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How to Deal with Ogres

Updated on December 28, 2013
Shrek is the good-looking green ogre on the left.
Shrek is the good-looking green ogre on the left. | Source

How to Deal with Ogres

An ogre is generally described as a large, massive, ugly, hideous-looking monster that eats people. Ogres are frequently featured in fiction and fairy tales. Remember the giant in ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’?

There is a feminine version, too. A female ogre is called an ogress.

Of course I am not referring to Shrek – the lovable ‘Jolly Green Giant’ ogre. Shrek is kind, caring, amiable and sweet. And bright green!

The ogres I will describe come in many shapes, sizes¸ personalities and genders. They can be your supervisors, spouses, colleagues, customers, relatives, children – you get the idea.

Here are three basic types of difficult ogres and how to deal with them:

The Micro-manager Ogre

This ogre may be your boss or someone at work. Or it can be your ‘loving’ spouse or ‘caring’ relative. These ogres believe they delegate responsibility. Not true. They may assign a task or project but they hover over you constantly and want to supervise every single little detail. This is time-consuming, aggravating and annoying.

How should you handle the Micro-manager Ogre?

If you are given an assignment, discuss with the micro-manager what he or she wants to see as the final outcome. Is it more sales? Solutions to problems? Reduction of expenses? Re-painting the walls in your home?

Explain that you want to build a detailed plan for each project. You will establish milestones for when you will report back for feedback. You get the ogre involved by inviting him or her to review your plan and adjust it as necessary.

If you are effective, the Micro-manager Ogre will see that you can deliver what you promised, and the micro-managing behavior subsides or disappears.

What if the Micro-manager is a Spouse or Relative?

You can utilize the same general behavior to get that person involved.

The Explosive Ogre

When the Explosive Ogre is yelling at you and perhaps including invective and expletives, try to stay calm. Attempt to figure out what does the ogre really want. Do not respond in anger. You may want to delay further conversation until this individual appears to be in a calmer mood.

How should you handle the Explosive Ogre?

Try to behave as if you are a therapist and say something like: “I am sorry you are upset and I want to understand exactly why.”

If this fails to produce a more calm response from this ogre, then say: “I would like to discuss this with you but not right now while you are so upset. (Do not use the word “angry”.) Let’s discuss this later.” Set a time and place.

The Laissez Faire Ogre Who Avoids Difficult Decisions

Sometimes the boss believes in ‘laissez faire’ management – leave them alone and they (employees) will come up with the best solutions.

How should you handle the Laissez Faire Ogre?

The Laissez Faire Ogre is generally someone who has been given authority but prefers continuous delegation. First, you must assume that your boss believes you will make the best possible decisions.

Ensure that he or she knows what you are doing and has the option to redirect your activities. Send a polite email stating what you plan to do unless you hear otherwise. Lay out your projected plans and estimated timeline.

Shrek the Lovable Ogre

Now go forth and do battle … I mean, go dazzle.

"By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day." - Robert Frost

© Copyright BJ Rakow 2013. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

Enlightening information about interviewing, networking, writing resumes and cover letters and negotiating salary ...

... But fun to read!

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    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Thank you so much dear drbj!!! Boy, I sure do have all of these types of ogres in my life, and now I know just exactly how to deal with them thanks to you! LOL

      You are so very wise dear one.

      I hope this upcoming New Year has an abundance of blessings for you and yours.

      Up and more and sharing.

      Faith Reaper

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Faith, for being such a loyal and faithful follower. I like to think that the older I get, the wiser I get. But remembering it all - that is the hard part. :)

      Thank you also for the lovely New Year's blessing which I also wish for you and your family, m'dear. Hope you had a lovely Christmas as well.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      drbj,

      Oodles of thanks for the opportunity to express outrage at the odious, officious and outrageous overtures of the ogres in our orbit.

      Great breakdown...great suggestions...just great! Happy New Year, dear friend and thanks for always bringing a smile. Hugs, Maria

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Thanks for the very useful suggestions for dealing with ogres, drbj. I love the ways in which you've related a mythical creature to real life. Happy New Year!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I have know so many types of ogres!! I've even been an ogre a time or two. Or three! :)

      Shrek and Fiona are my favorite animated couple!! :)

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 3 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Once an ogre always an ogre. LMAO

      The Frog

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I had no idea it was that easy to deal with these *%&#* people. LOL Now that I am armed with this information I am ready to boldly step forth into the real world. Of course, the main problem that I have is that I work for myself, so what in the world do I do when I have to confront myself????

      Entertaining as always my friend.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you drbj, I needed this advice badly. I do have a couple of ogres I need to deal with regularly, but until now my words and actions seem to make the situations worse. I will give your tips a try. Wish me luck, that I don't get tossed over the bridge. Good hub :)

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 3 years ago from east of the equator

      Thanks so much drbj for some much needed advice. My three types of Ogres are better understood now. Best wishes for a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      I like this explanation of different types of ogres. Thanks, Doc, for helping me to clearly see what type of ogre I am. "Laissez Faire," that's me....no doubt.

      Rather than set yourself up with the need to continually make difficult decisions, why not surround yourself with bright, responsible, creative & self-motivating individuals, in the first place?

      There you go, Doc, making my light bulb go on again....just when I was resting my LAZY FAIR mind!.........UP+++ Tweeted.

    • DreamerMeg profile image

      DreamerMeg 3 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Yes, those micro managing pests can be real ogres, if you let them! Useful info on getting past them.

    • John MacNab profile image

      John MacNab 3 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

      I must have missed something somewhere - when exactly did you meet my bright green wife, drbj?

    • TurtleDog profile image

      TurtleDog 3 years ago

      Ha! Well said John MacNab. Great post drbj . I am now way better equipped to manage the ogres in my life :-) Voted up and awesome

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 3 years ago from California

      Superb! If you are married to an ogre, my friend recommends always fighting in the nude.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Ahhh…the dreaded Ogre. I have a family member who is the micro-manager, and self-proclaimed “perfectionist.”

      “Explain that you want to build a detailed plan for each project. You will establish milestones for when you will report back for feedback. You get the ogre involved by inviting him or her to review your plan and adjust it as necessary.” Very clever. :-)

      Actually, you have outlined the behavioral challenges that can occur between employee and supervisor/manager in the work environment, and within certain family "dynamics," perfectly. And your suggested responses to these challenges are superb. Well done, Drbj. :-)

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      A great read and thank you so much for sharing drbj. Here's wishing you a very happy new year.

      Eddy.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 3 years ago from South Africa

      Oh, those ogres those ogres! Can I write a series about them! How do you know when you were in contact with an ogre not related to Shrek? Your skin feels dirty as if you have fallen into a river filled with sewerage. A shower is the first thing to do, then listen to your favorite music while eating a chocolate. Don't do any introspection. What had been said had been said, wait until the next time for another try to ensure the ogre that you're compotent, qualified AND untouchable.

      Drbj, may 2014 meet all your expectations :))

    • CMHypno profile image

      CMHypno 3 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      I always thought the best way of dealing with ogres was to run! (has kept me alive for over half a century lol!). Interesting and entertaining hub as always drbj. Happy New Year and have a great 2014!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Now i know how to deal with the orges in my life. ( I have a couple. ) The micro-manager is the toughie. Remember the worn-out shoe? I ' ain't got that shoe repaired completely! Hee..I like your tips, esp. the staying calm when in reality i want to blow! This is a fun read and i enjoyed. Happy New Year Dear one.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 3 years ago

      Thanks for the wise advice. I must meet at least 2 ogres a week! I prefer Shrek.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 3 years ago

      Hubs like this one makes me realize how much I MISSED your WITT DRBJ! But now I'm Back to Enjoy it all once again. The poor Orges get such a bad rap...Self help book..."How to Win Friends and Influence People"...could be a start. Good Laughs, in 2014 dear Friend.

    • Eric Calderwood profile image

      Eric Calderwood 3 years ago from USA

      Now that we know how to handle the Ogres that annoy us, what do we do if we recognize this bad behavior in ourselves? I see a little of the Micro-manager Ogre in my own actions.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Dear Maria - You have outdone yourself with the letter 'o' alliteration, m'dear. I have copied your obviously outstanding orotund oration, to wit: "Oodles of thanks for the opportunity to express outrage at the odious, officious and outrageous overtures of the ogres in our orbit," so that I may use it somewhere sometime somehow.

      May your New Year be fantabulous and thanks for the laugh.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks, Alicia, for finding these ogre-dealing suggestions useful. They are the best ways I have found to deal with real-life ogres. Happy New Year to you, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks, Alicia, for finding these ogre-dealing suggestions useful. They are the best ways I have found to deal with real-life ogres. Happy New Year to you, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Sometimes we have to deal with ogres, Linda, but you - an ogre? I don't believe it for a minute. I'm fond of Shrek and Fiona, too - saw all three of their films. I like Donkey, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      It's true, Jim, to mix a metaphor miserably, ogres do not often change their stripes.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      I guess, Bill, we could look for some ogres for you to deal with now that you are armed with this info. Although working for yourself presents a whole new set of problems. Have you tried bribery?

      Thanks for finding this entertaining.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Jodah, do give my suggestions a try when dealing with the couple of ogres you mentioned, but just to be on the safe side, wear a life jacket.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Happy I provided some insight for you, Gerry, and my best wishes back to you for a happy, healthy, prosperous and fun New Year.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      There is nothing wrong with being a laissez faire type of person if you recognize it. You answered the problem with your advice to 'surround yourself with bright, responsible, creative & self-motivating individuals.'

      When you do that, most of your problem is solved.

      And I don't believe for a moment, Paula, that your light bulb is not always on. I like your LAZY FAIR phrase and thanks for the Up and the Tweet.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      You are so right, Meg, we can't let those micro-manager ogres take over. Thanks for finding this info useful.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      I've had a few ogres as managers and it's not a fun place to work. Your advice is wonderful and I love how you used Shrek to enhance your article. Voted way up!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Now that was really funny, John, you made me laugh out loud. Now be very careful, my friend, that wifey doesn't read this. :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      I guess you laughed at John's comment, too, Turtle Dog. Happy you are better equipped to manage ogres - they surface when we least expect it. Thanks, m'dear, for the up and the awesome.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Ah, tirelesstraveler, seems your friend really knows whereof he or she speaks. What a visual that comment provokes!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Poor Genna, you have to deal with a micro-manager family member. Fortunately, you read this hub and now have the ammunition to deal with this particular ogre. Just follow my suggestions and your life could change. Well, maybe not change, but certainly improve.

      Thanks for the 'well done,' m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Eddy. Thanks for reading; it was my pleasure to share. A very Happy, Healthy New Year to you, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Martie. Love your ingenious instructions for dealing with genuine, non-Shrekian ogres. Especially the part about eating chocolate while listening to favorite music.

      Can think of no better way to demonstrate to the orgre that you are 'competent, qualified, and untouchable.' Thanks for the New Year greetings. May your New Year be fantabulous!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Cynthia. Yes, running from genuine ogre ogres is wise. These suggestions are for bosses or relatives who may not eat humans but often wish to destroy them by micro-managing, exploding or abandonment.

      Thanks for finding this interesting and entertaining, and a very Happy New Year to you as well.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Ruby. Happy that you now have ammunition to deal with the ogres in your life. As you pointed out, staying calm may be difficult but it often unnerves completely the micro-manager who MUST be in charge.

      Thanks for finding this a fun read and a very Happy, Healthy New Year to you, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, bp. Dealing with only two ogres a week? Use this 'wise advice' and you can soon be rid of them entirely. Trust me. I like Shrek, too. And Fiona. And Donkey.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Barbara. What gracious comments. Delighted you are back to enjoy my wit once again. Hope all is well in your world. Don't give those ogres an inch. And here is to good laughs all year long.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Eric. For those of us who may recognize some of these ogre traits in ourselves, just step back and analyze why and where it is happening and perform some positive self-talk based on the suggestions above.

      If you are a boss, try to hire creative, motivated employees you can trust to handle assignments.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Dianna. You are so right. Ogre managers are not a delight to work with. Thanks for your gracious comments and admiration of Shrek as a role model. And for the Up, too.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 3 years ago

      The worst ogres are elected to public "service". "To Serve Man" - it's a cookbook.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      You got that right, Micky. On both counts!

    • joedolphin88 profile image

      Joe 2 years ago from north miami FL

      Well now I know what to do I was unsure what to do when the ogre apocalypse rained down. JK great read very intriguing

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      Nice to meet you, joedolphin. So happy you stopped by and learned how to deal with a potential ogre apocalypse. Thanks for finding it intriguing.

    • joedolphin88 profile image

      Joe 2 years ago from north miami FL

      All joking aside it was a very interesting read, a little out of the norm makes for a great hub

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