- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
How to Get Your Girlfriend to Forgive You for Anything
Assess the Situation
How readily a woman will forgive a person for something depends on two simple things:
1. Who he is?
2. What he did to her?
Here are some questions you need to ask yourself and answer honestly before you proceed:
1. Why did I do what I did that has gotten me in this predicament?
2. Am I truly sorry for my actions, or am I sorry that I got caught?
3. What do I hope to achieve long-term from seeking forgiveness? Do I want to strengthen and grow this relationship? Does she have something I want? Do I need this woman in my life for material or other reasons (i.e., I live in her house or work for the business she owns.She knows a secret about me that could be devastating should she reveal it.)
4. What will I do if I receive her forgiveness?
5. Am I truly worthy of her forgiveness?
6. How likely am I to screw up again if she gives me another chance?
7. Do I truly value this woman and this relationship?
8. What if she doesn't forgive me?
Factors Affecting Her Forgiveness
Several factors will determine whether or not your woman forgives you:
1. How long you've been together.
2. What's a stake in your relationship--children, property, public image, etc.
3. How serious an offense you've committed.
4. What your offense has caused/cost her.
5. If your offense has resulted in her being humiliated in the eyes of people whose opinion she cares about.
6. Whether you've engaged in the same or a similar offense in the past.
7. The likelihood that you will repeat the offense in the future.
8. What you are willing to do to obtain her forgiveness.
9. How convincing you are.
Keys to Obtaining Her Forgiveness
1. Apologize immediately. Do not allow the situation to linger and fester. As soon as you realize you've made a mistake--or you've been caught--beg her forgiveness.
2. Look at the situation from her perspective. See the questions in the section on factors that will determine whether or not she forgives you.
3. Use your knowledge of your woman to rebut any objections she might have. Anticipate her reasons for rejecting your apology in advance, prepare a sincere and regretful response to each anticipated reason for rejection.
4. If you don't receive immediate forgiveness, start a campaign. Send her cards, candy, flowers and gifts. Call frequently, but not frequently enough to frighten her or to appear that you are obsessed or a stalker. Be focused, determined and persistent.
5. Ask for a second chance. If she agrees, start the relationship over as if it were brand new. If she refuses, ask to be friends. If she agrees to this, use it as an opportunity to endear yourself to her.
6. Write her heartfelt letters.
7. Send her poems that express your remorse and regret.
10. Tell her to give you another chance on a trial basis.
If All Else Fails...
If nothing else works, implore her to allow you to still be a part of her life. Chances are she will relent. Use this as an opportunity to show her how good the two of you can still be together. Eventually, maybe even without either of you noticing it, things will become even better in the relationship than they were before you messed up.