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How to Find a Japanese Girlfriend

Updated on February 27, 2011

I've always been fascinated with Japanese culture and especially Japanese women. This hub will give you tips on meeting and dating Japanese women.

There are some important differences in culture to maximize your chanes of meeting a Japanese girlfriend. Japanese culture is more structured than Western culture. Japanese women are concerned about their boyfriend dressing and acting appropriately in each situation. In the West we're more into indivualism and doing our own thing. A big part of winning your Japanese girlfriend over is being aware of her and her friends expectations.

If you're in a major city there is likely a Japanese conversation club or language exchange meetup that makes a great place to start your search. Be sure you don't get off on the wrong foot by hitting on all the Japanese ladies. Be your most charming, polite, dress well and show enthusiasm. A friend of mine quickly wore out his welcome by crudely asking every Japanese woman for a date at the first few meetings. Instead relax and have fun! Take your time and build some relationships. If a Japanese lady is showing you lots of interest - laughing, making direct eye contact, bringing you a small gift - you're off to the races. Remember you want to be building bridges not burning them. Take things slow.

Building up some basic Japanese conversation skills will make your Japanese friends feel more comfortable. Don't worry about being a Japanese expert, it's going to take some time and they're most likely more interested in improving their English.

Always get their email/contact so you can gradually build up a network of Japanese friends to hang out with. Most likely they'll get other Japanese friends visiting them. Great! Volunteer to guide them around your city and introduce them to some of your local friends.

Once you've made some local Japanese friends, you're almost guaranteed to get invited to visit Japan. Most likely you'll even be invited to stay with them for a few days.

In a small village or town news can spread quickly that there's a foreigner staying with/dating a local lady. Unless you're serious about her already, you're not going to have much chance to meet other ladies. In the big cities like Tokyo, Osaka and Sapporo you'll have a lot more freedom.

A good way to meet people once you arrive is to carry your Japanese conversation book with you. If someone catches you eye, you can get the ball rolling by asking for help pronouncing a word. This works both ways, I've had ladies ask me for help with their English conversation while sitting in the coffee shop. Anything that can start a conversation is good. On the train ask for directions. Don't worry about your Japanese not being good enough. Pointing to your desired station on the subway map and looking quizzical should start some conversation. When you're in Japan, you stand out like the raisin in the box of raisin bran. My first day, I got invited to a Yokohama Swallows pro baseball game as I walked down the street. Remember if you're having fun, you're most likely fun to be around.

If you get a job teaching English (Tokyo Times, Monday edition has the most jobs. Cold-calling every English conversation school I could find worked for me) there is one cardinal rule. Never date your students. If things go sour, you're pretty much guaranteed to lose your job.


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