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How to Handle and Deal With a Nagging Wife

Updated on April 8, 2012

You're worked hard all week, and are finally getting a chance to relax on the weekend. You sprawl on the couch and turn the pre-game show on. Then you hear it. Nag, nag, nag. Sometimes you can tune it out, but sometimes it can be difficult to get away from it.

You even get some advice from your well meaning friends about how you can escape from all that bothersome nagging.

It seems like you have tried everything. What should you do about your wife's nagging?

It turns out your wife doesn't really like to nag, despite evidence to the contrary. Getting her to stop is very easy. Your wife will probably be more than willing to help you find ways to turn the nagging off. She's on your side on this.

Here is some advice on how to get your wife to stop nagging.

Listening to a woman nagging at you every day can get old really fast.
Listening to a woman nagging at you every day can get old really fast. | Source


Because she is your wife, you are potentially going to be spending the rest of your life with her. Yes, you can ignore her requests, and walk away and get some short term relief. But since she doesn't like to nag, and you don't like to be nagged, isn't it better to find a more permanent solution, once and for all?

The best way to handle nagging is to listen to what she tells you. It is possible that she may be telling you something that you are not hearing. If she expects you to take out the trash every time it gets full, and you only hear that she wants you to take out the trash now, then the next time it gets full, she will be angry that you aren't taking it out on your own accord.

Discuss it with her. If her requests are unreasonable, talk to her and work out a more reasonable solution. If you don't like doing something, tell her. Maybe you can switch some tasks, or hire out a particular job. It is just possible that she just needs to see something from your viewpoint. Maybe she needs a reminder of the things you do around the house.


Your wife works hard too, and as a fellow adult in your house, she expects you to do your share of the work that it takes to keep up the household running. She doesn't want to be taken for granted and treated like a servant.

What is your fair share? I don't know; that is up to the two of you to negotiate. If you feel like she is asking you to do more than you are willing to do, instead of ignoring her, communicate with her and come up with a solution that works for both of you.

Be Your Own Boss

When you agree to do something at work, you are expected to do it within a reasonable time frame. Why would it be any different at home? Your wife does not want to manage you and make sure that you do what you are expected to do. She would prefer that you do your job without prodding, just like you expect her to do her share without you having to manage her.

Just say no

If you find that a task is more than you want to do, even if you are fully capable of doing it, it is all right to hire someone else to do it. Sometimes it is just easier to have someone else handle the task. You sometimes eat out even though you can cook at home, don't you? Hire someone. Your wife probably just wants the task done, and if you hire someone, you will get as much credit as if you did the task itself. Your wife will be relieved that the task is done and it is one thing she does not have to put on her to-do list to monitor.

If you don't want to do it or hire someone, you can even tell your wife that you are not willing to do the task. Do remember though that when you say no, you are putting the burden of getting the task done on her. She might be angry at first that you said no, but now that she knows the task is squarely on her shoulders, she can move on to plan B and do it herself or get someone else to do it. The pain of waiting for someone to do something is much worse than the initial pain of hearing the word no. Don't promise what you are not willing to deliver.

Deliver What You Promised

To avoid nagging, simply do what you have promised to do in a reasonable time frame. You may be okay with leaving the task incomplete for days on end, but she has to deal with it every day. Now, not only does she have the problem she had initially, she has the added burden of waiting for you to do it, and the responsibility of reminding you to do it. The task weighs on her mind and the only solution she has is to remind you to do it. She feels obligated to wait for you because you will be upset if she doesn't. It may make her feel unloved that you aren't honoring what to her seems like a simple request.

Then, as she keeps reminding you over and over again by nagging, you may feel like it has become a power struggle - like she is telling you what to do and when to do it. If you do as you promised when you promised it, then you retain the power, instead of handing it to her in the first place.


Just like men and children like to be appreciated for their efforts, so do women. Make sure you let your wife know that you appreciate all the work she does for you and the household. If you show her that she is appreciated, she may be willing to do even more for you.

Stop That Nagging Once and For All

There is nothing sexier for a woman than a man who is doing something that makes her life better. When you fix something that is broken, or save her the time or energy of doing some work, your wife will have more energy and time to pay attention to you.

Stop the nagging once and for all by promising what you can deliver, and deliver what you promise. Communicating with your wife will bring both of you closer together and make your married life much happier since it won't have as much nagging.

Oh and if all this doesn't work, then share How to Avoid Being a Nagging Wife with her.


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    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 4 years ago from USA

      Thanks Sid. I was very happy to find the photo. It can be a pain to have to deal with nagging, but there are ways to break the cycle. Nobody likes to be nagged, and really, people don't like to be a nag.

    • SidKemp profile image

      Sid Kemp 4 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

      This is all good advice. Communication and keeping the commitments we make (and not making commitments we wont' keep) are a solution to nagging and to many other problems. And it works best when it goes both ways.

      I love the photo! The old woman's nagging mouth is painful to see, but there is beauty underneath.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 6 years ago from USA

      Thank you Audrey and Sunshine. This is an issue so many couples face. Audrey, husbands certainly do need to listen and follow through. Being a nag is no fun. Sunshine, I wrote a hub for the wives as well - I don't think wives like to nag, but some do tend to have very high expectations which they keep raising as long as their husbands comply.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      You have some very valid points! Communication is vital in relationships. I pity the men who even though they try their best they wives still nag them because they just like to nag. Voted UP!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 6 years ago from California

      This is such a wonderful hub! I love that you ask husbands to listen and to follow through--thank you!

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 6 years ago from USA

      Thank you Donna. I wrote it in response to another hub I read about how to get away from your nagging wife, and other articles of a similar vein. Hopefully this hub gives husbands tools they can use and maintain a relationship with their wives. I also wrote a separate hub for the wives.

    • DonnaCosmato profile image

      Donna Cosmato 6 years ago from USA

      That really is an excellent picture, Millionaire Tips. These are really good tips because they focus on the positive of building the relationship through communication.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 6 years ago from USA

      Thanks poetvix. Those are great tips. I think I might save the pie or cake for after the chore was done though, just in case.

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 6 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      I think communicating with husbands will always be difficult but if I really want something done it's best to ask nicely while handing over a piece of cake or pie. Oh yes, and not when there are sports on or he's gaming! Dinner time is the best time. I love the advice and the picture is priceless.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 6 years ago from USA

      LOL The Frog Prince. They do make decorative duct tape now. I am sure it would look really pretty.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Would a gag do any good or maybe some duct tape? LOL

      The Frog

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 6 years ago from USA

      Thank you alissa. I was happy to find that photo. You're right, we need to ease up, be more patient, and work at communicating better with our husbands.

    • alissaroberts profile image

      Alissa Roberts 6 years ago from Normandy, TN

      First of all - that picture is priceless! Now I am wondering if this is how I appear to my hubby when I start nagging him. Great tips for both men and women - sometimes us ladies just need to relax and communicate our needs instead of expecting them to read our minds. Great hub - voted up and awesome!