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How to Get Over Heartaches

Updated on January 9, 2017
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Concepcion is an educator, explorer, math lover, a hubber, and a mother. She does writing as a hub.

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It is better to love and lost than never love at all. But the pain of a failed relationship is one of the great sufferring many of us will ever experience. The pain is as real as a physical or tangible pain or more painful as it is. It is even more difficult to mend a broken heart than to heal any tangible wound or pain. But all heartaches are normal for human beings. If you choose to love, get yourself also ready for heartbreaks. Everyone will find a different way to get over it, but we all find being dumped or losing a loved one very hard. Some get over it easier, but harder for others.


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The first thing most people do is to cry. Holding your feelings will end up making yourself feel worse and moving on will be even harder. Allow yourself to cry and hibernate some time if this is what you are drawn to do just to lessen the pain and the heaviness of your heart. You've been hurt so expect the tears to keep coming. Let everything loose and don't hold anything back.


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Acceptance

If you are ready to fall in love, then you are also ready to feel the pain. But not all of us are ready for heartbreaks because when we love someone we also hope for a happy ending.

Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain. Accept that you will have to go through some pain. When you lose something that mattered to you, it is natural and important to feel sad about it. That feeling is an essential part of the healing process. It is normal to cry. Crying can help you lessen the heaviness of your heart. But eventually, you will find that you can live without it getting in the way.

Accept that you will never be with that person anymore, no more shared plans and dreams to be realized. And do not anymore let yourself hope that you will still be together again someday. Just accept that particular person is never and will never be part of your life anymore from that day on. Just remember that every relationship is a learning experience, and every learning experience will positively effect your future. It's not the end of the world because you've been dumped or hurted. There is no entirely perfect relationship. Time heals all wounds, especially when it comes to heartbreaks.

Change Something

Change your habits. You have to break those connections with your ex. Like turning off the music or avoid the things like pictures, gifts, activities, or other things that reminded you of your ex. These things may form fond memories but right now, dwelling on them will make the sadness and pain even more intense. Take up a new activity. And keep moving: exercise is the single most effective therapy for depression. These changes break up the old associations and give yourself a new environment for your new life. The changes you make don't have to be permanent.

Change your thoughts. Being heartbroken can make you feel worthless and hopeless. Stop seeing it as the end of your happiness. Instead, turn it into a challenge; view it as an opportunity. Be positive. It's not the end of the world just because you separate. As the saying goes, "There are still many fishes in the sea". So you still have all the reasons to live and move forward.


Talk to your Friends and Family

It cannot be stressed enough that sharing the burden makes getting over heartbreak a lot easier. That's what they are there for. Knowing that they are there for you and support you in every way. You need someone who understands and listens to you. Talking to someone whom you trust can help you feel better. Remember that you're not going to be the only one feeling the pain. The burden is a lot easier when you share it.

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Learn, Let Go and Let God

Keep yourself, your thoughts occupied of something else. Do not be driven into drinking, or taking illegal substances by your heartbreak. Because that way you'll just end up destroying yourself. Think about the things you want to do and achieve. Activities you enjoy will help you relax. Think about the positive things in your life, what you have left, what you can do with your future, and do not let your loss destroy the rest of your life. Do not let yesterday's failures ruin the beauty of today and tomorrow. Just let go and know someone you deserve is waiting for you. Consider how you can use this experience as a way to move forward. Try not to look back on the past. The more you move forward, the less it will hurt. It is still going to be tough, for a while. Heartbreak is a crippling thing to go through but it is also an amazing trigger for releasing raw of emotions and creativity that can be channeled in a positive way. Also, try to let go of anger, as it only makes you cling on tighter to that painful emotion. Forgiveness is the key to moving on.

Learn from your mistakes on your past relationships. Let go the pains and heartaches. Let God decide and manage on your life.

Pray

Prayer is the best fix for a broken heart. Psalm 147:3 says "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." Through paryer we are able to ask God for healing, instead of getting angry with God and turning Him away. We often ask "why me?". The answer is simple. Growth comes after pain and heartache. You can't appreciate the good if you don't know what it is like to endure the bad. Lay it all to God. Give it to Him and He will give you one that is truly meant for you. The wrong person may have broken your heart but believe that God will send the right one to repair your heart. You just have to trust Him. Here are sample prayers:

Lord, let my heart not be hardened by heartbreak. Teach me how to love again and understand that everything happens for a reason. Teach me to love those who are hardest to love and teach me how to love even those who do not love me. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Lord Heal My Broken Heart

Oh Lord my God, I come to You bereft in spirit with a heart that is breaking. My mind is in turmoil and I just do not understand all the turmoil that seems to be hitting me from all sides. You know Lord exactly the pain that is in my heart and the sadness and grief that I am going through and I come to You, my God, seeking Your blessed peace in my heart.

Heal my hurting heart and bind up the lacerations that have penetrated so deeply into my soul - for You alone are my hope - You alone are my strength and stay - I have nothing and no one left but You Lord.

Bind up my fragmented heart I pray as You have promised - it says in Your Word that You came to heal the broken hearted and to free those that were entrapped in the emotional turmoil of their lives. Lord that is the position now and I trust in You alone.

I give You my fragmented heart and pray for Your blessed peace - Your perfect peace - Your gracious peace that passes all human comprehension. Take me as I am Lord and fill me anew with Your love and grace for only through You can I be renewed in spirit - only in You can I rest in safety.

Thank You O Lord my God,

Amen.


Heartbreak is horrible. There is no quick fix, but the more you start to gently push yourself in new directions everyday, the more clarity you will start to get on the situation. With every small step you take forwards, each time you look back, it won't be quite so painful.

How long does it take for you to get over your heartbreaks?

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