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How to Avoid Losing Yourself in A Relationship

Updated on June 24, 2017

For most people, they have this thinking of “when you commit yourself to your partner, that’s the moment where you feel like your world must revolve around her/him”. You want to make sure everything in your relationship is in the right place: you keep her/him happy and making sure – always, that his or her needs are met. There’s nothing wrong being this kind of a person, but don’t let yourself be submerged in the life of your partner. You also have your life and own business to take care too. You must find the balance between giving to your partner and holding onto yourself in the process.

If you feel that you become too involved in your relationship and your partner’s life, you are actually losing track of who you are. Learning to not lose yourself while you’re in a romantic relationship can be pretty hard in the beginning, but you will get used to it. There are ways to avoid this from happening, let’s find out!


  1. Don’t Become Too Dependent To Your Partner – Sometimes, when you’re in a romantic relationship, all you could think of is the love you have for your partner and how much you want them and depend on them being in your life. There are signs that you might not see like your relationship is your only source of happiness or you don’t hang out with your friends anymore. This dependence is not healthy in your relationship. Your happiness should not solely come from your partner or your relationship alone. To have a stable relationship, the both of you should hang out with other people.
  2. Have Your “Me Time” – There’s nothing wrong being by yourself every once in a while. In fact, having your “me-time” is healthy and it will keep you sane. You get to think clearly about yourself, your plans, your career and goals in life. If you value taking time out for yourself, it manifest that you value and respect yourself, when people around you see this, they will value and respect you in return.
  3. Spend Time With Your Friends, Without Your Partner – Undoubtedly, it is a good feeling when your partner and your friends get along and enjoy each other’s company. But there are times and events that your friends don’t always want your partner around when they are trying to hand out and catch up with you. There’s nothing if sometimes you go out on a date with your friends, just make him/her understand and allow him/her also to spend time with his own company without you. This is healthy in your relationship.
  4. Don’t Neglect Other Important Relationships – Aside from your circle of friends, you also have your own family. If you have plans with your family, don’t cancel it just because your partner can’t come along because of his/her schedule. A good relationship will definitely withstand you taking the time to honor commitments to people outside it. You can always go and spend quality time with your family even without him/her. In fact, sometimes, your family likes some alone time with you to catch up with your life.
  5. Don’t Let Your Relationship Take Over Your Life – Prior to entering into a romantic relationship, of course, you have a career and you have a hobby. Make sure to have a separate time with your partner and time spent doing things that you love most. Don’t give up activities that you like because he/she can’t do it or not interested in it. Still, focus on your career growth, your goal, and do your activities as usual.

In a typical relationship scenario, it is intense in the beginning. Don’t let your feeling of strong love for your partner to be the most important thing in your world.

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