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How not to flirt with girls: Don'ts of flirting for guys trying to approach a girl

Updated on November 12, 2012

There are tons of tips and advice columns on how to flirt with a girl but few steer away from creating flawless romantic moments to lay down the practical don'ts of flirting. Forget the picture perfect dating advice because your life is not the a movie plot where everything happens as planned. Read on and know how not to flirt with a girl as this post reminds you of the things that you shouldn't do while approaching a girl and asking her out for a date.

Don't play hard to get and don't expect her to make the first move. She will be expecting you to walk up to her like a man.
Don't play hard to get and don't expect her to make the first move. She will be expecting you to walk up to her like a man. | Source

1) Don't wait for a girl to make the first move

If you have locked eyes with a pretty lady don't wait for her to make the first move. Guys are typically expected to make the first move whether it is giving a smile or a flirty nod.

You could be ruining your chances of getting a date with the girl if you just sit on the sidelines and wait for signs from above that she is interested in you. Make your move and judge the situation as it unfolds.

2) Don't look away from her if she looks back at you

Eye contact is your gateway into a girl's mind. You may very well say goodbye to your chances of any kind of interaction with a girl if you don't make eye contact. Look at her and if she looks back don't look away.

It may be considered obnoxious if you keep staring. But the point is to make solid eye contact and peep into her mind. If she gives you a nasty look you can always back away and if the look in her eye is friendly, it could mean a green signal for you to approach her.

3) Don't stare at her body

You are mistaken if you think that your dirty stares at a girl's chest or her legs will in any way make her feel sexy or be appreciated. Stop your eyes from wandering away from anywhere but her face while you are trying to approach her.

She may think of you as a pervert if she catches you staring at her body rather than into her eyes.

4) Don't call her by names that can be lewd or derogatory

Avoid calling her by names that could be perceived as rude, lewd or derogatory. These include approaching a girl by saying 'Hey babe, I was wondering if we could catch up over a cup of coffee'. She is not your babe and she may not appreciate you calling her by that name. If you must ask her out, be a gentleman and ask for her name first.

Call her by her name and don't take the liberty to address her with words like 'Hey sexy' or 'hottie' when you greet her for the first time.

5) Don't approach a girl without a conversation

Whenever you find yourself making flirtatious eye contact with a girl make sure that you think of a reason to approach her. There is nothing wrong in going up to her and giving her a random hi, but if you have a reason it will allow you to be better armed with a conversation starter.

Your motive of approaching her could be simply an excuse to find out where she got her stylish boots from so you can gift the same to someone you know or even showing interest in the book she is reading. Having a reason will make your flirty move subtle and cute.

6) Don't offer her the pleasure of your company

When a guy approaches a girl it is generally his pleasure in having the company of the woman. This notion has stood the test of time and don't try to bring in a revolutionary flirting technique by assuming that you are offering the girl the pleasure of your company.

Remember this and genuinely ask the girl if she would give you the pleasure of taking her out on a fun date. Don't be a jerk and under no circumstances should you seem arrogant.

Giving her a compliment will instantly sway the conversation in your favor. Keep it genuine, keep it real and say it from your heart.
Giving her a compliment will instantly sway the conversation in your favor. Keep it genuine, keep it real and say it from your heart.

7) Don't shy away from giving her a compliment

It is human nature to feel delighted when someone gives you a compliment. A girl is likely to smile and blush if you flatter her with a compliment. The trick is to make your compliment subtle and weave it into your very first conversation with her.

Don't make your compliment to her obnoxious and say something that sounds gracious as well as flirty. Sexual innuendos may work for movie stars on the silver screen but in real life there is nothing better than a genuine compliment to sweep a girl off her feet.

8) Don't let your first conversation be too serious

Humor is a top asset when it comes to flirting with a girl. If you can make her smile and laugh all the way, you are likely to walk away leaving a hot first impression. Use a peppy sense of humor to infuse a joke or a funny incident into your conversation with her.

You must also remember that it is absolutely fine if you are nervous and don't want to risk sounding lame by making a poor attempt at humor. But don't let your very first conversation be about a serious topic. For example you may ruin your chance with a woman if you start talking about how sick you were last month and the things you are doing to recuperate back to good health.

9) Don't let an awkward silence demoralize you

Without the nervousness and high energy ambience, flirting would be just another boring activity. The nervousness can often leave you with nothing to say which is very common even when a guy and girl hit it off with sparks flying.

Remind yourself that awkward silences have a permanent place in flirty conversations. Don't panic if your mind suddenly goes blank. Just keep looking into her eyes and let out a cheeky smile. You may even add a humorous touch to the moment by being honest and letting her know that her beautiful face has left you lost of words.

Don't get touchy feely straight away even if it is something as simple as holding hands. She may feel uncomfortable and back away.
Don't get touchy feely straight away even if it is something as simple as holding hands. She may feel uncomfortable and back away.

10) Don't get too touchy feely straight away

Just because you managed to strike up a conversation with a girl does not mean she will appreciate you putting your arm on her back or on the side of her waist. While that is a very romantic thing to do, it may not be welcome when you first start flirting with a girl.

You must reciprocate physical contact but don't go overboard. Reserve your inner romantic for another day and concentrate on your conversation for the time being. Make her feel comfortable, not the opposite.

11) Don't try to act any more or less of your age

If you are 19, act like a carefree teen without a worry in the world. Don't try to impress a girl by trying to act like a serious and mature 25 year old. Similarly if you are 30, don't try to woo your woman by acting like an irresponsible teenager.

Girls like guys who act their age and any weird behavior may be a turn off. When you approach a girl she expects you to walk, talk and behave your age, no more, no less.

12) Don't expect her to give you her number

The scene of a girl scribbling her number out on a piece of paper and sliding it into the hands of a handsome hunk may happen in the movies but seldom in real life. If you have just met a girl and you feel like asking her out later, stop expecting her to magically hand over her phone number.

Be a gentleman and ask her for her number and if you do it right, she will ask for yours too. Let her know that you will call or text her.


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    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Original and useful; have a great day.