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How to Give Emotional Support to a Spouse Who Suffers From a Car Accident Injury
Car accidents cause a lot of injuries in many countries each year. According to the WHO, road traffic injuries cause more deaths among young people aged between 15 and 29 years than any other cause.
But what do you do, if your partner or spouse is one of this statistics? How should you relate to your lover or your spouse who is suffering as a result of a car accident injury?
In this article, I want to look at some of the things a husband or wife can do to make life worth living for his or her partner who is involved in a car accident and who, as a result, suffers a car injury.
So, what can you do to give emotional support to your spouse, if he or she suffers a car injury?
Encourage Your Spouse To Take Life One Day At A Time
In Exodus 23 v 29 of the Bible, when God was taking the Israelites into the land of Canaan, He informed them about the fact that He would not drive out the nations living in Canaan in one year, otherwise, the land would become desolate and the wild beasts would multiply against the Israelites.
By doing this, God was teaching us that when we have huge challenges, when we are faced with enormous challenges or difficulties, we have to tackle it one day at a time, otherwise, worse problems may crop up and defeat us.
Really trying times can often bring complex and confusing feelings, negative thoughts, wild imaginations, and emotional upheavals into the life of the person who is suffering, and all of these things can paralyze the person mentally, if he or she fails to see that they can only tackle the big problem just one day at a time.
So, if your spouse gets injuries from getting hit by a car, for example, remind your spouse that he or she should just relax and take life one day at a time. Let him or her see that there is no way they can solve the problem all at once and so they should do things one step at a time: first of all, he or she should hope for the best, look at the bright side of the situation, such as the fact that they are still alive, enjoy each day as a blessing, and then put their faith in God for healing and restoration.
Remind Your Spouse That He Or She Is No Less Of A Person
When a person has a fatal car injury, especially if his or her body parts are amputated, that person may make himself or herself feel worse by blaming themselves for the accident, and they may grumble and say things such as, “If I had only done this, or avoided that, the accident may never have happened,” and so on. Furthermore, your spouse may feel that he or she may not be able to cope with the situation.
Therefore, remind your spouse regularly that he or she is no less of a person because of the situation he or she finds himself or herself in, if your spouse has a serious car accident and suffers injuries as a result.
You may encourage the person by saying something such as this often, “Honey, I know it hurts really bad that you were involved in that accident, and I am also sorry about the resulting car injury. But darling, what has happened has happened. And I can assure you that my love for you will not change inspite of the situation. We thank God that you are still alive. Once there is life, there is hope. Always remember that I LOVE YOU IN SICKNESS OR IN HEALTH!” Follow these words with a kiss or a hug to reassure your spouse that he or she can rely on you for comfort and encouragement.
Let Your Spouse See That He Or She Is Growing
Qualities such as wisdom, patience, humility, inner strength, and resilience can all develop in some people when they go through trying times. Your spouse too may learn valuable lessons as a result of the car injury, which will help him or her to become more mature as a person.
So, help your spouse to see that he or she is growing as a person and as a lover. For example, if you see that your spouse has developed humility as a result of the accident, you might say to him or her, “Sweetheart, do you know something? Inspite of the fact that you feel as though you are going through hell, I see you in a new light. You are more thoughtful nowadays, I see that you treat people with more respect now, and you readily acknowledge your shortcomings. I think that is great and I hope you will continue on that path. You are becoming a better person and I am happy for you.” This will help your spouse to see that there is a positive side to this whole negative situation and that will help to lift his or her spirits.
Remind Your Spouse That He Or She Has Come Through Tough Times Before
In 1 Samuel 17 of the Bible, when the 17 year-old boy David was going to face the 9 foot giant called Goliath, he said in verse 36 when King Saul doubted his ability to overcome that big challenge that, “Your servant has killed both lions and bears; and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them.” David reminded himself of the tough challenges he had faced and overcome in the past and that gave him confidence to face his present challenge.
Your spouse may feel so overwhelmed that he or she may find it hard to see his or her strengths, to remember that he or she has overcome challenges in the past before.
Therefore, it is your duty to remind your husband or your wife who has a car injury that yesterday, one month ago, three months ago, or years ago, they faced challenges which they tackled successfully, and so they can face this challenge too and defeat it, if they stop pitying themselves and adopt the right attitude, which is that they should remind themselves that they can be winners again.
Ask Questions Often
Often, people who are going through tragedy worry about their situation, they sometimes become withdrawn, they pity themselves, and that can lead to depression and negative thoughts, such as thoughts of committing suicide, which drives all the joy out of their lives.
Therefore, you need to engage your spouse in conversations often so that you can let him or her see that this tragedy is not the end of their life. Furthermore, trying to draw him or her out of their shell can help you to assess their mental health so that you can seek professional help, if your spouse is showing suicidal tendencies.
So, engage your spouse in interesting conversations often so that you can find out about how your spouse is feeling. It is very important that you make your spouse see that you are always there to listen to his or her concerns.
Furthermore, let your husband or your wife see that you are truly interested in whatever he or she has to share with you and that you really want to support him or her.
To be able to do this effectively, use open-ended questions to guide conversations and to keep conversations flowing so that your spouse can share his or her feelings and thoughts with you freely, which can help him or her to get emotional and psychological relieve.
Open- ended questions start with “Who?” “When?” “What?” “Why?” “Where?” and “How?” For example, ask your spouse, “How are you feeling?” which can help to evoke discussion, which can help to illicit a lengthy response, instead of asking close –ended questions such as, “Do you have pain in your leg?” which your spouse can respond to with just a “Yes” or “No.”
Reassure Your Spouse Often
Make it easy for your spouse to express his or her feelings by avoiding blaming him or her for the accident, or by desisting from criticizing him or her or the situation.
For example, don’t make references to the medical bills that you will incur as a result of the accident, and don’t grumble about the amount of money you may have to spend to see to it that your spouse gets well.
Rather, try to make positive statements such as, “I wish I could do something to make you feel better,” or “I can almost feel what you are going through when I see you moan in pain,” or “Better days will come,” or “It’s not your fault that this happened. God will provide the finances we need to take care of this situation,” or “I think you are a very brave woman because of the way you endure the pain,” or “Nothing lasts forever. Believe me, this situation will not last forever,” and so on so that your spouse will know that you are prepared to give unconditional support. This will help him or her to feel at ease, which will ultimately help your spouse to stay emotionally strong. A spouse who is emotionally stable will relate to you better and you can continue to enjoy your relationship.
Take Your Spouse To Church Often
Research suggests that when one goes to church, it can help to create positive feelings in the person. A person who is feeling upbeat about life will be able to endure tragedy and pain better than a person who is feeling negative about his or her circumstances.
So, if your spouse is in a situation that will permit him or her to attend church, take him or her to church every Sunday and Wednesday evening so that they can listen to soul-inspiring music, hear encouraging sermons, and socialize with happy people, all of which will help them to look at the positive side of the whole situation.
On the other hand, if your spouse is bedridden and so cannot go to church, create church conditions in his or her room for him or her so that they can still be inspired: play preaching sermons to them often, play inspirational gospel music to them, encourage Christian brothers and sisters to visit him or her frequently, read motivational passages from the Bible to him or her every day, and pray with your spouse every morning and evening.
If your spouse has a car injury, encourage your partner to live one day at a time, continue to show steadfast love to your spouse, re-direct his or her focus and let them see that inspite of the situation they are developing as an individual, boost his or her confidence by reminding them of challenges they have overcome in the past, encourage them to share their feelings often, and let them look up to the God of comfort for spiritual help, and they will be able to endure the situation better.
Do you go to church often?
© 2017 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio