ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Deal with Cheating

Updated on February 19, 2015

Before you write that Dear John Letter...

Source

It's not about "fault"

The Cause...

A commonly misunderstood part about infidelity within relationships is that cheating is NEVER the cause for a the problem. Cheating is only a symptom of a BIGGER problem. It doesn't matter if you are the one cheating, or they are. Cheating doesn't occur EXCEPT when someone in a relationship isn't getting everything they NEED.

So What Do I Do Now?

So now, after the cheating has occurred and they have "forgiven you" or you have "taken them back," is it any better? Probably not... because you have only addressed the symptom of the problem. If they were possessive before, chances are they are even more possessive now. The things that weren't working before are only emphasized by the cheating... so what do you do?

Treat the Problem, Not the Symptom

This is no different than taking a cough drop when you have a cold. Treats the cough but you still have the cold, right? How many months of cough drops are you going to suffer through before you realize you have to address the REAL issue? You have to treat what caused the problem, or the problem is not going to go away.

Start with asking yourself two questions... and be honest.

  1. Is this person treating you any better now?
  2. Are you really happy with how your relationship is going?

Bottom line: If you are not happy, and they are not happy ... it's time for a break.

Take Some Time

You both need TIME to access for yourselves what you want from a relationship and if the other person is truly capable of providing what you want -- and why. Once you have had some time to think about it on your own, meet with them and talk about it. Most importantly... be honest with each other.

If you decide you can work on these issues, more power to you! It takes a lot of guts to face the REAL cause of a non-working relationship, rather than focusing on the symptoms... like cheating... arguing... abusive behavior.

If you decide you both would be better off without each other, at least you are facing it now and not ten years from now when there are kids and mortgages in the picture.

You Are Going to be Okay

If it doesn't work, yes... it is sad, but don't let it become the end of the world. It didn't work out because it wasn't MEANT TO.

But you know what? You are going to be okay and so are they. Just keep in mind what led to the infidelity and learn from the mistakes. Put it this way... when you know what you DON'T want in a relationship, it makes it easier to recognize what you DO want in that special person. Each failed relationship you have better prepares you for your next relationship.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)