ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Get Over with Your Ex: A Heart Break Healing Guide

Updated on April 26, 2014

Have you completely moved on?

See results

The Sad Reality

Have you experienced sharing a deep, meaningful relationship with someone and then without any warning, your relationship just went sour? And before you knew it, you are there, left alone, clueless, feeling terrible and stuck with a thought…"how can I get over with my ex and start moving on with my life alone?"

The feeling of suddenly being single is like being struck with a lightning that you’d rather die in its impact than face the world after its strike.

Well, it is inevitable to feel terribly hurt, betrayed and lonely. I guess everybody has to go through it. From the Kubler- Ross model on the five stages of grief, you have to go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression before you can finally walk in to the road of acceptance.

The art of letting go

You need to accept your pain

You need to accept your pain. Stop living on… it was my fault, what have I done wrong and what if’s! Don’t think too much and over analyze things. For now, just let it flow in you. Accept the pain. Cry if you must and cry it all. Don’t leave a single tear to shed in the future. This is your moment to cry for your ex and after today, it’s over. You don’t have to waste your lifetime blaming yourself or blaming him on your break up. One of the best thing to do is to talk to your best friend or to your family or to someone you are close with. It will make things easier for you.

Caught Unprepared

If you feel like you were caught unprepared and there are things you’d like to tell him, then sit down and write him a letter. Write what your heart cries. Write it all. Don’t be afraid. Tell him everything that you feel. Tell him your expectations on your relationships especially your pain. Take all your time to compose the most beautiful, hateful, lengthy love letter you’d ever write in your whole life.

Then crumple it with your hands and burn it. Watch it burn up to very last end of the paper, until it all turns black and be gone with the wind.

Yes. You do not have to sent the letter ‘cause the ugly truth is… he doesn’t care. And he won’t even read the letter. And worse, he might come straight to your door and tear it on your face and you don’t want to experience the same humiliation. The letter was meant to help you pour out your emotions- unleashed your deeply hurt ego. Stop thinking that he might change his mind after he reads your letter and please don’t beg him to come back to you cause if he truly loves you, he wouldn’t have chose to hurt you in the first place. Leave a little pride to your self.

Let me remind you that going through this phase is not easy, so don’t jump into another relationship if you’re not totally over with your past.

Finally, you have released your suppressed emotion. Now, it’s time to look back on your flaws and shortcomings.

Yes and it’s not a joke. Experience is your best teacher. and you don’t want to experience the same pain. You don’t want to waste your time on undeserving people. You don’t want to kiss another frog hoping he’d turn out to be a prince. Learn from your mistakes. Examine and Analyze what went wrong and do better this time.

Don't make a move you'll soon regret

No matter what happens, stay away from your ex. Don’t call, don’t text, don’t email. If you share the same house, then get your stuff and get out. You don’t want to live in a place filled with so much memories. You don’t want to reminisce every detail of your life together. You don’t want to cry while eating your favourite pizza just because you had great memories in it. This will help you recover from your break up more easily.

Focus on unaccomplished goals.

This is the best time to focus on your unaccomplished goals. Maybe you have always wanted to learn how to paint, write a song, or learn how to swim but because you were too busy with your romantic relationship, you didn’t have time to accomplish it. Or maybe you have neglected a few of your friends because you spent most of your time with your ex- well now is the perfect time to reconnect with your friends. Friends provide the most valuable support network especially this point of your life.

Seek Help

If you were seriously affected by the break up, it’s fine to seek relationship advise through counseling. There are also relationship forums available on the website who can share with you their relationship break up advice. You need to work on you emotional and psychological health. Don’t take it for granted.

Seek Guidance through reading

Read some inspirational and motivational books. Don’t limit your self to ways that can help you with your broken heart. There are a lot of good authors that gives good advice. My favorite book is Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot. Look into your soul and nourish it with the things it desire. Your soul desires to be happy, so stop being bitter. It desire to be free, so stop dwelling on the pain. It desire to move on, so stop holding on.

Live life again

You may also want to consider going to the gym. Breaking up can give so much stress. Exercise or any form of physical activity can release a hormone called endorphins which leads to a feeling of euphoria. You may also want to explore the world and join a mountain climbing club.

This way you will meet a whole new circle of people. Some of them will become your friends. and Who knows, maybe one of them is your soul mate. And isn’t it finding someone is the ultimate answer on how to get over with your ex?


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)