy tale; " it's not real!" America's divorce rate is astronomical and with the economy in its present state it stands to get alot worse. Happily ever after is hard to find when your prince charming is layed off and cinderella can't even get a chimney to clean.
When you find no love at home
We can't blame it all on the media, never was a truer saying than the old addige "Children learn what they live and live what they learn." When parents fail to show love to each other, they also deprive their children of it. Abuse is also a learned behavior, be it emotional, phyical or verbal, if a child grows up in an abusive enviroment he or she is very likely to become an abuser. America is seeing the worst addiction and disfunctionalism in it's history. At present about forty percent of America is addicted to drugs and / or alcohol. With that in mind, it is little wonder that we have about three generations of addicted and disfunctional parents. Because of so many disfunctional families having children we are basically breeding addicts. Many of these battered children grow up afraid to show emotion, they only want to survive and get out of the situation. The only problem is they often carry the situation into their marriages and their families.
Finding "True Love"
Having shed some light on the wrongs of love we now get into the good part, "finding true love." Does true love really exist in our world today? absolutely, as a matter of fact it's probably as close as your nearest book store, book shelf, or maybe even your coffee table. Yes true love awaits you in that old black back book the bible. What's that you are not a Christian, or a believer in christ? Ok, you're entitle to your own belief; but for now lets just use the bible for historical reference, and some phylisophical reasons if you will.
In I Corinthians 13:1 the Apostle Paul gave some guidelines on love and how to identify it. in the next few paragraphs we will endeavor to apply this to our everyday lives. We will use loves attributes to make a "wish list if you will for real and undying love. We will also take inventory of ourselves and our relationships to see how we stack up. The great thing about this love lesson is it will apply to both married and single people, male and female.
What Love is
Yes, you read it right, it does say "What Love is:" Paul wrote the Corinthians; If I give all that I have to feed the poor and though my body was burned at the stake, if I don't have love it is all meaningless. I Corinthians 13:3. What a powerful statement! If what Paul wrote is true, then Love must be very important both to man, and God. Each of us at some point search to find our purpose and do something meaningful. Yet if we fail to find love, then all that is a worthless waste of time. Lets look at what the bible list Love to be.
4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8Charity never faileth:
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is not envious
Love does not Boast
Love is not Proud
Love never makes a scene or misbehaves
Love is not greed or out for personal gain
Loves is not angered easily
Love never thinks the worst in any situation
Love never complains
Love is faithful and trusting
Love always has hope
Love never gives up
Love never fails
"Wow and you thought that it was kissing and chocolate!" According Paul's letter to the Corinthians love is so much more than the superficial things we so often label as love. The bible spoke truth when it stated that God is love. If we as Christians, as couples, and as a society can learn to look for, identify and implement these simple principles we will truly have acheieved and completed the pursuit of happiness.
Join us next week as we cover each facet of love listed here and how it applies to our twenty first century lives. In "Love defined," we will test ourselves to see if we understand these principle:
Come back next week and join us for Love defined.