- Gender and Relationships»
I Want to Become a Good Husband/Wife
The Modern Times
Nowadays the definition of marriage, its ideology changed a lot than what it was in the past. Currently the institution named 'Marriage' demands a lot from its followers. Neither it is the archaic concept where marriage binds two people where the male becomes the breadwinner and the female becomes the housekeeper nor it is any more only the legal means to produce offspring. Now marriage has become lot more complex and sensitive. It requires a lot of right spirit and tactfulness to continue a successful married relationship.
Let me give you some examples. Some days ago I saw my friend Dora at the airport. I got to know from her that she is currently stationed in Houston whereas her husband Deep is in Muscat. I got to know from our common friends that both of them are staying apart from each other for more than one year due work reasons still both of them are very much in love with each.
Let me give you another example of one of my cousin who got married to a girl recently with whom he had relationship for the past five years but unfortunately the marriage failed to last more than six months. They have filed for mutual divorce, stating mental incompatibility to be the prime reason for the separation.
I am very perplexed. What led to the decision of separation of these couple who were very much in love with each other just few days back. How come their love frizzle out so fast! How come their passion and affection for each other wither out so early! On the other hand if I considers Dora's case I cannot understand what held them back together even when they are away from each other for such a long time!
Married by Choice and Not by Complusion
To quote Friedrich Nietzsche, "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages".
Married life can face stagnation any time and just like stagnant water can collect dirt and become murky in the same way a stagnant married life can invite serious hazards in near future. A marriage not only brings two people closer to each other but it also unites the two families. An entire set of people start their new journey of responsibility, love, sharing and bonding.
It is not at all an easy task as it seems. There are various obstacles and impediments that lie strewn in the way of a successful marriage. Everybody in the family is responsible for a successful married relationship to continue smoothly but the actual acid test is faced by the two most important people in a married relationship, the husband and the wife.
From the day one of the marriage it is important for the newly weds to shoulder their new-found responsibilities seriously. It is very important to handle certain delicate issues with a lot of sensitivity which can otherwise lead to disastrous consequences.
We all see that a time comes when caring for such issues we actually lose out the charm of our married relationship. The relationship turns out to be tedious, boring and monotonous. A time also comes when we try to break free out of it. Such a phase in marriage is called stagnant period when such two people remain married out of compulsion and not out of choice. Their love, respect and affection for each other have died a long time ago and its consequences affect those people who are closest to such couple; to be precise their children.
Some people cannot cope up with such drudgery any further and choose to separate from each other which can actually affect multiple lives. This fiasco can be avoided if precautions are to be taken from beforehand from both the sides.
There are certain simple guidelines which are to be followed that can eventually help you to become a perfect partner to your wife/husband.
How to Become a Good Husband
- The first and foremost thing that a wife complains about her husband is that he does not pay heed to what she says. Well then the first and foremost duty of a husband is to be attentive to what his wife has to say to him.
- Managing a household is not at all an easy task for the wife alone. Moreover nowadays when both of them are working outside it is the responsibility of a husband to lend a helping hand in the household chores.
- Husbands, you all should be aware that one thing your wives expect from you is "love". Love can become a potent tool of communication between you two. Show your wife that you love her not only by having sex with her regularly but by caring for her, caring for her needs, showing your concern for her, praising her efforts in public and by giving respect to her. By this way she will definitely feel that she is special to you.
- Try to develop common interests. If your wife loves gardening, try to help her out at least once in a week. If your wife loves dancing, you two can easily enroll for a dance class together. Even by watching one of your wife's favorite daily soaps together you can actually spend some quality time with her. By this way you will not only share some happy moments together but also will get to know each other better.
- Make your wife participate in important financial discussions. By this way she will only not feel herself to be an important member of the family but she will also be aware about the present financial scenario of the family.
- Whenever you hurt her feelings knowingly or unknowingly, apologize immediately. Never let ego come in-between you two and deteriorate the relationship further.
- Give her surprise gifts whenever possible. A girl loves to get gifts and if you at least manage to give her surprise gifts on her special days like her birthdays and anniversaries then nothing can be better than that. She will be thrilled and excited and this can even spice up your relationship.
- Lastly leave a scope for open communication. Never hold yourself back or never try to hide anything from your wife. Openly discuss any serious issue that you are facing. She can definitely come up with some helpful ideas. Her advice and feedback can actually help you out.
How to Become a Good Wife
- First and foremost show your husband some respect both inside the house and in public. Never ever try to humiliate him or make fun of him in public. This can actually hurt his male ego and he can in turn become aggressive towards you.
- Be affectionate to him. Do something that your husband likes the most. At least once in a week you can cook his favorite food. We all know that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
- Be sensible. Do not nag in front of him whenever he comes back from office. If you have anything to say find the opportune moment and speak to him. By always complaining and grumbling in front of him you are actually repelling him away from you.
- Do not coax your husband into having any physical intimacy with you if he doesn't feel to do so. He might be tired or stressed out at that moment. Rather always maintain a good physical touch with him like holding his hands, kissing his forehead or by hugging him. It will definitely help to reduce his stress and make him feel loved.
- Show some interest in your husband's hobbies. If he loves to play tennis, try to play with him. You can also watch his favorite soccer match with him and cheer his favorite team. By this way you two can spend quality time together.
- Give your man his own space. Let him spend at least one day a week with his own friends. By this way he can actually refresh himself.
- Try to be thankful to your husband for his honest efforts. If he gives you a gift and you do not like it, never say it on his face. Rather show him that you are grateful for his gesture. It will make your man happy.
- Try to groom yourself and keep yourself updated. Always maintain personal hygiene, always keep yourself well polished so that you look good in your husband's eyes. Moreover try to keep yourself abreast with current affairs of the world which will in turn make your discussions with your husband all the more interesting and exciting.
What does it take to be happily married ever after
What is the secret of your happy marriage?
Marriage does not have a rulebook that you have to abide by. Still, by following at least some of these basic tips you can bring love, joy and happiness in your relationship and enjoy a blissfully happy married life.
© 2014 Deblina Banerjee