How to Get Over a Breakup While Minimising Pain
So most likely you've navigated your way from self-help article to self-help article throughout the Interwebs and stumbled upon what I have to say on the matter of breakups.
Let me just say something now however, you may not want to hear it, or maybe you already know it, but there are no easy, quick fixes to getting over a meaningful relationship.
Once that is known, you're already one-step closer to recovery which is great!
My hope in this article is to give you some tips from experience (Despite my young age of 18) on how to get on with life after the end of a relationship and trying to minimise the amount of emotional pain in doing so. I really hope these aid you in some way but I understand that we're all different so some may be helpful to you, some may not, either way I encourage to read on.
Thanks! Now lets begin!
Cut All Ties & Go No Contact
I see this as the hardest step to take, especially after what you've just been through but this does lessen the pain in the long-term.
I myself suggest that you no longer maintain contact with your Ex for the time being, don't have him/her on any social networking websites, don't exchange e-mails and I recommend going as far as deleting their phone number in case you get the urge to call said person up (Which you will, everyone does from time to time).
It may sound harsh but you really need to start looking after Numero Uno after what has happened. You should now try and tell yourself that the time to care for yourself before anyone else in now.
So go do whatever you want to take your mind off of things, think of all the free time you can relegate back to yourself now that you are the most important thing to yourself.
Use Your New-Found Time Productively
Nothing is worse than sitting alone doing nothing after a breakup. Thoughts race around in your head and develope into hurtful emotions, however there are ways to help with minimising how often you end up in this vicious cycle.
Do something! Here are a few suggestions:
- Hang out/Talk with your good friends ( My personal favourite )
- Partake in an activity you find fun.
- Try a new activity, maybe you always thought rock climbing looked fun but never tried it?
- Watch movies (avoid the soppy love movies for a while)
- Play video games
- Listen to feel-good music (I recommend A LOT of Jamiroquai)
- Get some work done e.g. Studying, coursework, job related assignments etc
- Trying something new with your appearance
You may have to force yourself to do these things at first because of your mood being low, just take things one at a time and you'll be enjoying yourself in no time!
Meet New People
Remember, as of 2012, there are around 7,000,000,000 people living on Earth.
Minus the one that is now gone, that leaves around 6,999,999,999 people give or take that are living their lives just as you do.
Humans are social creatures, so you should be going out and seeking friendships of all different kinds in this vast pool of unique individuals, just think of the possibilities!
Try initiating conversation when in a social environment like School, University, Work, Gigs, Bars, Clubs and even outside in the street. Even something as simple a saying "Hi" could open the door to a brilliant friendship, or even a future relationship, though I don't suggest looking for another relationship right away.
I suggest waiting at least a few months minimum before looking for another partner, you need time to get over what has happened in your previous relationship before embarking on a new one.
However I do endorse flirting, flirt all you want if you want to, it's good to establish your new found freedoms of being single, enjoy it! Just don't let anything serious happen for a while, simply go out with the objective to make yourself feel happy and feel enjoyment.
Realise You're Not Alone
Many people before you have been through the exact same situation and many more will end up in the same situation after you're over it. It happens to anyone and almost everyone at some point in their lives. So look at everyone you see closely, they most likely have been through it al already and they're still standing, and so will you be!
Just have a look at this Youtube video, it happens to everyone.
This article was typed by someone who has been through this sort of stuff more than once in the past.
Although everyone is different, I hope that things listed here that helped me also help you in some way or another.
I hope you get over what troubles you are facing very soon and make a full recovery!
Thank you for reading, please feel free to comment.