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How to Deal With a Grumpy Husband During Traffic

Updated on April 16, 2014
grand old lady profile image

Mona writes a column for Enrich Magazine which is distributed in five countries. She is interested in learning as she writes.

Making the most in being trapped in traffic with a grumpy husband

Some people have very little patience with traffic. And some countries, like the Philippines, has traffic that can get horrendous. My husband hates traffic. It can get so bad that he gets REALLY GRUMPY and it can bring me down.

Being trapped with a grumpy husband in a car amid horrific traffic is no fun. My friend told me she usually keeps quiet so she won’t make things worse. Then when she gets home, she calls a friend to vent.

What does your partner do when you are stuck in traffic? Some partners sulk, make long, loud, deliberately within-your-notice sighs, others curse, and still others find ways to blame you for the traffic. Ok, sometimes they’re right, but what good will a blame game do at a time like this?


Boys Hitch a Free Ride on a Jeep

Street kids like to hitch rides on jeeps by standing on the step or hanging on without sitting anywhere.
Street kids like to hitch rides on jeeps by standing on the step or hanging on without sitting anywhere. | Source

Tips to make a grumpy husband less grumpy

Here are some things I have done when my husband is grumpy because we are stuck in traffic:

1. Turn on his favorite music in the radio.

2. Tune out. Bring your mp3 and listen to your favorite music.

3. Gossip about something you know he is interested in. Gossip about your daughter and her boyfriend, or your daughter’s friends whom you both happen to know. That usually works.

4. Tell him to get car eyelashes for the car. Make him believe you really want it.

5. Very seriously recommend to him that he will look really hot if he has Steven Tyler hair.

6. Sing a squeaky version of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” When I do this my husband agrees to anything I want, just to get me to stop.

7. Tell him your big, non-pregnant tummy (old people have that), is actually your third boob.

8. Tell him your third boob is similar to a third eye and it is sensitive to overwhelming presences.

9. Act grumpier. Then he will know he has to shape up or you will make his life hell.

10. Take a nap. If you’re not sleepy, pretend you’re taking a nap.

11..Entice him intellectually by telling him that traffic is a cultural experience.

I am adding a 12th option, but this is one that my sister who lives with her husband in the US does. I don’t know if it works in making her husband less grumpy, but I think it’s got zap.

11. Open your palm so that your five fingers are pointing at the traffic. Place your hand directly within the vision of your husband while he’s driving. He will understand that you are a witch with magic powers, and the traffic is actually moving because you are making them do so telekinetically.

The Magical Traffic Moving Hand

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The Magic Hand
The Magic Hand
The Magic Hand | Source

Sometimes A Cop Can Add Levity to Traffic

Grumpiness test

Does your husband get grumpy during traffic?

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    • grand old lady profile image
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      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 8 months ago from Philippines

      How wonderful to hear from you Mr Mel:). If you drove in the Philippines you would discover new heights of grumpiness that you never imagined possible. Maybe if ever there is an age of car levitation, you can drive in the Philippines and not mind. But if every car was levitating, it might be a different disaster altogether. So it would be best that you only drive on Sunday. Nobody drives on Sunday, that's the secret.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 8 months ago from San Diego California

      Southern California traffic is bad, but it is nothing like the narrow lanes and bumpy asphalt of your country. The only thing that compares to it around here is Tijuana, where I have driven, and learned to tell the tale. At least you good folks drive on the right side, where all God-fearing people should.

      I found this a delightful, entertaining list. None of the techniques would work on me, however. Whenever I am forced to drive through Los Angeles nothing can stop my grumpiness. Great hub!

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 18 months ago from Philippines

      Good point LadyGuitar Picker. In fact, I wonder if ANYONE should be driving in the Philippines. Traffic is a cultural experience. Maybe we need modified drones.

    • ladyguitarpicker profile image

      stella vadakin 18 months ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

      I am thinking number 9 is the best think I can do. I would never let my husband drive in the Philippines, I hope there are lots of cabs and buses.

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 2 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you Arun Kanti! I totally agree with you.

    • ARUN KANTI profile image

      ARUN KANTI CHATTERJEE 2 years ago from KOLKATA

      I have thoroughly enjoyed going through your hub. Tackling grumpy persons requires great tact which you must have adequately. I do hope that all those who easily get irritated easily will read your hub and change their ways! Thank you for the excellent hub.

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 2 years ago from Philippines

      Jackie Lynnley, I know what you mean. Traffic sucks. Glad your husband is learning to deal with it, however. Thanks for the visit:).

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Great and funny tips. My husband use to be really mean in a traffic jam but the last couple years I get panic attacks (or near if not) so he is pretty good to be light and prevent that! lol We do our best to avoid this situation though so it doesn't happen often.

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 2 years ago from Philippines

      Hi Starme, you are so lucky that you can just tune them out. I can't! My husband will make these loud long sighs and complain and complain. You have a gift and you sure are blessed. I would love to be able to tune out all the noise in the world. Thanks for visiting:)

    • starme77 profile image

      starme77 2 years ago

      I liked the tune them out idea :) seriously, I just tell them its nothing to build your blood pressure up over , its just traffic haha

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks Lisa HW. The acting grumpier strategy can either work or fail miserably. Before I married, I tried this strategy on a former boyfriend and my getting grumpier only raised his grumpiness to incendiary levels. With my husband it's so much easier. I get uber grumpy and then he tries to placate me by calming down. Thank God I married a better man:)

    • Lisa HW profile image

      Lisa HW 3 years ago from Massachusetts

      Very cute (and funny) Hub. :) One of my favorite ones is the one you wrote about "acting grumpier" (I needed a chuckle this morning, so I'm glad I found your Hub. :) )

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Lol:)

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      You'll regroup - I have faith in you already!

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks Kathleen,

      That's a pretty wide berth you've given to your description of traffic in Atlanta:) It leaves me quite speechless!

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Enjoyed this one! I live in Atlanta, Georgia, where we've elevated traffic either to an art form or to the third ring of hell. Interesting to hear comment from others around the globe.

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Silent Reed, yes, that's Binondo. We had to go to Manila Doctors, missed our turn and ended up all the way there until we managed to make a U turn and go back.....

    • SilentReed profile image

      SilentReed 4 years ago from Philippines

      Sometimes it's the wife who is the grumpy driver while her hen-pecked husband sit quietly by her side.:) This hub made me smile when I think about the times we were caught up in traffic as I sat quietly on the passenger side.:( BTW...is that a picture of Binondo in chinatown? Anyone caught up there in traffic can get grumpy:)

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you Lindalou1963:) You are so lucky not to have to deal with traffic. It must be so great getting around in a small town.

    • lindalou1963 profile image

      Linda 4 years ago from Texas

      This is very funny! I know what traffic is but don't see much of it here, I live in a small town. Thankfully!

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Pennyofheaven,

      Traffic in New Zealand would be road heaven in the Philippines:)

    • pennyofheaven profile image

      pennyofheaven 4 years ago from New Zealand

      Yes it is relative. You are right unless there is an accident traffic does move at least at snail pace it does. I am glad you enjoyed your stay in NZ and hope you make it back one day. Glad our weather behaved. I will be sure to tell him never drive in the Philippines! That could be another thing I could say. .... Hey you should be glad you're not in the Philippines. Then again that probably won't work haha. Much rather use your creative ideas! Very nice to meet you Grand old lady. It is a pleasure.

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you Pennyof heaven:) Although when I was in New Zealand, I saw absolutely no traffic. I realize the concept of traffic is relative. My brother in law in Washington DC calls "traffic" something we would call "moving." To us, traffic means full stop, and one big general mess! In New Zealand we visited many places and the roads were lovely and the weather was wonderful. Just tell your hubby to never drive in the Philippines, hahahahah

    • pennyofheaven profile image

      pennyofheaven 4 years ago from New Zealand

      This is too funny. Great ideas! What is it with men and traffic? I often say to mine. If we are going home. You sure are in a hurry to get nowhere fast, why is that? Your suggestions are probably more useful. Awesome!

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks Philiden, I wouldn't be surprised if you already know some of my cousins over there. We are a humungous tribe:)

    • philliden profile image

      philliden 4 years ago

      It goes to show that traffic jam brings out the worst in you.:) We have the same roots then (as Cebuanos). I hope this is a start of a fruitful relationship. It's not always that I get to know people like you.

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Dear Philiden,

      Thank you so much! You seem to be the second person to talk about dealing with a backseat driver. I guess while women think of men as notorious during traffic, we don't realize that we are notorious to them:) Welcome to Hubpages. I read one of your articles and you have started strong. BTW I have many relatives in Cebu, since my parents are from there:)

    • philliden profile image

      philliden 4 years ago

      I love this hub. I can relate with your situation so well (I also live in the Philippines). I am in Cebu and the traffic situation here is not as bad as Manila, I suppose you live there. But, I still get to see all of these vehicles that could really add up to the jam. However, the problem is that I am the driver, and I have a "grumpy wife" for a passenger. I wish I could do all of these in the car.

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Dear Lawrence,

      Lol!!!!! Well, I have no advice for House Boss but you have described her extraordinarily:)

    • Lawrence Da-vid profile image

      Lawrence Da-vid 4 years ago

      Dear "Grand!" If you think for one instant that your husband gets grumpy in traffic, he should match "House Boss." Her side seat driving makes everyone nervous. If and when I put her behind the wheel, as I do regularly, you should hear the "vent" toward fellow drivers. "Ms. Perfect in every way," can make a sailor blush sometimes with her venting. "thank heavens for Bose" head phones while I ride. One thing is evident when she drives, I just wish our car had a second brake on the passenger side. By the way!!!!!I've nicknamed her "bullet."

    • grand old lady profile image
      Author

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Pamel-anne,

      Thank you for your kind words:) If your Dad hates traffic you must warn him to never, never drive in the Philippines. We have jeeps, trucks, container vans, calesas (horse drawn carriages), carabaos pulling wagons filled with household items made of straw, tricycles, bicycles, motorcycles, children walking through the streets selling cigarettes, and the like. I have come to enjoy the madness....but your father may never quite get acculturated.

    • Pamela-anne profile image

      Pamela-anne 4 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

      Loved your hub and great suggestions it reminds me of sitting in the back of my parents car;if my dads driving and some other driver does something to make him angry he starts cursing at the driver who by the way is long gone and can't hear him but we sure do! Thanks for sharing take care pam.

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