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The Dating Bait Bucket: How to Handle the Snare

Updated on September 14, 2016
H Andelsmen profile image

H. Andelsmen realized her girlfriends were asking advice, often, because she herself has been through so much, so she decided to share.

Quick review

The Snare is a fishing technique that requires minimal, basic equipment or sometimes even an trap. Techniques are named according to actions used while fishing, or in our case, dating. Read more about the Snare here. Do an internet search for snare and then select the images tab. See what you get. A lot of images of snare drums and some images of devices used in hunting and fishing that look like nooses. Yes, nooses. A sample provided below. Pretty self explainatory. I chose to use this to describe an act because, long ago my father took me fishing and while fishing from a bridge into shallow water, he kept dropping in a hook bare of bait and doing a quick jerking motion with his hand. Of course I asked what he was doing. It looked silly to me to be fishing with no bait and just jerking the taut line hurridly. He pointed out the fish below in the water and he explained that since the water was so clear, we could lay our hook in and watch for the fish to swim by and snag it with the hook as it neared. He called it snaring. I loved it instantly and became quite skilled at it myself.

What to handle?

There you are, swimming happily along through your life and suddenly you feel the net of entrapment closing in around you like walking through one of those monstrous, jungle spider webs. You wiggle, twist, turn and fight, but, no matter how hard you struggle you just get deeper in. What is happening here? Why do I feel like there is no where to turn? You feel that way because, most likely there isn't. You should have been watching. Be aware of your surroundings. One must know what hazards lie ahead before deciding how to handle the situation. The first step is identifying the hazard. Here, we know it is the Snare.

Next, you must determine what exactly it is that you want to keep under control, what it is that you want to 'handle'. Do you want to prevent being snared? Do you want to keep certain fisherman from trying to snare you? Or, do you want to be snared but then, let off the hook? Decisions, decisions.


To prevent yourself from being Snared, you must defend yourself. Ask any sports coach, war general, or safety officer. The most important part of building a strong defense is the preparation. Know who or what you are up against. Learn their tactics and plays. Prevent them from breaching your perimeter by knowing what weapons they have. Gain advantage by having a plan to counter their efforts. Be prepared for anything. In this case, you must be prepared to see the Snare and react; therefore, preventing it from developing and occurring. Knowing what you are going to say or do ahead of time is crucial to surviving an attempted Snare.


In order to build your defense, you must decide how you will respond. Equip yourself with some pre-developed rebuttals. It is a common sales technique, to overcome objections by potential customers with a rebuttal. So, in theory, if you can provide an acceptable explanation or logical reasoning as a counter to each of their objections, eventually you will wear them down and they will give in and buy what you are selling. Because, well, what is left for them to argue? So, we reverse that theory. You must arm yourself with enough rebuttals to ensure that those attempting to Snare get discouraged and keep it moving. I will give some examples of the Snare, and how each 'fisherman' may use it. As well as, some optional responses. The types of fisherman are described here, in the first hub of this series, "The Dating Bait Bucket". Territories are discussed here.


Remember: the Snare is designed to get the hook in quick and reel you in before you even realize what is going on.

The Commercial Fisherman

This guy is here for his survival. This is his job. Because he doesn't shy away from hard work he too, will be full of rebuttals, so he must be shut down curtly and with some salt rubbed in it. He must know upfront this is a waste of his time and he will move on. Some things a Commercial Fisherman might say when attempting to Snare you:

"I am a good provider"

  • "Ok, thank you for clearing that up. I can check that one off my list of questions. Pfft."

"Well since you aren't available on Friday, why don't I make is easier for you by stopping by to take you to lunch on Thursday."

  • "Whoa, wait, I haven't agreed to anything just yet."

"I understand that you may be talking to others but, I am patient and sincere."

  • "So are they, or so they say."

The Recreational Fisherman

This is fun and games to him. He wants to toy with you. Quick, short, sharp rejection is what this one must get. Do not open it up for discussion, do not elaborate, that is what he likes, a good fight. Some things a Recreational Fisherman might say:

"I am going out of town this weekend and I am taking you. Where should I pick you up?"

  • "Enjoy."

"What do you say we go back to my place? I have plenty to drink there."

  • "Taxi!"

"Where are you all going after the party?"

  • "My mom's."

The Sports Fisherman

This guy enjoys it as well but, he is a professional. He too needs a bit of indifference, though it probably won't stop him altogether. Just don't venture far off course and keep it short. If he is after you, you are definitely his type so, don't bother with that mess.

"Come over here, let me introduce you to my friends."

  • "I am not trying to meet your friends."

"Bartender, give her and her friends whatever shots they want and put it on my tab."

  • "They don't drink and I'm good for now."

"I got my own room here, separate from my friends."

  • "I wouldn't have wasted the money."

Let it go

What to remember most is that the Snare is the ultimate hook-up. Someone doesn't use this method to seduce you or to commit any time in getting to know you. They are using it to make a quick catch, then inspect it, and most likely throw it back. Some don't even take the time to load their hook with bait. Value yourself enough to not fall for such antics.

A fisherman worth his salt will know if he can catch you with the Snare, then he needn't bother to put more effort into it.

© 2016 HanDelsmen


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