How important is sex in marriage?
'The main problem in marriage is that for a man sex is a hunger like eating. If the man is hungry and can’t get to a fancy restaurant, he goes to a hot dog stand. For a woman, what is important is love and romance.’- Joan Fontaine
You cannot deny the importance of physical attraction in marriage. Your honeymoon days are heavenly because of the exciting physical proximity of your spouse.
But why is it your sexual urge gradually peters into a routine and dull ritual between you and your spouse?
Why does your need for one another lack the exhilarating spark of your initial marriage days? The reasons are simple!
- Your responsibilities pull you down.
- You are stressed and tensed by your work load.
- Your concentration shifts to your children.
- You become used to each other and there is nothing exciting about your relationship.
You drift away from each other mentally and physically. If emotional intimacy is very important to make your marriage survive, your physical intimacy adds strength to your relationship. Of course the initial compelling physical urge gradually settles down to normalcy, but you cannot completely forgo it.
What makes you lack interest in sex after a few years of marriage?
You are tired and weary from a hectic work schedule and all you want is some rest and peace at home. Your responsibilities pressurize you and instead of sharing your emotions with your spouse, you isolate yourself into a separate world of miserable thoughts and feel completely washed out. Sex is far away from your thoughts as you do not find anything exciting about your spouse.
When you lose interest in your spouse, you lose interest in physical intimacy. When you are physically apart from your spouse, it becomes normal for you to be far away from him\her emotionally also. If your relationship with your spouse lacks physical and emotional intimacy your marriage loses all the glow of love and care.
Do you know that a man’s outlook towards sex is entirely diverse from that of a woman?
This different outlook towards the physical aspect of marriage makes your sexual life very stressful and boring. To a man satisfying his sexual urge is more of an animal instinct. He must have it when he is in the mood, whereas his wife needs loving care to be sexually inclined.
Are you a man who thinks that his wife must accommodate you when you are in a mood? Do you not care whether she likes it or not? Do you not make her feel loved? She feels depressed when you do not make her feel emotionally wanted and concentrate only on her body.
Are you a woman who feels sex is your weapon to meet your demands? Do you hold back sex in anger and make your husband feel frustrated? Your husband hates you for this.
Physical intimacy is one of the main ingredients of a happy marriage. But why is it couples fail to keep the initial excitement alive?
- Is it because of the heavy workload?
- Or is it the lack of interest that makes sex very routine and matter of fact?
The simple truth is that you make the tension from outside world rob you of the euphoric excitement it can give you. You can make your proximity exciting if it is an emotional and expressive display of your love. It is something so personal for both of you, isn’t it? Then why do you not enjoy it?
Never let the intimacy between you become mundane and practical. It should be a spontaneous, exciting and electrifying need for one another.
When you have arguments with your spouse, you feel terribly upset and unhappy. When your spouse overlooks it and does not explain the reason behind the hot words uttered, you feel that your spouse is callous and uncaring.
But when your spouse thinks that sex can make up for all the hurting words uttered it makes you feel repelled and nauseated. When the love between you flickers uncertainly, you fail to excite each other and your sex life is nothing but a mere physical need-more like an animal.
Physical intimacy is worthless when you are not emotionally close to your spouse. Your emotional intimacy means nothing when you are not physically intimate with your spouse. Both aspects are intertwined and inseparable and you need both to make your marriage work.
© 2014 mathira