ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Get Your Groom Involved in Wedding Planning

Updated on December 17, 2009

So you’re finally engaged. Congratulations! After the initial burst of elation at getting to spend the rest of your life with your best friend evens out, you turn your attention to the wedding. You start rattling off all of your wonderful and detailed ideas to your future groom and—surprise!—he clams up, turns his eyes to the floor, and mutters something about “trusting you to make these decisions.” Pretty soon your dream day for two is being planned by a party of one. And no matter how much you enjoy control, that position will become lonely as Wedding Day approaches. So here are some tips for getting your groom involved in and excited about the wedding planning process.

 1. Ask him (don’t tell him) what he wants

Before you utter one word about what you want in your wedding, ask your groom what he wants. Asking him for his input first without telling him yours eliminates the option of just agreeing with you to make you happy.  Ask specific questions. Ask him what aspect of the wedding is most important to him. Ask him what he would like to eat, what music he would like to have playing, and how many people he would like to invite. If you’re footing the bill, ask him how much he would like to spend. And here is the important part: Listen. Consider that this day belongs to both of you, and make it your goal to collaborate in the planning.

2. Validate his opinions (even when they differ from yours)

Marriage requires compromise, so consider your wedding as your first big exercise in that important skill. Do not reject his opinions—doing so will shut him off to giving any future input, not to mention make him feel unvalued. Incorporate his ideas into the wedding. In areas where you have a difference of opinion, compromise. Alternatively, assign different aspects of the wedding to each of you. Such as, “you choose the food, and I will choose the music.”

3. Cater to his interests

Any wedding is more meaningful when it reflects the unique interests of the couple. Look for ways for your groom to do what he loves to do in the service of wedding planning. For instance, if he is a musician, ask him to coordinate the wedding music. If he is an artist or a craftsman, ask him to make some of the décor or nontraditional centerpieces. If he loves to plan trips, put him in charge of the honeymoon. If he loves math, ask him to maintain the budget. Whatever tasks you ask him to do, be sure to emphasize that he can do them in whatever way he likes. Be happy with his involvement and the outcome—even if it is not the way you would have done it. His creative input may make your wedding better than you could have planned!

Image Credit: linh.ngan, Flickr


Submit a Comment

  • Wedding Tips profile image

    Wedding Tips 

    8 years ago from Hudson Valley NY

    I work as a wedding entertainer and most of the time the bride is more involved. She's more likely to get excited about flowers, decor and dresses. However, he might get really into the music or have one thing that's "his," like a crazy groom's cake. When you find that thing, go with it! And allow him to not be so interested in some of the other details; it's doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

  • kezan98 profile image

    Kerrie Giles 

    8 years ago from UK

    I found that with my husband, a year before the wedding he wasn't that interested but the closer the wedding got, the more excited he got and the more wedding related things he got involved with. Give it time (if you have it)

  • Albertttt profile image


    8 years ago

    Nice hub and a cool photo.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)