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How to Break up With a Girl: How to Leave Your Girlfriend

Updated on May 21, 2020
Rui Carreira profile image

Rui Carreira is an entertainment buff who writes about a myriad of different things... one of them being lists.

Relationship Advice: Breaking Up With Your Girlfriend

This hub will cover a difficult topic in life, that most guys go through. You know when it goes wrong, but sometimes you just don't know what's the best way to break up with a girl. Well, I had my share of breaking ups, so let me tell you what I've learned.

I'm also going to tell you IF you should break up and how to get your girl back if you regret it: Just make sure that you are not playing her, I don't want to help ill-intended people.

Finally, know that breaking up is almost never easy, especially in longer relationships, but sometimes it is the best choice you can make while other times it leaves you with a feeling of lightness and freedom you haven't felt for a long time.


Should I Break Up With My Girlfriend? That Depends on the Reason

One of the main questions that haunt your mind when you consider this option is "Should I break up?". Well, I'll help you with it.

There are three main components in relationships that you should consider: Love, Friendship, and Attraction!

To have a worthy better half you should be in tune in all these 3 distinct areas, or at least you must have a solvable problem. If your problem in one of these areas, or in any of these areas, isn't solvable - if you think it will remain there forever - then you should break up. It's as simple as that.

A good relationship is one that you look at these 3 components and find out you fill all of them: You have a girl that is not only your lover but your best friend.

If you aren't in tune, then one of you - or possibly both - will always be unhappy: And that just can't be.

If you think you're not meant to grow old together, then do break up!

However, if you just miss being able to tap other girls or to sleep around, don't do it. We, humans, are polygamous by nature, but there are a lot more benefits on being together with someone than single and sleeping around.

Frankly, I don't have the time to go into the underlying scientifically proven data, but there's no substitute for being in a long-term relationship with someone, and build a family with them.

However, guys can't help having that impulse to sleep with other women, and so sometimes a woman blinks back and he gets crazy over her and thinks about breaking up - happens tons of times to everyone, but it's all hormones and endorphins, don't get tricked by your primitive programming... trust me, it isn't worth it. If this is the reason why you're planning to break up, don't and you won't regret it after some time has passed and you think back on it.

If you do it and you tap the other woman, you'll see it was a temporary thing and it didn't change you all that much.

Breaking Up Relationships with Women or Girls: Be Kind, Give Valid Reasons, Do It in Person and Give Her a Place to Flee To

Breaking up is never easy, but respect these steps and you did your best:

  • Be kind: She is suffering, try to be kind and understanding
  • Justify: Don't use a cliché sentence, make her understand why it doesn't work and why she will be happier without you.
  • Reasons: Don't dare to hand out shallow or insufficient reasons, when you go break up make sure you have powerful and understandable reasons for it
  • Physical: Don't break up via a friend, text message, phone, online, etc... no other mean works - just personal chatter
  • Public Places: DON'T break up in public places, pick a place where you will be alone and uninterrupted.
  • Flee: When you are done, she will try to run or hide, so break up on a place she is comfortable in - like her place, so you are the one to leave and she is in her comfort zone.

You should always try to place yourself on her shoes, try to be kind and understanding, but be clear that it is over. One of the most important aspects is making sure you are alone in a place she is comfortable in, don't drag her out of her comfort zone to break up with her.

Regardless of all of this, it won't be easy I know, but be sure to follow these guidelines.

How To Get Your Girlfriend Back After a Break Up:

How to get your girlfriend back after a breakup? Oh boy, you surely made a wrong move this time.

I mean, why did you broke up with her in the first place? Why would you want to go back together? It didn't work the first time around, what makes you think it will work this time?

Sorry for all of the questions, but this is a topic that would give a new article on its own! If you broke up with her to be with another girl and you had your fun or she rejected you and you now want to go back to your ex-girlfriend - sorry, I won't help you out! In fact, my advice to you is to "grow up and be a man". Don't be a baddy!

Now, for those of you that broke up on a legit reason and know it will pay back to go back to their girlfriends here is the tip: Ask her to meet with you somewhere privately and talk to her eye to eye!

You don't want to talk to her via text message or online, and certainly not with the company, so man up and face her. Explain why you need her back and why you were wrong when you broke up with her.

Pro Tip: Clearly state that you were mistaken and that you are dumb and that you totally deserve to be forgotten, but that you had to try and get her back. Be humble and devoted.

On the other hand, if you just committed the mistake of breaking up, sleeping with someone else, and then want to get back, forget about it, she doesn't deserve it. Pay the price for your escapade, be a man.

Dating After Break Up Depression: I Keep Comparing My Girlfriend / Wife to My Ex

If when you break up with your girl you figure you're fine, then great! If not, this is very common and it is called "Break Up Depression". Yeap, there's a name for that.

Break up depression might manifest itself in several ways: You may feel you "feel" awesome and just want to go party and get a rebound girlfriend: This isn't you thinking clearly, you need to slow down. It can manifest itself by making you feel you will remain forever alone, that you have no interest, or that you can't trust anyone. These are all common problems after breaking up.

What you have to do is: Take your time!

Simple as that, you must take your time to let it heal. Don't avoid talking about it, don't act so strong and impervious to everything. Let yourself go with the wind and you will get back on your feet lightning fast!

If you broke up, it is because she wasn't the right girl for you - the right one will appear! And you will trust her.... and be happy.

Finally, know that you're bound to compare your wife or girlfriend to your ex... it's just natural. Finally, you'll also know that one was better at this, the other was better at that, and that's natural too.

The key is to have the one that is overall better or at least look for one that has the things you're looking for. Don't fret over one field in which your ex was better, she more than made up for them in the ones that ground your gears.

Trust me on this!

A Woman's Opinion on Breaking Up With Someone:

I need to know

What's the harder part?

See results

I'm in Love With My Girlfriend But Still Want to Have Other Women:

Don't get fooled by the people telling you you're a terrible person because of this, or those who say you don't really love your wife or girlfriend.

This happens to every single man on the face of the Earth simply because that's the way our brains are wired. To reproduce the most we can and give the species continuity.

A REAL MAN is a man who feels this impulse and has enough morals, ethics, and self-respect to not fall slave to it.

Be a man and tame the primitive in you, you're better than that, you don't have to scoop low just because you want a different face on the pillow.

I wrote this section to assure you this is normal, and you shouldn't feel bad or guilty about it, it's biology and you only need to feel guilty if you act on this impulse.

Comments

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    • Rui Carreira profile imageAUTHOR

      Rui Carreira 

      7 years ago from Torres Novas

      Thanks for the kind comment and for stopping by Esther!

    • Rui Carreira profile imageAUTHOR

      Rui Carreira 

      7 years ago from Torres Novas

      Hello Rosana, Thank you for stopping by on my hub and for the comment. Kisses

    • Rosana Modugno profile image

      Rosana Modugno 

      7 years ago from 11th Kingdom

      Interesting hub, Rui. I like that it was from a man's point of view. Thumbs up.

    • Rui Carreira profile imageAUTHOR

      Rui Carreira 

      7 years ago from Torres Novas

      Oh, and I'm far from mastering it!

    • actionbronson profile image

      actionbronson 

      7 years ago

      great thread my friend! Definitely not an easy task!

    • The Dirt Farmer profile image

      Jill Spencer 

      7 years ago from United States

      Oh no, Rui. I think I'm just a bad communicator! Take it easy, Jill

    • Rui Carreira profile imageAUTHOR

      Rui Carreira 

      7 years ago from Torres Novas

      Ahaha... Can't believe you married the guy after breaking up 3 times ON THE PHONE... boy oh boy, he must really love you then, seeing as you were such a baddie

    • The Dirt Farmer profile image

      Jill Spencer 

      7 years ago from United States

      Rui, this hub looks great and has really good advice--for both men and women. Years ago, I broke up with a guy over the phone three times--or I thought I'd broken up with him. But he kept calling me, every night, at the same time as if nothing had happened. I ended up marrying him! Miss you on the team, dude. Will share this one on HP.

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