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11 Ways to Get a Man Give You What You Want

Updated on January 9, 2017

How to Get What You Want from Your Partner

Most people I listen to complain that they don’t get what they want from their partners—at least not enough of the time to be deeply satisfied. One reason why so many marriages are in trouble is because partners demand too much from each other. There is no doubt that there is need to go extra step in trying to please your companion, your treasure, your soul-mate, your lover and friend, but when the demands become too much, it will lead to disagreement.

Many men grow up regarding women as little more than sex objects to be used at will. Many women also believe that their partners must provide whatever they want, whether they have the means or not. Never learning any different, they carry this same ignorant viewpoint into marriage. If you do it right, marriage is definitely could be a blissful experience. “My partner doesn’t say ‘I love you’ nearly as often as I’d like to hear it. The reason I stopped doing things for her is because she can’t seem to acknowledge me for the way I do things because I always do things in ways that are very different from how she would do them. She’s never satisfied with what I do. It was as if she were trying to make me be a slave,” Jones said.

If you have difficulty in knowing what you want and communicating it, try these steps. Following these steps, will enable you to attain greater success in getting what you want. You will get over the difficult “hit and miss” method. These steps will lead you to a full life, a life of blissful marriage, happiness and peace of mind.

Get clear about what you want

You can’t express what you want effectively if you’re not clear what it is you really want. Before approaching your partner with a request first outline them in your mind and be sure they are actually what you want. Many husbands complain they don’t quite know what their spouse truly desires. Simply state what you want. Don’t preface your statement with a lot of preamble. Most women don't always say what they really mean at all. They often want something else than what they are saying, but would rather drop hints than come right out with their needs. Just ask politely, for what you want. Besides, that little extra effort of consideration and communication will prevent misunderstanding and unpleasant argument.

When I write about what you want, I’m not writing about only material things; I’m writing also about the ways you want to be treated? Does your partner treat you the way you want to be treated? And, to begin, you need to know how you want to be treated. “My partner doesn’t like to initiate sexual moves, which really worries me. What I really want is acceptance, and my partner seldom gives that to me,” Betty complained. A successful life is lived by one who makes their spouse their priorities in life.

Tell him

You want to avoid being vulnerable, so open up and ask for what you want. He's not a mind reader. If you want him to do something he's not doing, pick a good time, sit down, and tell him. Things change sometimes just by listing out your needs in a calm, rational way. It is nothing more than self-justifications for you to complain about what you didn’t get instead of asking for what you want. When you aren’t able to express the necessity of what you want clearly you’ll have difficulty in getting them. Many women have difficulty solving problems because they do not know what they want, or if they do know, cannot express it effectively to someone else. Fear that your partner will be upset, hurt, or unhappy if you say what you really want may lead you to ask for something else, or just be silent, when the truth is you’ll resent not getting what you want. The end result is that you feel unsupported and not cared for.

Ask don’t demand

And to really be successful in getting what you want, you need to understand the difference between asking and demanding, and how to approach your spouse. Asking for what you want is to make an effort to communicate clearly what you want, so that you and your partner can both be satisfied, while demanding is insisting that your partner give what you want, without regard for his feelings. When you make demand, you are not ready to take no as answer.

Say what you mean but don’t say it mean

No one likes to be forced to do anything. It takes only a few minutes to get married, but building a marriage requires a lifetime. Say "please": Oh, how easy it is in a marriage to forget our manners, but when you say please, it turns from demanding into asking. Big difference. In relationship, asking for what you want in a helpful, non-threatening way helps both you and your partner understand each other’s need and help in establishing of harmony, happiness, and lifelong success in marriage.

The conflict between couples most times is lack of understanding and communication. If your husband doesn’t know what you want, you can wind up not getting it and that’ll leave you feeling unsatisfied, overpowered, or manipulated.


You can indulge in a little harmless flirtation with your husband. Be affectionate to get what you want. Women need to know how to ask men what they want directly, and in a rational manner. If you want your husband to help in taking the garbage, you can say, “Darling, please can you take out the garbage? Than to say, “the garbage is smelling and you can’t take it out.” Men also need to learn to understand to women’s feelings when they want something. Marriage is designed for the man and woman who have decided that they wish to spend the rest of their lives together in a relationship of mutual love, respect, and sharing.

Don’t exaggerate what you want

The fear that you may not get what you want may cause you to exaggerate what you want. This is wrong. This makes it look that you’re greedy and much more difficult to satisfy than it really is. This causes your partner to feel suspicious that he or she is being manipulated, and resist cooperating with you.

Don’t argue

Anxiety that your want are not important enough to be satisfied may lead you to present them as a lengthy persuasive argument with numerous reasons why you should get what you want. This can provoke your partner to object and argue in return, rather than listen. Feelings get hurt and you hurt back in retaliation. Couples should apply the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them to do to you.” Usually commonsense is our best guide where daily thoughtfulness is concerned.

Believing that you won’t get what you anyway, or that difference in wants will cause a fight, and may lead you to say “I don’t care” or “it’s not important.”

Forgive and move on

Be prepared to accept a “no”. Remember, if you can’t accept “no” as answer, then you’re making a demand. So try to find way to get what you want for yourself, even if your husband isn’t cooperating. For example, if you don’t get the new dress you wanted, maybe you have to save to buy it for yourself. Marriage, like all relationships, involves give and take. It’s not all about what you like, what you want, what you need. Sometimes, the best thing to do in a situation is to overlook your hurt, swallow your pride, and set aside your needs and wants.


Timing is very important and today may not be the right time to say what is on your mind. Ensure a good atmosphere prevails before asking for what you want. You may not be in the right frame of mind to convey your feelings properly; or your husband is not in his good mood. Make sure you and your spouse have time, and invite to sit and talk with him. But just because today may not be the best day, don’t keep from expressing your want soon. It is the only way your spouse will know how to give you what it is your heart desires. If you can get him in relaxed mood, you stand a better chance of being listened to attentively and this will bring rewards reaped in #marital harmony and happiness.

Show Gratitude

Be grateful: Don't act like it's all one big expectation. If your husband does something well or above and beyond expectation, compliment him and thank him. It makes things much, much easier. To get your spouse to do more, recognize what he has already done and praise him for that. Honest gratitude sincerely expressed is always a winner, so show gratitude for past gifts before asking for new ones. Unfortunately, because it is so easy for married couples to slip into the rut of taking each other for granted, compliments and thank-you is often in short supply and overlooked in many households.

Embrace the virtue of patience

When you ask for what you want, give your husband time to meet your request. Nothing worth having happens overnight. But remember, this is the person you gave your whole heart to and pledged ‘til death do us part.’ So isn’t your marriage worth investing the time it takes to help your spouse provide what you want?


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