How to Handle and Deal With a Nagging Wife
You're worked hard all week, and are finally getting a chance to relax on the weekend. You sprawl on the couch and turn the pre-game show on. Then you hear it. Nag, nag, nag. Sometimes you can tune it out, but sometimes it can be difficult to get away from it.
You even get some advice from your well meaning friends about how you can escape from all that bothersome nagging.
It seems like you have tried everything. What should you do about your wife's nagging?
It turns out your wife doesn't really like to nag, despite evidence to the contrary. Getting her to stop is very easy. Your wife will probably be more than willing to help you find ways to turn the nagging off. She's on your side on this.
Here is some advice on how to get your wife to stop nagging.
Because she is your wife, you are potentially going to be spending the rest of your life with her. Yes, you can ignore her requests, and walk away and get some short term relief. But since she doesn't like to nag, and you don't like to be nagged, isn't it better to find a more permanent solution, once and for all?
The best way to handle nagging is to listen to what she tells you. It is possible that she may be telling you something that you are not hearing. If she expects you to take out the trash every time it gets full, and you only hear that she wants you to take out the trash now, then the next time it gets full, she will be angry that you aren't taking it out on your own accord.
Discuss it with her. If her requests are unreasonable, talk to her and work out a more reasonable solution. If you don't like doing something, tell her. Maybe you can switch some tasks, or hire out a particular job. It is just possible that she just needs to see something from your viewpoint. Maybe she needs a reminder of the things you do around the house.
Your wife works hard too, and as a fellow adult in your house, she expects you to do your share of the work that it takes to keep up the household running. She doesn't want to be taken for granted and treated like a servant.
What is your fair share? I don't know; that is up to the two of you to negotiate. If you feel like she is asking you to do more than you are willing to do, instead of ignoring her, communicate with her and come up with a solution that works for both of you.
Be Your Own Boss
When you agree to do something at work, you are expected to do it within a reasonable time frame. Why would it be any different at home? Your wife does not want to manage you and make sure that you do what you are expected to do. She would prefer that you do your job without prodding, just like you expect her to do her share without you having to manage her.
Just say no
If you find that a task is more than you want to do, even if you are fully capable of doing it, it is all right to hire someone else to do it. Sometimes it is just easier to have someone else handle the task. You sometimes eat out even though you can cook at home, don't you? Hire someone. Your wife probably just wants the task done, and if you hire someone, you will get as much credit as if you did the task itself. Your wife will be relieved that the task is done and it is one thing she does not have to put on her to-do list to monitor.
If you don't want to do it or hire someone, you can even tell your wife that you are not willing to do the task. Do remember though that when you say no, you are putting the burden of getting the task done on her. She might be angry at first that you said no, but now that she knows the task is squarely on her shoulders, she can move on to plan B and do it herself or get someone else to do it. The pain of waiting for someone to do something is much worse than the initial pain of hearing the word no. Don't promise what you are not willing to deliver.
Deliver What You Promised
To avoid nagging, simply do what you have promised to do in a reasonable time frame. You may be okay with leaving the task incomplete for days on end, but she has to deal with it every day. Now, not only does she have the problem she had initially, she has the added burden of waiting for you to do it, and the responsibility of reminding you to do it. The task weighs on her mind and the only solution she has is to remind you to do it. She feels obligated to wait for you because you will be upset if she doesn't. It may make her feel unloved that you aren't honoring what to her seems like a simple request.
Then, as she keeps reminding you over and over again by nagging, you may feel like it has become a power struggle - like she is telling you what to do and when to do it. If you do as you promised when you promised it, then you retain the power, instead of handing it to her in the first place.
Just like men and children like to be appreciated for their efforts, so do women. Make sure you let your wife know that you appreciate all the work she does for you and the household. If you show her that she is appreciated, she may be willing to do even more for you.
Stop That Nagging Once and For All
There is nothing sexier for a woman than a man who is doing something that makes her life better. When you fix something that is broken, or save her the time or energy of doing some work, your wife will have more energy and time to pay attention to you.
Stop the nagging once and for all by promising what you can deliver, and deliver what you promise. Communicating with your wife will bring both of you closer together and make your married life much happier since it won't have as much nagging.
Oh and if all this doesn't work, then share How to Avoid Being a Nagging Wife with her.