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How to Get Your Parents to Allow You to Date Someone Poor

Updated on February 7, 2013

How can you date someone that your parents don't approve of?

Not too many years ago I was just like you.

I asked myself, “Where can I find love?”

And my next question if I was lucky enough to find the place where love hid was an obvious one: How do I find someone my parents would accept and allow me to date?

After all parents are parents.

They want the best for their kids however, kids are kids.

And kids just wanna have fun with someone they can relate too.

The View from Both Ends

What parents think about when their kid wants to start dating is totally different than what most kids think when they want to start dating.

I should know I’m a mom of four and two are young adults now and the other two are teens. Yay me!

Now let’s get back to the subject at hand; convincing your parents to allow you to date a poor person.

Like kids, parents have wild imaginations.

Let’s face; they once were kids too although they might not look it now.

Parents imagine steamed up car windows.

Parents imagine themselves staring at the phone and clock while running to the mirror to count their grey hairs that grow overnight when you don’t call, answer your phone or come home after your curfew.

Parents imagine their stomachs being sick at the thought of you possibly liking someone “like that” and the thought disgust them.

But what you imagine, is what you see the other kids doing, you imagine yourself doing that too.

Kids imagine dating hanging out at a popular place after school, holding hands walking down the halls and texting sweet nothing back and forth to the person they are dating.

Can you see the problem?

And we still have not brought class into the picture yet.

Relationships Often Have No Rhyme or Reason

The jock might have a good friend that’s a nerd.

The jock may actually be a nerd but hangs out with the rockers to appear cool.

The preppy girl might love the thrill she gets when she hangs with the gamers.

And the popular kids they always seem to have something to say to just about every clique.

Go to any mall and people watch on any day of the week and I’m sure you’ll wonder how some couples got hooked up.

  • The tall girl with the short guy
  • The big dude with the little woman
  • The shy guy with the loud and obnoxious chick
  • The boring looking couple – Do they even talk to each other?

Wondering Whether or Not Your Poor Date Will Leave You Footing the Bill?


But you want to date someone who’s poor.

And you are probably think because he or she is poor your parents won’t approve.

Your stomach probably feels all twisted up inside just like mine did when I found someone I wanted to date when I was teen.

Although your stomach is twisting and your head spinning know this; true love conquers all.

I know that phrase might sound soft and sweet or even pretentious, but it’s true. Love really does conquer all.

Perhaps the sound of hearing love conquering it all momentarily cast away some of your fears.

However you’ll need more than a sweet phrase to convince your parents to get you to date a poor person, especially if you are fortunate enough to be rich or well healed.


Parents Just Don’t Understand

Well they do and they don’t.

It’s up to you to help them see what they can’t or don’t want to see.

Remember a parent’s first inclination is always to protect their young. It really doesn't matter how young their young is because they your parents will always be older than you and you'll always be their young.

Please allow me to put my parent hat on and give you a peek into what they might be wondering and thinking. Your parents might be thinking this;

Is this person [the poor kid] after my kid’s money?

Can’t my kid find someone from around here?

It would be great if we knew [the poor kid’s] parents.

What does my kid have in common with that kid?

How poor is that kid? Will my kid use his or her money and buy stuff for the [poor] kid?

If you don’t talk to your parents about dating someone who is poor, they are going to find out anyway and they’ll not only wonder, they make some might boastful chess moves against you.

  • They’ll restrict your privileges.
  • They’ll make your teen years hell.

Yes, parents have just that kind of power.

The Book Your Parents Probably Read and You Should Too

What Your Parents Don’t Want You to Know

Your parents are scared. I mean absolutely terrified.

They think you’ll get hurt.

You’ll get involved in the wrong things.

You’ll make bad choices. You’ll ruin your life.

You see hooking up with the wrong guy or girl is not as easy as slapping your hand away from a hot stove the damage from making a bad choice can be severe and parents know it. They’ve seen it happen to other people kids.

Likewise, in addition to all that fear in their head they are adjusting to change.

Not only are you changing, so are they.

You’re growing up; they’re getting gray hair.

And they also must learn how to adjust to the fact that you are making your own decisions and worst of all; without them.

Your parents are feeling many of the same emotions as you: sadness, fear, anger, grief and growing pains.

Connect to Your Parents Heart and Woo Them To See Things The Way You Do


Here’s The Absolute Best Way to Get Your Parents to Allow You to Date Someone Poor

It’s really simple so don’t over complicate it.

Communicate with them.

They are not the boogie man or woman in the closet. They are the people who loved you before they even knew what you looked like or who you might become.

Talking is and forever will be the best strategy to win your parents approval.

The breakdown occurs when parents and teens don’t talk to each other.

What happens is they talk to everybody else about each other.

Then both sides;

· get angry

· pant

· rant and rave

Yell, but don’t talk.

Talk to your parents about the poor person you want to date.


Broke Does Not Mean Bad It Just Means Broke

You will have to play show and tell with your parents. Yes, even at your old age (smile).

Start talking about the poor person you want to date to your parents. Highlight his or her best qualities. Explain to them why you are so interested in him or her.

Ask your parents if they’ve ever dated someone your grandparents didn’t initially approve of.

Show Your Soft-Strength

It might sound strange but the strongest people in the world are the softest people in the world. Think Mother Theresa, Ghanda, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and eventhe postman or crossing guard. Those gentle servants deliver the mail or walk you across the street safely and they always seem to have a loving smile however it takes strength and fortitude to brave the weather and crack a smile.

You’ll need that kind of soft-strength.

Appeal to your parent’s higher selves.

Be proactive and ask them if you could invite the person you want to date to your home. Tell them that you’d like to get their opinion of him or her. They’ll feel like you value their opinion.

Communicating in this way to your parents demonstrates that you are strong enough yet still soft enough to reach out to them for their advice.

This shows them that you do not hide from your decisions and also shows them that you just might be really growing up.

Commit to the Cause: Develop a New Strategy

If you are deeply committed to dating someone your parents don't approve of then you'll have to innovate and plan a new strategy to win their approval.
If you are deeply committed to dating someone your parents don't approve of then you'll have to innovate and plan a new strategy to win their approval. | Source

If It Fails

Sometimes our best laid plans fail. If this happens to you, don’t give up.

Reach out to the parent you most resonate with or even the poorer or less rich parent. This won’t work if both of your parents grew up with silver spoons, but it will work if one of your parents comes from a working class or middle income family.

Help the poorer parent to remember their own childhood experience. Ask him or her about their struggles.

Then thank the hero or heroine. Congratulate him or her on “making it” despite the odds. Perhaps the person you want to date might make it too.

If the parent you resonate most with isn’t the poor parent, then remind that parent you most resonate with of your special bond. Think of the first times when that parent let you explore and experience life on your own. Times like walking to the park alone. Tell him or her how good you felt.

Help your parent remember the love that you two share and not the pain you feel now. Spend time together and rebuild the connection you once hade.

Too often parents and teens drift apart and this causes rifts in the relationship. Float back into that parent’s heart and mind. You just might land an ally.

Romeo & Juliet's Relationship Was Forbidden

Talk To Your Parents About The Facts of Life

All people have problems. The rich have problems and so do the poor.

The educated may have a hard time finding a job just like the uneducated.

African Americans, Asian Americans and White Americans get divorced even when they marry within their ethnicity. And you are not even proposing marriage; you just want to go out on a date.

Remember when I told you that love conquers all? Remember it does, but don’t get too caught up in love for the moment. I promise you, you’ll have more fun in the fun, especially when you communicate openly with your parents and show them that your head is in the right place.

It might sound hard, but it’s not. You’ve been talking to your parents about everything else all your life.

Why not talk about this?

What do you think? What do you feel?

Do you think you will talk to your parents about dating someone poor?

See results


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    • LagunaAlkaline profile image


      5 years ago from Camas, WA

      It's so true! Both teenagers and parents alike have communication troubles sometimes though. This hub is definitely helpful!

    • livelifeworryfree profile imageAUTHOR

      Princess Clark 

      5 years ago from The DMV

      Thanks this is an important topic especially for parents more than teens. The teenage years are so hard. Open communication is key.

    • LagunaAlkaline profile image


      5 years ago from Camas, WA

      Wow! I was thinking about wrtiting about this topic (it showed up A LOT in my exclusives) but I wasn't sure how ANYONE could write about this. You did a great job! So glad I didn't decide to try! Voted up and awesome!

    • SaffronBlossom profile image


      5 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Just communicating is great advice for any topic teens and parents may argue about! My parents weren't so much worried about me dating someone poor...they just wanted me to never date at all haha. :)


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