- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
How to Be Cocky and Funny with Women but Not Be a Tool
Let's talk about your question...You asked if there ever comes a time when you
should move beyond and transcend the Cocky & Funny approach, is it because because women sometimes become nervous around them? Or they are nervous around you, or a little bit of both? Let me try to answer that with a few random points of view, that come to mind, and then I'll try and tie it all together with my general perspective, and point of view...
First, let assume that you have cultivated a strong, confident, dominant body language and good skills in communication that has become what you might call you inner cockiness.
As a result, you don't have to mix quite as much cockiness in the actual verbal conversations that you're having. If you project too much of the inner cockiness, while at the same time using overly-cocky words and euphemisms...oh well, you might come off as insecure or inevitably as too flipant and arrogant. Now I don't say things like this very often, because most guys are so far from being too cocky, and actually have more lack of confidence. And truth is that there's almost nothing at all they could do to project even close to enough of that inner cocky side most of the time..
Secondly if there is a particular situation that comes up for guys who have a strong physical presence, or guys who are naturally very handsome.If these guys are too cocky with women, manywomen get a first impression that is basically that you are inherently a jerk. And that you must be even worse, Be careful. It might backfire on you. And most likely it already has.
Thridly, if a woman is getting nervous around you, it does not necessarily mean that you're doing something wrong. Just think about how you used to feel when you were in the presence of a super-hot woman. Most guys become extremely overly nervous in these
types of situations... so much so that they are actually immobilized, and unable to act. If a beautiful fashion model wrote in to me and told me that guys get nervous around her all
the time... and then she asked if she should somehow tone down how she looks so guys wouldn't become nervous, I'd respond to her and say "Hell no. You want guys to become nervous around you because it separates the real men from the wussies, and the flakes...".
In your case, these women are becoming nervous
because THEY don't know how to handle the
situation... which is not a problem at all for
you or for the ATTRACTION she's feeling.
Look, you are becoming a POWERFUL MAN.
You are beginning to realize and cultivate
some of the natural potential that you've always
had inside... you just didn't know how to get at
Success and power often scare people, because
with success and power comes responsibility.
You realize that you're not a victim in your
life anymore, and you begin to see how you can
take control of almost every aspect of your
life... and then you begin to see that people
want to FOLLOW your lead because you have this
It is magnetic, as you mentioned.
To answer your question directly, and connect
all of these things together, I think that you
need to realize that Cocky & Funny can be thought
of in a lot of ways...
It's a concept, an idea. It's a technique,
with specific "comebacks" and "lines" for
different funny situations. It's a tool to use
for creating Sexual Tension and Chemistry with
But, as far as I'm concerned, it's FUN... it's
something that's enjoyable for the man AND the
And for most guys, it's very natural (once you
become comfortable with it).
I mean, if you like to think in terms of
things being "transcended" in life, we could just
say that you're on the path to transcend
everything, and the faster you can transcend your
need to be with women, the better off you are...
...but, then again, that might be going a
little too far... lol.