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How to Get a New Girlfriend!

Updated on October 28, 2012
Source

1950's Woman

Source

Understanding Women of the 21st Century - What Women Want!

The world is full of single women. in fact according to the 2010 Census there were more than 17,000,000 women living single and loving it. Single men used to out number single women by far but things are shifting and the gap is getting smaller. According to the same survey there were slightly under 14,000,000 men living under the single status.

So while there are more than enough ladies available - they no longer need to marry in order to establish happy and full lives. In the 1950's more than 50% of all females were married by the time they were 20 years old. If they weren't they were deemed deviant. Unless the ladies had some ailment or mental handicap the role to fill was the happy housewife. Unmarried females would be called spinsters or old maids. Doctors just kept the ladies doped up on Valium so they wouldn't realize what a raw deal they were getting.

Now females have managed to become educated, employed - empowered. The helpless lady is now a warrior. Women enjoy financial freedom and can now qualify for a loan without a man. A lady can buy her own damn house and car and open the door all by herself.

Women still want companionship and the growing trend are couples that live together - unmarried. Women are getting crazy ideas. They realize the package deal that was sold for generations might no longer be the best investment. It takes a pretty clever guy to attract today's woman. They no longer have to depend on men, so it's a little tougher to chain these ladies down - you will definitely need at least one big ball.

Source

Roll Your Sleeves Up and Get to Work!

Before You Get A New Girlfriend....

  1. If you are married get divorced. If you have a girlfriend you need to break up with her. Don't just take the new girl for a test drive in case she doesn't work out. Make sure you are mentally prepared and have no ties to your old girlfriend.
  2. Get a J-O-B! Girlfriends are expensive. If your new girl has to pay for your dinner - well you are just a liability, now aren't you? If you are getting your act together and you are interested in a female it would be a good first step to let her know that you are working on your situation and you would look forward to spending more time together while you work things out. Try being friends first if you aren't ready for a girlfriend.
  3. If you are over 21 unless you are helping your parents in some way - move out of their home. Learn to take care of yourself and live independently. Most females (not really desperate ones) think it is weird when they ask where you live and you say with your mother. There are exceptions to every rule but if you are just free loading - don't be afraid to grow up.

She's gonna listen to her heart....

"Love is a game that two can play and both can win." ~ Eva Gabor

If all else fails....

Where to Find a Girlfriend

  • Move. Most of the men that are living single are on the west coast and the single ladies live on the east coast. Not only are these ladies single but some of them are rich too!
  • Work - have you really looked at the single girls where you work? Are there any you might consider knowing better?
  • Take a Class - If you like photography take a class at a local community college. There are classes available in just about any subject that interests you. Single, available women are at college campuses near you in mass quantities. Step outside of your comfort zone if you think it isn't for you. Try it.
  • Join a gym if you like healthy ladies.
  • Volunteer your time to a cause you support - it is a great way to meet people you already have something important in common with.
  • Join a Club - if you like to Hike or do outdoor things - there are clubs for singles for just about anything. Google is your friend.
  • Do you have nieces or nephews? Tag along to their sporting events.
  • Do things you enjoy - if you like art - go to an art museum. Do things that you like to do - and you are bound to meet people with common interests. Learn to be happy with yourself. Don't depend on a woman to make you happy!
  • Mail order a bride. If you just can not find a good American woman you may have to cast your net a little wider. Apparently Russia has an excess of lovely ladies who would marry you no matter what sight unseen. In this case - you can smell and look like a sweaty pig and still get a girlfriend who will agree to marry you. She won't even understand what the hell you are saying so it would be hard to screw that up.
  • Dating service - In 2002 there were more than 904 dating services. That is a lotta people seriously looking for a date!

Single, eligible and mentally stable females are everywhere. Getting a girlfriend isn't rocket science. Most women are just looking for companionship and someone to share their experiences with. Love and affection will grow if it is cultivated. Find happiness in your life and the rest will follow.

"A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive." ~Bruce Jay Friedman

All the Single Ladies - Are HERE!

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  • Kevin Peter profile image

    Kevin Peter 4 years ago from Global Citizen

    Very interesting hub. Nice tips on finding a new girl friend. Let me first try the methods mentioned and soon let you know the result.....

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    If you got the right one it sure is quicksand! lol Every single time I tell my husband I bought something on sale, he mouths something about how "there I go again, saving him money!" haha

  • quicksand profile image

    quicksand 4 years ago

    "Girlfriends are expensive." Lol! They sure are! (But oft it's worth every penny!) Re-lol!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Awww well good luck Lin02! I hope you have a great girlfriend - or a night light!

  • Lin02 profile image

    Lin02 5 years ago from India

    Thanks really need to have a girlfriend. I can't live alone especially when I am afraid of the dark.

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Nyamance - that is good advice. I mean even if the guy realizes he just wants a few dates it is better to tell a girl "yeah I am not looking for a serious relationship now." I found out most men ARE NOT looking for that - it just happens. So many of them think they don't want to get serious but they start dating a girl and find out she is worth settling down:)

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Ha! Yeah Vicki! I linked it! lol

    I know...I am SO bad but I had to laugh that I even found those dolls in Amazon!! haha I swear - you can order anything at Amazon! I linked you back too btw - perfect!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey love - yeah that is true - there are some things I would NEVER do for money - actually lots of things! LOL

  • Nyamache profile image

    Joshua Nyamache 5 years ago from Kenya

    Well written hub. Before a man gets a new girlfriend he should have a clear reason why he wants to have a relationship with a girl. Some men just enter into a relationship without having a clear reason thus the relationship ends up having no clear purpose.

  • Victoria Lynn profile image

    Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

    The map is hilarious!!! So are the blow up dolls. Okay, so you know that 10 reasons to stay single I wrote on Wizzley? gotta add your links over there. Too funny!

  • Lovelovemeloveme profile image

    Lovelovemeloveme 5 years ago from Cindee's Land

    Real housewife - nice story. But....

    Eeeeewwww. The things some ppl do for money. Eewwww. Just get a job lol !

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Thanks so much Twixmixy - same to you!

    Cougars! LOL. I love that term:) yeah I think the days of Three's Company are gone!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Oh Critical message you are right! Lol. I did do that - I'm sorry!

    Thank you too!

  • Twixmixy profile image

    Janet R. Chamberlain 5 years ago from Charlotte, NC

    RHW - Hahah. Cougars. I guess if they can get away with it, but I'm sure they know they are dating a dumb-dumb.

    Love - Thanks! Hope you just as much success and happiness in your journey!

  • CriticalMessage profile image

    Murphy 5 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

    1st you are kind enough to provide advice to lame guys... Then you tail off into bashing lame guys in your comments... Poor lame guys... *rolls eyes*

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Yeah I guess - oh I can't even guess how that can be okay for a guy!!! haha! But I bet you there is some sociopathy or psycopathy involed in that dream date! hahahaha

    I have seen it myself though - I worked in the ER and this guy brought his GF in - (crazy and very OLD woman too like 100) and he was telling me he was her "caregiver" ...YAH right! When he wasn't in the room - SHE told me he was her BOYFRIEND and that he had been throwing hard candies at her.

    I know it's awful but I could not help laughing at that scene either. And this woman was dressed in some glittery sparkly stuff - OMG! The guy - was like 35? Cute too! But what a freak!

    NO LIE!!!!

  • Lovelovemeloveme profile image

    Lovelovemeloveme 5 years ago from Cindee's Land

    Twixmixy - good job! good for you! hard works pays off. It's true. men value women who know themselves and what they want. U go girl

  • Lovelovemeloveme profile image

    Lovelovemeloveme 5 years ago from Cindee's Land

    HAHA, I liked that mail ordered bride was included in your list.

    ANd yes, getting a job is very important. Does that still happen in this time and decade? Well... i guess if the guy is super hot looking and willing to date grandma to get free stuff, then sure why not right? feel free to be a lazy bum with that gorgeous face, dating granny.

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    You are right on! I truly think that is the key - first if you find happiness in your own self - it shows so much on the outside! Those are the shiny girls guys do love!

    Thanks and good luck to you and he:)

  • Twixmixy profile image

    Janet R. Chamberlain 5 years ago from Charlotte, NC

    I am blessed and have an amazing boyfriend :) But it was only because I went on the road to self discovering. Guys don't want girls who don't know who they are or what they want in life!

    Now I'm happy to share that continual journey of discovery with my best friend (who happens to be my boyfriend!)

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Twixmixy! Thank you! I am right in the middle of writing How to Get a New Boyfriend! lol I have some excellent tips for the girls too - (I have a daughter that is 23 so I still have lots of girls that age that hang out here) they all call me mama. LOL

    You are right on and that is one of my suggestions - forget about the guy factor - do what you love and then you will have plenty of candidates that already have a common interest with you! And when you make YOU happy first - that is so attractive to a guy!

    Something tells me you don't need to read "How to Get a New Boyfriend"....not only are you cute but smart too!

  • Twixmixy profile image

    Janet R. Chamberlain 5 years ago from Charlotte, NC

    Those tips on "where to find..." are also great for girls! I know far too many girls that are wondering where the good men are. Get involved in what you are passionate about or become passionate about things. Just get out! (besides the bar scene) Through self improving activities you will find a plethora of eligible men.

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Yeah...I was just kidding:) I have been to Chicago a few times and yeah I sure wouldn't drive there for a date no matter how cute he was!

    Thanks for the tips - so there ya go guys - coffee shops and groceries!

  • CriticalMessage profile image

    Murphy 5 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

    Well it's not like STL is right next door to anywhere in Chicagoland... So your version of being 'not too far' ???... Isn't matching up with my version.. I have learned that the coffee shops and grocery stores are where the real action can be found... The bars are just for show and tell.

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    That is so true! Especially these days - you can go buy a new set of calves, butt, boobs, even pad your shoulders! haha

    Thank you!

  • profile image

    lovedoctor926 5 years ago

    A very good hub RealHousewife.. Thank God that I am not high maintenance. Looks can be deceiving.. Lol...

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey NateB11 - thank you so much! I have such fun creating some of these hubs:)

    ha! You are a clever one! I expect you will have at least 3 new girlfriends by the end of the day!! LOL

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Hezekiah - thank you so much! I so appreciate your comments!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey you aren't too far from me CriticalMessage - there are no shortage of supply of women here I can tell you. The bars are overflowing with scantily clad females! Trust me on that! LOL I should go to a bar and just take random photos! LOL Thanks I think you - critical message - just gave me another hub idea:)))

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Thank you so much!!!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey tjdavis! I do agree. Kids come first. I know my brother in law got divorced and I was bowled over and thought it was the kindest thing that he said, "nope I am not gonna date until the kids move away - I think they come before a new woman"...so right! His kids did know they were #1 - and they didn't have trouble trying to learn to deal with another female autority figure. I wouldn't want to be alone though - so I guess it's an individual thing with the kids. They for sure should be a huge factor in any moves:) Great point!

    Hey yeah...maybe I should do that! I have never had too much trouble finding a guy around here! ha! Move to St. Louis!! LOL

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Well you are a clever one, now your girlfriend will be sure to see that comment and know she can trust you! LOL

    Thanks jainismus - I do appreciate the read and comment and food for thought later just in case! LOL

  • NateB11 profile image

    Nathan Bernardo 5 years ago from California, United States of America

    I am always taken in by your delightful sense of humor. I like your light-hearted approach to something many people take very seriously; it's good poke fun a bit. Even the Amazon ads were funny. That's a nice touch. Also, very unique use of Google Maps, which I now will be using in my travels. Very creative, very well-done. Now I got to go enroll in a photography class and go to my nephews soccer game, plus visit the gym.

  • Hezekiah profile image

    Hezekiah 5 years ago from Japan

    Very interesting, thanks. One in the pic is nice - cheers.

  • CriticalMessage profile image

    Murphy 5 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

    I just happen to be smack dab in the middle of the 2 locations your article specified as being havens for single women... It would be silly for me to move to the East Coast...

  • traslochimilano profile image

    traslochimilano 5 years ago from USA

    Very interested

  • tjdavis profile image

    Teresa Davis 5 years ago from Moscow, Texas

    Really cute hub...I had no idea about the demographics of single men and women. I do think if the man does not have children he should move to be with the woman but if either have children, then a compromise should be made. We ladies have come a long way from the 1950's mindset lol. So when do we get a hub on how to find a good man lol.

  • jainismus profile image

    Mahaveer Sanglikar 5 years ago from Pune, India

    Interesting, useful hub, but I am not interested in finding a new girlfriend........ :)

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Crictical Message - actually you haven't told me why and I'd sure LOVE to know! Now I'm sleepy and it's early for me...but I swear I'm missing something!

  • CriticalMessage profile image

    Murphy 5 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

    Heck, no need to move to the East Coast after all... Have I mentioned how much, and a huge reason why, I love living between Milwaukee, WI & Chicago, IL ??? *GRINS*

  • josh3418 profile image

    Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

    No problem! :)

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Thanks Again Josh!

  • josh3418 profile image

    Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

    You are welcome, yeah they were pretty much priceless! :)

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Thanks Josh - see why I LOVE those Amazon capsules?! Oh I've found the links for us there are just endless!

    I often use them to help me hammer a point home or make an exclamation point of some kind:) lol

  • josh3418 profile image

    Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

    This was awesome Kelly, so informative, well-written and researched, all at the same time! And I can't leave out the fact of how funny it was that you added the amazon float-able friends. HAHA LOL Great job, voted up, and many more and sharing!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi laadhy and thank you so much!

  • laadhy profile image

    laadhy 5 years ago from Maldives- The Paradise on Earth

    You did an excellent research. Hub is so informative and interesting. Great hub

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Alex Jose - thank you! That is such a wonderful compliment! I will go to bed with a smile on my face for sure tonight:)

  • Alex Jose profile image

    Alex Jose 5 years ago from Cleveland, Ohio

    Gosh even though i am married but still i loved the hub and definitely want to pass on some of this information to maybe my colleagues at my office. so a thumbs up from me to this hub.

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Critical Message - hurry and you will have your pick of the litter! hahaha! Thank yo uso much for the great comment! Good luck getting yourself a hottie too!

  • CriticalMessage profile image

    Murphy 5 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

    Taking notes and planning my newly desired relocation to the East Coast.. *grins*... Very informative and well presented.. Thank you! I surely do appreciate these insights that you have provided.

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi jaspals - thank you so much! I always try to choose a topic I think I can have fun with - and also let other people learn from my reseach so it isn't a complete waste of time! LOL LOL

  • Jaspals profile image

    Jaspal Singh 5 years ago from India / Australia

    Good ideas but She will kill me if i try. You have certainly written interesting topic.

  • X-Con profile image

    X-Con 5 years ago from The Free World!

    Thanks!

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    X-Con - you know as soon as I adopted the attitude - like wow- I don't really need a guy to survive do I? I met one I liked a lot! Lol. I think love find you when you're really not looking for it. Patience is a virtue. Ladies are a real lot of trouble usually:) hahaha I know you will write to me soon and say - guess what I got c chick and a job - and she doesn't even smoke! Lol. Good luck - I'll be crossing my fingers things go your way:)

  • X-Con profile image

    X-Con 5 years ago from The Free World!

    Good hub. I'm single myself, and have been for about 9 years (I was in federal prison for 8 out of those 9 years). After I got released from prison, I was kind of looking for a lady. I kept on meeting women that didn't suit me, though. They were smokers and drinkers, and I'm just not into that sort of thing. Especially smoking. That's just nasty; so I just gave up looking. I've been single in the free world for over a year now, and you what? It's not too bad. I'm in no rush to meet a woman now. My mentality now is: if it happens it happens. What I really need is job!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey college dad - wow! That's crazy - I don't think I'd want to live over in Russia - and what's the deal with all of them making a pretty package of themselves for sale? Man it must SUCK to live in Russia and be a woman:) lol

  • collegedad profile image

    collegedad 5 years ago from The Upper Peninsula

    A buddy of mine went to Russia to pick up his bride and never returned. He was kinda of a goofy fella. I wonder what happened to him. Oh well...........great hub!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I just knew you would have straight A's! Well a year goes by so quick especially when you are on the home stretch. Doesn't it feel so great when you are all caught up? Celebrate! lol

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi xstatic - thank you! That is so funny - I often read stuff to my husband and it is so fun to get a good laugh together. Sometimes while I am writing stuff I will try it out on him and we both get hysterical! lol So it is a truly nice compliment to know I provided a laugh to you and yours:)

  • mythicalstorm273 profile image

    mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

    Nope not done with school... I do have straight A's so far, but I still have another year left at a minimum... But I did manage to catch up on my homework for once so I was capable of catching up with your hubs!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Myth - I knew you were catching up and was so glad to see your mug:) lol I think it means you are done with school and I bet you got straight A's! Didn't that go by so fast? Man - school made time fly for me. I loved college. I had so much more latitude in what I could take though. Thanks so much for being such a great reader, friend and commenter! Happy to see you!!!

  • xstatic profile image

    Jim Higgins 5 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

    Outstanding Hub! A great idea well exectued. you are an excellent writer! I read this aloud to my wife and we were both laughing. I don't know how I missed it when you published, but am glad I found it. Up all the way! Shared as well.

  • mythicalstorm273 profile image

    mythicalstorm273 5 years ago

    Hahaha... I haven't stopped by in quite a while and I suddenly had the NEED to catch up on your hubs and this one def. made me miss reading your stuff! It kept a smile on my face the whole time. It was entertaining and yet witty! I just love your writing. Great hub!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    WHAT IS Q!! Awesome - so good to see you hubbing again!

    Oh I am so shocked you are single! I bet you have had to work hard at that:). Wisconsin is good! There are plenty of good chicks there - and lots ah beer too! Or maybe it's cheese? Either way! Hey Stacy is from there so they grow good girls too! Lol.

    I thought it would be fairly cheap to order the Russian bride - I mean just pop some air holes in a box and give her some spring water and vodka! She will arrive in top rate condition for the alter. Hey you could have her mailed to Wisconsin - have some good wine, cheese, pop her out of the box - Stacy can fix her hair (I'm sure she will need it) and wamo! You got a wedding party! Lmao! Stacy can even be the photographer! Can I be the flower girl?

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi there Wisdom! Well again - I see why you're called wisdom! Lol

    Thanks so much - ir early appreciate your reading and comments!!

  • What Is Q profile image

    Adam 5 years ago from Tennessee

    Lol. Thank you so much for the map and pinpointing where all the single women are. There's plenty of fish in the sea and sometimes you just need one of those sonar gadgets that show you where they are. I'm moving to Wisconsin in a couple months, do you think that is far enough east? I didn't know that women were capable of opening doors. That's good to know. Now I can stop doing it. Maybe one day the men will take on the role that was once women's, and we'll all stay at home and you guys can provide for us. I hope it happens in my lifetime. On a side note, I am very tempted to mail order someone from Russia, but only if I don't have to pay the postage, because it'd probably take a helluva lot of stamps to mail a person overseas. But anyway, I'm one of the men who are single and loving it. I've worked hard to get to where I am at in my single status.

  • wisdom25 profile image

    Maurice Wisdom Bishop 5 years ago from San Tan Valley

    Great article!! I like the video you posted as well! Much Love and Respect

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Ethan - Well they are on the East Coast in the U.S.! Lol. Can you just move over?

    I really wish I could move over there - then I could tell you! Ha! I may know someone who knows a thing or two about it in England - I'll ask! Lol. Sounds dreamy to live there though! You even have a Queen! Sweet:) I asked if I could be Queen over here in the U S but I got a parking ticket once...they said no:) lol.

  • Ethan Green profile image

    Ethan Green 5 years ago from England

    Could you write one about where all the single ladies are in England next please?

    That would be great...

    Nice Hub!

    Ethan

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Right Daffy - then we would both be totally unreliable! lol Unless we could get adult Garanimals!

    Speaking of which...I was shopping tonight at J.C. Penny's and I took a few photos for you! lol Don't know how I would get them to you now...so much for proper planning!

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Ardie! LOL Yeah - I know this hub isn't so much useful for my "girl" friends...but I think it is morbid curiosity! haha! Ardie - you just never fail to make me laugh! Hilarious!

  • Ardie profile image

    Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

    RHW, its so interesting that the single males are on the west coast and single females are on the east coast. It makes me wonder why... If I am ever in the market for a new girlfriend I know your advice will carry me far!! :)

  • Daffy Duck profile image

    Daffy Duck 5 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

    Of course. If you were drunk who would pick out his clothes to wear. :)

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    LOL No Daffy - I figured it was clever. I mean - he really couldn't match well...he kept it pretty secret that he was giving his mom money to buy the good stuff:) lol I just took over right away...picked up where his mom left off - figuring some things you just can't fix!

    No he doesn't like me drunk - I am Indian! hahaha! No WAY does he like me to get drunk! haha!

  • Daffy Duck profile image

    Daffy Duck 5 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

    If his mom was still buying his clothes why did you continue to see him? Did he keep you drunk? :)

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Nell Rose - you are such a treat!! lol How hilarious is that - and hey good idea! Every guy still LOVES a damsel in distress, don't they? It is sad but I think guys like ladies to be all needy! Problem is yeah, now they are letting women do the same darn jobs and men so some of us can fix cars...pave roadways...be Secretary of State! Whew! Equality? Who would have ever thunk?

    I also hope you learned your lesson = don't swim with all the guys - you just lounge in the chairs and have them oil your back:) lol

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Daffy! I really do agree but hey - in order to GET the date you probably need to be somewhat attractive:) haha! My husband was a bachelor and we started dating when he was like 30? 32? IDK - long time ago! I always thought he looked very nicely dressed...color coordinated - tie, shirt, shoes, slacks...I liked it and my curiosity was piqued! Well, lol, I found out his mommy was still buying his work clothes! HAHAHA! Now THAT made more sense than a guy who could totally dress tastefully all by himself each day:) And boy I have since learned he needs all the help he can get! haha!

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Alastar - if they guys could all see things your way - they would live much happier:) haha Yeah apparently chicks just wanna shack up nowadays! They don't need no "fn" ring! hahahaha You crack me up - always! Gotta love that in a guy! Thank you so much:)

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    Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

    Yes living with your mum is a no no! and not working of course. great hub and info, yes we women are now independent and want someone who is the same. Another great place to meet someone is going swimming, make out you are drowning and get pulled from the pool by the hunky lifeguard! you think I am joking? it happened to me! haha! trouble was I wasn't joking, and he wasn't that hunky but he did the job! well, pulled me out, and me laying there like a fish out of water! but there were loads of guys swimming with me, that's probably why I lost my stroke! lol!

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    Daffy Duck 5 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

    It's interesting you added a video for guys on how to dress. Getting a girlfriend would automatically solve that problem because they like telling us what to wear anyway. It's partially how women "mark their territory". lol!

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    Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

    Hmm, as an ex-expert in the ways and wiles of womanhood i can only agree with everything you've said here. The ladies of today certainly have broken out of that June Cleaver mold and now are assertive and confident enough to demand a night of champagne and whoopie! What's an old-fashioned fellow to do under these relatively new circumstances? Well, I say bite the bullet and get with the program son, you might even find you enjoy the new paradigm in the game of romancing the new and improved female warrior! Well done Kelly- instructive and fun fun fun!

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Why yes Thomas! Otherwise all the time I tell my husband I'm "working" - well I'd just be lying now wouldn't I? Hahaha

    I think bussing is a fabulous idea! Go Greyhound! But really I have a feeling that would be your luck! Lol. You'd be in guy town and the girls would be on the outgoing bus. You can trick them - stay right where you are! A girl is coming to a busy intersection near you soon! Lmao

    As always you make me laugh - I love that in a guy!

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    ThoughtSandwiches 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada

    Kelly,

    Hmmm...Does writing on Hubpages constitute a job...I mean for dating purposes?

    Well crap...I don't want to move to the East coast...perhaps we should bring back busing like we had in school back in the day? You know...hotties head West...rich attractive guys head East...then when the hotties get here...I will be the only guy here...?

    Excellent job as always my friend! So...the girl in the white dress in the picture....did you have her number??

    Thomas

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi MG Singh - thank you so much! I really appreciate the read and comment!

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey ts! lol Thank you so much - I guess you have come to a full awakening by now? hahaha! I find the west/east thing very strange indeed - I mean if say there were only 10% more females on one side than the other that would be a coincidence - but the fact that they are almost evenly divided living across oceans practically -???? Weird. I mean go figure the guys can't find available girls - they are over ---->!

    Thank you SO much!

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Stacy - lol No one else seemed to notice those pretty dolls! All packed up with love:) lmao I just COULD NOT resist - man the amazon ad was so cute! lol

    Thank you so much - you always come around and pack the party into the hub:) Hey and Eli didn't play very hard to get! lol He could not resist your charms!

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey darknezz - good luck to you! I just do not understand why you are not taken yet! lol

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi mikeydcarroll67 - Ok I think you did just add that! lol I totally agree - I mean asking your date if they want to hang out next to the convenient washer dryer doesn't sound too romantic:) hahahaha! I certainly agree a girl would just check that dude off the list and keep on going! lol

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    MG Singh 5 years ago from Singapore

    It's a beautiful post and I loved it

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    Tim Mitchell 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

    I like the way you think Realhousewife. Dating is a real funny thing. Maybe that is why so many movies have that theme, eh? Hey, just for fun, eh? is a Canadian theme of sorts, did you know, and that spelled backwards is ?he, I dun'no, just waking up.

    I like your strategic thinking with darknezz's dilema. What a great hub you have shared. I had no idea of the west-east relationship, still in theta I think of Dragons.

    Now, I am enticed with the opening pic, alas I am a male and not alpha at all, more epsilon moron at times :) Sorry, seems cryptic, but awakaening I assure you. I did learn something new regarding the economics of relationships too.

    I'm stuck on the east-west thing. I wonder why? Maybe a 6th-7th-8th sense of things. Earthquakes? Maybe? They say love causes the earth to shake :) The comments are awesome too. Thanks! Kinda' got a two for one deal with this hub - oh you sneaky little devil you - in pun :)

    I feel like writing a hub now and laundry tomorrow morning early, maybe there will be some single gals there then - lol :) Keep up the Fantastic work . . .

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    Stacy Harris 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

    OMG - I am so laughing at this... I mean... beyond the fact that this is blunt honest tips, I can not believe you actually put blow up dolls there in case you options don't work out.

    I have to say, for me I was always really attracted to the bad boy... you know - the one that I can't have. So, worst-case scenario - the guy should play hard to get... after all, if there are that many single ladies compared to the single men - there chances of landing someone is much better!

    Like usual... great hub.. Voted all the way around... still looking for the LMAO button to punch!

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    Daniel Durand 5 years ago from Southern Idaho

    Hey RealHousewife-

    I'm actually 19. Thanks for the suggestions- I may have to bend the coworker rule a little, and I'll definitely have to go out and "write".

    Thanks for taking the time to write me back, and for the in depth response. I'll let you know how your suggestions work out.

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    mikeydcarroll67 5 years ago

    You might want to add that guys also need to be goal oriented like for grad school. Guys need to have either a job or a business that they own (have something better than living in the basement).

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey darknezz - Ok well, I can see why you might be having issues. In your case - location,location,location! I checked - there are not very many states with less population that Idaho. And according to the Census the population steadily rises - but in 2010 only about 24% of the population is single - then you have to account for seniors - then males - then attached females in your age range - so I think you need to move! haha! Not possible? Ok there seems to be a larger bursts of population around Keetenai, Bonneville and Kellog Counties - so you would probably increase your chances by hanging and working in those type areas.

    You are cute - very clever and funny. Obviously you have goals and are very well spoken. You look to be about 23 to me...24 - ? Do you have rules about dating coworkers? If not - are you sure there aren't any cute girls you are overlooking? Are you very picky? You apparently can't be too choosey in Idaho! lol

    Now - a few suggestions. You like to write so have you thought about joining a writers group? Have you considered maybe taking your laptop to a nice coffe type place to "write"? I would get to be a regular at a place ike that maybe. If you like music - have you thought about trying to get a part time job at a concert venue - where you could meet endless ladies, make a few extra bucks and listen to free concerts? I would try to work in a really fun atmosphere at your age. Even if you really only do a job like that - you usually don't get a ton of hours per month (depending on events) but I met a lot of guys I crushed on at work and I always took interesting part time jobs (at a farmers market - once on a showboat) so thing about that. You need to go where the chicks your age are - slim picking in Idaho! lol

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi darknezz - let me take a look at your profile before I answer you. I'd like to try to know a bit more about you first...brb:) lol

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi traslochimilano - whew that's a mouthful! Lol. Thank you so much - I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!!

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi emilybee - thank you so much! Yes well some guys (like my husband) need very literal directions! Haha! When we were dating - he was so clueless! Lol. I mean with my guy - you just can't hint to some guys. If you want to go out to dinner - you have to say "I want to go out to dinner" ... You can't be pissed because he doesn't think to ask...when if I do ask he's more than happy to ususally do what I want. I just don't expect him to guess what I want:) lol.

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Bob - lol - no I thought it was the Americans who screw everything up? Ya! That's right! Haha

    Ahhh! Good eye Bob - you busted my ball! Ahahahahaha!

    Yes! I was drunk on a bus in Mexico...what a hoot! My friend and I did not know how to say stop! In Spanish! And we were on a bus that did not have an obvious pull tyoe bell or button - well every other single body on that bus - did not speak English! It was so full everyone was standing up...and of course we are laughing our asses off - because no one can understand what our dumb butts were asking! Lol. Finally it stops and more people get on - I heard English so I shouted hey - tell him to stop this bus (but I was laughing) some drunk guy says "just forget it! You're going wherever he is!" lol.

    He did tell the driver to stop for us...but like two blocks past our hotel! Haha! That was so much fun! You SHOULD have been there! So me and Austinstar want to go for my birthday 12/21!! Lol. Meet ya there!

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    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I would have to disagree:) I mean in the 1950's - a woman couldn't get a loan - or a job - or take care of herself without a man! The freedom for women to be in full control of her own life ??? That in and of itself is tremendous. A man could commit his wife to a mental institution if he wished! Oh my...I'd would say there have been welcome and radical changes.

    Thanks so much fo a great comment though - I'm certain many peole would disagree with me - that's just my feeling.