How to Avoid Becoming a Bored Married Couple
Even if you aren’t yet a bored married couple, you should read this article. Avoiding boredom in marriage is crucial to a long-term relationship that can weather the good and the hard. If you’ve taken a look at the divorce statistics, you’ll see that you have a 50% shot of not making it.
Thankfully, avoiding boredom isn’t rocket science. Here are five key principles to keep your marriage exciting.
Let’s look at each one of them individually.
When you first met your beloved, the newness made everything seem exciting. It evoked feelings of love, fascination, and a sense of adventure. Once that ends, you can feel a natural dip in hormone levels. If you need some new adventure in your marriage, bring the element of surprise back into the relationship. Here are some ideas…
- Wear a new outfit or scent. The visual and olfactory stimulation will trick your partner’s brain into feeling that “new relationship” energy.
- Go away somewhere that neither of you are familiar with- a vacation, restaurant, or other locale.
- Surprise your partner with a gift of some sort.
- Act in a way that is out of character. If you usually wait for your partner to make the move, turn on your inner tiger.
There’s nothing like a good ol’ fashioned bet or board game to get those excitement hormones flowing. You can be as daring as you wish, as long as both partners are on board. Create a scenario where you and your spouse have to go at it- with a prize at the end.
- Board games
- Friendly bets
- Sports activities
Marriage is a lot of hard work. When each individual can happily be on his or her own- whether with friends, partaking in a hobby, or doing a community project or job, time spent away is not a bad thing.
This is of course if your marriage is reasonably solid. Spending time apart creates a sense of longing, of returning to comfort, and enjoying one another. The saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” is actually true!
Boredom creeps in when people get stuck in a rut. Ruts happen because you don’t speak up and make changes! Communication is the absolute bedrock of any relationship. It is necessary to communicate daily about more than the weather. You should have some time each day to discuss something meaningful.
There are entire books on communication and marriage. I suggest you pick one or two up- it'll help with all sorts of issues besides boredom.
Other marriage articles by Julie
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As humans, we’re made for adventure. It’s not always possible to skydive or repel off of a cliff, but you can do other things that add an element of risk into your marriage.
- Why not go skinny-dipping?
- Plan a trip to go white water rafting.
- Take a wild salsa dance class.
*Just make sure both parties are willing and enthusiastic!
Some boredom is inevitable
Try not to get into this mindset...
"Well we're bored and old and married, guess that's all there is," and then slump into a depression.
Life gets boring sometimes. It's inevitable. Look at it as a season THAT WILL END if you take care to inject some juice into your routine. Don't let negative thought patterns discourage you from trying new ideas. Eventually the bored season will end and you'll be back to your "lovery" selves in no time!