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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Getting Out of Abusive Relationships
Are you in an abusive relationship?
An abusive relationship is one where a person suffers any emotional, physical or psychological abuse or a combination of any of these inflicted by a partner. An abusive partner is a person who inflicts either physical, emotional, and psychological abuse on the victim to control or coerce the other person into submission. An abusive relationship can happen to anyone in every kind of relationship.
A victim of an abusive relationship must act carefully to first, secure safety. Getting out of an abusive relationship may seem hard at first but there are available help in the community both private and the government assist you.
An abusive partner may start inflicting abuse by words or deed. If the partner has already resorted to physical violence at he first instance, it it high time for you to ask outside help. Never hope that it won't happen again or even try to justify his behavior by placing the blame on yourself. It will only get worse with time.
1. Leave while you can
If you have experienced physical abuse, it is best to leave the relationship while you can. Since the abuser has already started hurting you, any chance of that person changing is quite slim at this point and it would be best for you to leave the home or the relationship without waiting for hell to break loose again. You might not survive another round.
Expect your abuser to make gestures of remorse to reel you back in. They would often make promises not to do it again. However, don't let your guard down since the possibility of that person inflicting another blow is increasing each time. Do not be fooled by promises and acts of remorse.
2. Report the abuse to the authorities
This is the tricky part as it may trigger the abuser to escalate his level of animosity towards you. Be careful to have the support of a reliable friend or someone who can help you out in case things get out of hand.
A victim must report to the authorities any abuse that is being experienced in order to have a concrete evidence of the abuser's act. This will be helpful later on if the victim decides to file a criminal case against the abuser.
3. Take steps to be independent financially
If the victim is financially dependent on the abuser, now is the high time to find a job or a lucrative business. Search online for job vacancies at every opportunity, learn to network and ask around if friends have knowledge of any job that may be perfect. The local employment office in your area may also provide a list of these job openings.
Be resourceful and make it a goal to be independent and secure financially now that you are planning to get out of an abusive relationship. Being in a co-dependent relationship can easily turn into an abusive one when your abuser knows that you have nowhere to run.
4. Inform a trusted friend/relative of your ordeal...
Make sure that someone else, either a friend or a close relative knows what is going on and that your partner is abusing you. You may pack a light bag with all your essentials and leave it with that trusted person in case of emergency.
5. Always have an emergency plan
Keep in a safe custody of a friend or relative all your important documents and papers, including photos of your children, birth certificates, baptismal paper, passports, and even sufficient amount of money that you can use once there is another blow out caused by the abuser.
You can keep a light bag and keep it in some area or place in your house like the garage, or tool house where you can easily get it or when you are fleeing from the house in case there is an imminent danger to your life by the abuser. Make sure that this emergency bag also includes an extra set of keys, an extra cellphone with working batteries or charger.
6. Save up at every chance
It would also be advisable to save up a certain amount of money on a bank account that your partner does not know about. If you do not have a job, you may still keep such an account and make timely deposits on it on whatever you can save. Never let yourself be fully dependent on your partner. This amount will help you in case there is an emergency or when an attack by your abusive partner is imminent.
7 Signs of Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Always remember, no one has the right to inflict hurt or abuse anyone
No one has any right to hurt or abuse anyone. It is a sad fact that statistics show that many hold on to relationships with abusive partners simply because they think they have contributed to the abuse or worst, have been brainwashed to believe that there is no way out. If you are in this kind of situation, you must act now and find a way to get out of the situation without further endangering yourself.